Bang-up job, New Mexico

Sunrises and sunsets will be exempt from restrictions
during The Clampdown.

Welp, the gub’nah made it official on Friday the 13th: New Mexico is shit out of luck.

Starting Monday we’re back to where we were in April, more or less: non-essential businesses and nonprofits must cease “in-person activities;” essential businesses (including bicycle repair shops) may operate with restrictions and a reduced workforce; and all New Mexicans “are instructed to shelter in place” save for “the most essential trips for health, safety, and welfare.”

I’d like to give a shoutout to all the fuckwits who have been insisting on strutting around with their faces hanging out, throwing parties, hootenannies, and jamborees, and otherwise acting the fool.

A second shoutout goes to all the poor sods at USPS, UPS, and FedEx who are going to get hernias, sciatica, and flat feet delivering Internet purchases throughout the Land of Enchantment as local retailers suck the bleachy end of a wet mop for the next couple of weeks.

Finally, lo siento mucho to everyone who has to try to enforce this edict, badged or unbadged. I anticipate a few tense moments along the way and a fella can’t find ammo anywhere at any price.

Look for a strong uptick in the online sale of items that do not require a background check or waiting period, such as baseball bats, ax handles, and tire irons.

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22 Responses to “Bang-up job, New Mexico”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    My level of frustration is pretty high over this. The traffic jams in Fanta Se have been back to normal. I feel like I am caught between an autocratic governor’s rock and the hard place of public apathy.

    Wish I had bought your Weirdcliffe joint. Just go and hide in my retirement.

  2. si Little Says:

    Pick handles in memory of Gov. Maddox eh?

  3. Pat O’Brien Says:

    S2D2. As long as we have community spread of the virus, this roller coaster ride will continue. I will protect your right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness if you protect mine. That is the contract for being a US citizen. When you don’t care about my rights, like not wearing a mask, you break the contract and continue to spread the virus. There will be no end to it unless we are cooperate. Reminds me of the Paul Simon song “The Boxer.” “Still a man will hear want he wants to hear and disregard the rest.”

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      But … but … but we have a God-given right to drink our Starbucks indoors, fondle the shootin’ arns at the shop, and then go bowling! And don’t forget Bubba’s wedding. Can’t miss that. There’ll be square dancing and bobbing for apples after!

      Fuck. Me. Running. It all seemed so simple. Wear the mask, don’t be a dick, and wait for the smarties to cobble together a vaccine, so we don’t overload the “health-care system.”

      A buddy told me the other day that his dad had a small stroke and his doc wanted to put him in ICU for a bit, but there was no room at the inn. A couple other pals have cancers and other issues and really, really, really don’t need this shit.

      “Sorry, sport, just go stretch out in the back of your van and we’ll get that IV drip out to you directly. Next!”

    • Pat O’Brien Says:

      It’s hard to care about someone’s rights, when you think they are the enemy. Thanks to the political parties for getting us to this state of American affairs. There is no more win/win thinking any more. It’s one version of war, if someone wins, somebody has got to lose.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

    • khal spencer Says:

      Most community spread is likely due to indoor gatherings based on everything I’ve seen about indoor circulation of The Bug in confined spaces. But here in Fanta Se the roads have been increasingly congested and more and more people are congregating in stores, restaurants, and the like. People having parties for Uncle Mike or Billy Bob. There is a house around the corner clearly being used as a B&B, with different out of state plates every couple weeks. Should I firebomb the place?

      So shutting down bars, restaurants, and indoor malls for a couple weeks makes some sense because we have too many airheads who can’t figure it out for themselves. its a pain in the ass since so many stores located in these malls. We increasingly get paranoid even when food shopping given the community spread and wondering who sneezed on the produce.

      The political overprint is not helping.

      I would avoid any indoor exercise in a public place and stay clear of tennis courts or any any other outdoor space where people congregate in the name of the sacred VO2 Max. Meena hikes in the mountains with a seventy four year old friend and tells me that passing people is rare enough and quick enough, not to mention, people mask up whenever they get withing sight of each other and pass quickly or relinquish the trail whenever possible. I ride the Tierra Trails and maybe see ten people in ten miles. Mask use is intermittent but folks stay away from each other and pass on bikes in well under a second. That kind of intermittent and short contact is not likely to put someone in harm’s way and has strong health and wellness benefits. Unless I meet Halle Berry out on the trail, I’m not gonna throw myself at anyone.

      Good review article here: Do the benefits of exercise in indoor and outdoor environments during the COVID-19 pandemic outweigh the risks of infection?

      • khal spencer Says:

        For example: “…Ana Gonzales has been organizing outdoor, mostly maskless dance sessions for 10 to 15 people in backyards in Santa Fe and held a 20-person party in a graveyard in Madrid on Halloween….”

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        These dance parties sound like The Bug®’s companion disorder, Giant Toddler Syndrome (GTS). “I want what I want when I want it, and fuck all y’all.”

        The link I posted earlier to the story about the Maine wedding turned super-spreader event is a classic example of this sort of thinking.

        Remember the old WWII motto? “Is This Trip Necessary?” I first saw it out of context in Warner Bros.’ “Looney Tunes” cartoons and thought it was high-sterical. Turns out, not so much. The idea was to reduce auto travel to conserve fuel and rubber for the war effort. A little self-sacrifice, don’t you know.

        These days I ask myself that question a lot: Is this trip necessary? Mostly the answer is, “No.” Do I need to motor to Colorado or Arizona for shits and giggles? Nope. Do I need to hang around a bike shop, bullshitting with the staff and clientele? Nope. Do I need to think my Deep Thoughts in a coffee shop over an Americano and a MacBook? Nope. Do I need a plate of enchiladas from El Patio?

        Well, yes, actually. But also nope. I can cook my own enchiladas. They’re not nearly as good, but hey — that’s where the sacrifice comes in, amirite?

        • khal spencer Says:

          For a while my standard line has been to minimize trips, ostensibly because more motor trips mean more CO2. That’s one reason virtually all of my bike rides start and finish in the garage rather than with the bike on the roof rack. Lately I have to run the car a few times a month just to ensure the battery is charged. I should see if I still have a battery tender in the garage.

          Living in BombTowne for seventeen years taught us to do all our own cooking since there were no decent restaurants in town. Funny thing. All that money and no amenities up there, which is why Meena wanted to flee the place. We were thrilled with the idea of fine Fanta Se Dining but woe to us, The Bug hit after we had been here a little under two years. Therefore, its back to the Ma and Pa Diner. Fortunately, we too are both pretty decent chefs. But it must suck to have had a job depending on the tourist trade or people dining out. I feel for those folks. We passed on all our Free Money to the Food Depot, the local shelters, and several animal causes.

          The social contractions do hurt, as that ncbi link attests. Its been weeks since I stopped by to shoot the shit with the guys at The Outdoorsman of Santa Fe and I’ve kept my bullshitting at Rob and Charlie’s to the bare necessities: “hey, do youse guys have a bell that will fit on my handlebars and where the heck are the patch kits?”

          Bike shops will be open, thankfully, as essential businesses but, with 25 percent occupancy, will probably kindly show the door to those who want to run their mouths instead of their wallets. I’ll put pads over my ass….

          If they need volunteers for beta testing a Bug Vaccine, I’ll put my hand up. The sooner we get a cure for this shit, the better off we all will be.

        • Patrick O'Grady Says:

          Moving from Fanta Se to Bibleburg in 1992, coupled with an appalling drop in income, pushed me down the road toward cookery. Weirdcliffe kicked it into high gear. On that wind-scoured rockpile we were a 110-mile round trip from decent groceries. And forget about the restaurants. Cook or starve, my son.

          Weirdcliffe also taught me to shop carefully. You didn’t want to be missing a key ingredient up there, because you couldn’t just hop in the truck and go get it … not in less than three hours, anyway.

          • khal spencer Says:

            Where was the nearest shopping mecca? Walsenburg, Pueblor, or Salida?

          • Patrick O'Grady Says:

            Pueblo was easiest. A straight shot down Hardscrabble Cañon through Wetmore. King Soopers was usually the best bet; eventually Pee-ebb-blow got a Vitamin Cottage-Natural Grocers over on the northeast side of town.

            For serious disco eats it was Bibleburg and either the Whole Paycheck (north end) or Wild Oats (far east side). That was a 150-mile U-turn, and more of a pain in the ass. But you got better grub out of it. I threw a couple Igloos under the camper shell for perishables.

          • khal spencer Says:

            Los Alamos just got a Vitamin Cottage/Natural Grocers. Hopefully it will force Smith’s to up the ante but I grieve for the BombTowne Co-op, getting squeezed by both.

  4. Herb from Michigan Says:

    In need of some fixins for the ranchero I nipped into the local, family owned lumberyard. Was astonished to enter the front door and see two classic Trumper type customers without masks. Before taking another step I looked over at the main counter and there were five employees behind it with no masks. Spun on my heels out of there straight to Home Depo where everyone I saw was masked and the cashiers were asking you to step away while they used remote readers to ring you up. From their parking lot I called the lumberyard and told the woman who answered that I just spent $210 at the dreaded big box store and why. She said “well it goes both ways sir, we have many who tell us they like our freedom policy”. I responded by letting her know that my next project will probably hit $35000 and they won’t get a goddamn penny of it. I implore everyone to vote with your wallet but also to call, write or even use the dreaded social media to let them know you and others won’t stand for their horse shit.

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