Take me up; cast me away

Behold Exchequer, given to me by the Lady of the Other Home Office, on the condition that I fulfill any request she might make, the first and foremost of these being that I not use this magical weapon to acquire any more expensive, useless bullshit, f’chrissakes, can you do that for me, hon’? Pretty please?

Another Black Friday passeth without my being compelled by bitter circumstance and/or simple covetousness to draw the mighty card, Exchequer, from its ripstop scabbard. The realm remains unencumbered by debt and grails.

16 thoughts on “Take me up; cast me away

    1. Survived Vendredi du Noir but did some damage on Samedi des Petites Entreprises. Tried to pick businesses that I know are hurting. Looks like the neighbors are getting gift cards from local food trucks that are losing business because the small breweries are all curbside-only. Ordered from the Old Firehouse Books, just cuz I love their delivery service. And my east coast family will be getting some NOCO ales if I can figure out that unnecessarily complicated UI.

      Tomorrow is Small Craft Sunday, so I’m told. Assuming they don’t mean dinghies, bass fishing, or pontoon boats, but you never know.

      1. I bought a couple books today from Page 1, our neighborhood bookstore. Easy breezy: order and pay online; wait for the email; drive over and phone, then put on your mask; and hey presto! Another masked book lover brings you your books.

        There’s even a grog shop next door. If that ain’t heaven. …

        1. Ain’t much better than a mom and pop book store.

          Great place to hang out and pollute your mind with impure thoughts about how the world should be.

        2. Man, I miss bookstores. The Tattered Cover in Denver was awesome. Likewise Chinook in downtown Bibleburg. City Lights in San Francisco. Collected Works in Fanta Se.

          Here in the Duke City it’s Page 1 and Bookworks over on Rio Grande.

          When I met Herself she was running the B. Dalton Bookseller at DeVargas Mall. We love us some books.

          1. Double-checked my Firehouse order, saw they have a Go Fund Me trying to get through the winter.

            Didn’t have to be this way. But half the country thinks we’re doing fine.

  1. Father, I confess. On Black Friday, I biked out to a bike shop to look for a bell for the Ti bike. Not finding any that fit, I found a cheap one in the garage and with a couple zip ties, Bob’s yer uncle!

    No greenbacks were employed in the production of that caper.

        1. So many jokes …

          (Quint looks at the big brass bell) You’re going to need a bigger bike.

          Sir Mix-a-Lot: I like big bells and I cannot lie …

          (Punk on a Huffy walks up to Crocodile Dundee, rings his little bell. ). “You call that a bike bell?”
          (Dundee gets off his bike, rings his Spurcycle) “THIS is a bike bell.”

  2. I have an original and first gen Spurcycle bell that I have to be careful with. I’ve seen pedestrians almost climb trees when I get within earshot of them. It will even penetrate earbud-wandering walkers and riders listening no doubt to Concrete Blonde. Trouble is, my microwave timer makes the same exact tone as the Spurcycle so I’ve been known to run for cover myself if She Who Must Be Obeyed is heating up her coffee. It’s a helluva life living in fear…

    1. I forgot about the Spurcycle. I have one of those on the Nobilette and it will cut through the ambient noise like a katana through Crisco.

      But that Crane bell is likewise an earsplitter. It sounds like the bell that tolls for thee.

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