“Plan? Plan? What plan? Oh, that plan. Lemme keep looking, I’m sure it’s up here somewhere.”
Hm, lessee here:
• “Glitches prevent $1,200 stimulus checks from reaching millions.” (WaPo).
• “Small businesses in despair as fund for government aid runs out.” (NYT)
• “Trump’s ‘Open our country council’ runs into its own opening problems.” (NYT)
• “Clusterfuck: a complex and utterly disordered and mismanaged situation : a muddled mess.” (Merriam-Webster)
Tags: Clusterfucks, The Plague
Mad Blog Media 
April 16, 2020 at 2:23 pm |
Add this. I guess you can buy votes.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/rachelsandler/2020/04/14/stimulus-checks-may-be-delayed-because-trump-wants-his-name-printed-on-them-report-says/#6f3736bee0c1
April 16, 2020 at 2:31 pm |
Isn’t that lovely? It would be swell if they misspelled it.
April 16, 2020 at 2:35 pm |
I got my check! It’s signed “Vlad Putin”.
April 16, 2020 at 2:39 pm |
You got one of the good ones. The ones signed by that other fella? They just laugh at you down to the bank when you try to cash that one.
April 16, 2020 at 3:47 pm |
We got our deposit yesterday. So, we will stimulate the economy. I already spent some at my guitar shop, we are getting a gift card for someone who could us it, and the rest will get spent at a local store for some patio furniture. The next generation will just have to pay the interest on this giant, misdirected, knee jerk, bullshit legislation which our congress put on the credit card.
April 16, 2020 at 4:32 pm |
It really is insane, which means it should come as no surprise. Near as I can tell, the people who need the help are not the ones getting it.
We got our tax refund and the DonnyDollars® at nearly the same time. So we spread some bucks around to the food bank, a shelter for homeless women and children, Meals on Wheels, the animal shelter, KUNM-FM, and our local representative (a good’un who is running for re-election).
April 16, 2020 at 4:25 pm |
Shawn: Which gorge do you live in?
April 16, 2020 at 7:53 pm |
I’m out on the east end of the Columbia River Gorge in a fine little town called The Dalles. The riding is good, the local beer is getting better and the food is trying to catch up.
April 16, 2020 at 4:47 pm |
It’s a gorgeous gorge.
April 16, 2020 at 5:56 pm |
Gorgeous Gorge? I know him. Sucked his wheel for a few miles climbing towards Bisbee at the 2018 Sky Island Tour. Big tall feller from Saskatchewan. Rides an old 5200 Trek.
April 16, 2020 at 5:59 pm |
Wow! What about “Curious George”? One of my favorites!! Think we’re struggling for word count and/or socializing? 🙂
April 16, 2020 at 6:05 pm
April 16, 2020 at 7:28 pm |
My wife & I also received our deposits yesterday. A while ago I was planning on passing mine onto others more needy…but I’ve been furloughed from the bike shop since a while now & my wife from her positions at the local rec center. All of the sudden we have become somewhat needy. Sucks – but I’m glad we have direct deposit & we don’t have to look at Impeached president donny Lil Hands signature.
April 16, 2020 at 7:42 pm |
Hey, cool! I’m glad to hear the money is doing some good. We’ve been very, very fortunate, with Herself continuing to work for the Empire and me set to get my first Social Security check sometime next week. I still earn a little from the bike mags, but that income has devolved to the hobbyist level.
I remember being laid off in the mid-Eighties and going through the whole unemployment-insurance flogging. It wasn’t much money and the process was a demeaning pain in the ass, but man, was I ever glad to get it. I finally got another job about two weeks before the unemployment checks were supposed to stop coming.
I hope you two are back to work soon. It’s a really creepy feeling to be at large when it’s not your choice.
April 16, 2020 at 7:59 pm |
The only time I applied for unemployment I honestly told them I had quit. I was curious to see if I would be eligible. Fortunately the system worked properly and they denied me and told me to get off my ass and go get a job. I shamelessly “played” with the system and went through two appeals to see if the system continued to work properly. It did and I got off my butt and took off on a bike trip down the Baja Penninsula.
April 16, 2020 at 8:06 pm |
Haw. I usually just walked off the job and went walkabout for a while. Never even tried for the unemployment. It helps to have a series of friends with couches and a pickup truck with a camper shell for when you wear out your welcome(s) if you do it that way.
April 17, 2020 at 8:26 am |
Thanks! We will be OK. I went through the unemployment application gig a long time ago – no snow year ’75-’76. My main job at the time was contract snow plowing. I would not wish the unemployment office on anyone – well maybe one comes to mind.
April 17, 2020 at 9:17 am
*76-77* memory is hard.
April 17, 2020 at 1:19 am |
https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/health/coronavirus/121079552/coronavirus-nz-podcast-trump-doesnt-have-a-clue-says-helen-clark
April 17, 2020 at 4:24 am |
But, looking to the future, will Trump’s name also appear on tax demands from the IRS?
April 17, 2020 at 10:12 am |
Our banker called to get us on the small business list.So we signed up. She called back and said oops you small business people are SOL ( for those to young to remember the initials it stands for “SHIT OUTTA LUCK”). Got to love the idjits back east them mutts could screw up a good wet dream. If it weren’t for the common sense of the american people, we would all be dead. brain fart elected the trumpster. hope that flatulence has passed for good.
April 17, 2020 at 4:27 pm |
Alas, the stank will linger awhile.
Bummer on the loan. I know gig workers in Colorado who can’t even get to the unemployment benefits yet. The website won’t go live until 4/20. (Insert your own weed joke here.)
April 17, 2020 at 4:25 pm |
My banker called me out of the blue last week and left a long rambling message about loaning me money, extensions on my credit line and reducing credit card rates. I haven’t taken out a loan for anything in ten years or more so would one assume I might be more solvent than those truly in need? I have never tapped my theoretical “credit line” at this bank ever even though they keep telling my they are upping my credit line. And I don’t host any credit cards with the fekkers. All the banks and brokers want to do is take advantage of Covid 19 to get back in the toxic loan business. Oh it’s SO noble of them to offer money to one who doesn’t need it but I’ll bet a tube of Phil Wood lube they won’t do a goddamn thing to help those in dire need.
April 17, 2020 at 4:32 pm |
Fo’ troo. We’ve had our mortgage outfit halfway up our keisters just begging us to do something stupid. Herself just heehaws at ’em. She is mur-der on debt. Makes sure the credit card is paid off every month and nearly has the home loan paid off too.
Debt? Debt? We don’ need no steekeeng debt! ¡Vamanos, muchachos!