Nocturnal emissions

The view from the guest bedroom at 5:34 a.m.

“It’s a winter wonderland!” Herself sang as I flung open the bedroom door, growling like an elderly bear, a hitch in my gitalong after a night of imperfect sleep.

Son of a bitch. Right again. No wonder they pay her the big bucks.

Happily, neither of us has to take our chances on the Duke City streets this fine frosty morning. Herself continues to work from home in Year Two of the Plague, and I am a senior citizen on a fixed income who doesn’t have to do jack shit other than sit on his arse, bitching about this and that, while waiting for Uncle Sugar to give with the free money.

I’ve seen two fine auto crashes in the past two days. The first was on Tramway near Comanche; a Honda Element and some other vehicle came to grief in the southbound lanes as I was cycling northward on Sunday. The second ate up two northbound lanes on Juan Tabo near Lomas on Monday, as I was taking the Fearsome Furster in for an emissions check and re-registration.

The  emissions tester was a man unhappy in his work, probably because he was freezing his nuts off in his tiny shed, which let the bitter southeastern wind roll in with each customer. Nevertheless, he and the State conspired to rob me of a couple hundy for the dubious privilege of courting death on the mean streets of the Land of Enchantment in a 16-year-old rice grinder, and then we were both in a bad mood.

I won’t take my brand-new sticker out for a spin today, thanks all the same. We have already established that my neighbors can’t keep the shiny side up on a sunny day, and I’ve just paid in advance for two years’ worth of happy motoring.

Anyway, it’s cold out there. Colder than a gut-shot bitch wolf dog with nine sucking pups pulling a number-four trap up a hill in the dead of winter in the middle of a snowstorm with a mouth full of porcupine quills. …

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20 Responses to “Nocturnal emissions”

  1. Charley Says:

    Great photo! I feel sorry for the wolf dog, tough life.

  2. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Same shit down here. The other side of life in the high country, heh?

  3. B Lester Says:

    My 40 mile commute through five fresh inches was slow, if uneventful. There will be 4-ish more by the time I go home. The authorities in Wisconsin are pretty nimble. Even the two lane country highways are passable.

    By the way, aren’t we close to the midpoint twixt the solstice and the equinox? Next week? Gotta look forward to something.

  4. mike w. Says:

    What an image of Lupine misery!

  5. khal spencer Says:

    Nice picture, but that last paragraph is painful to read.

    I had to go up to the Bomb Factory today to teach an in-person class in the Cone of Silence. Three inches of snow at the house in Fanta Se, so I shoveled the walk and swept off the cars. The trip up was uneventful, albeit a little slower than usual. I don’t fancy getting the Forester sideways, impaled on a guard rail, or upside-down at 70 mph and what little other traffic agreed on that point so we all dialed it back a notch or three on the snow-covered 84-285 and NM 502. Hope to get home in one piece as well.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Mr. Waits has a way with words, does he not? A weird way, but a way nonetheless.

      From the same tune:

      Well, the dawn cracked hard just like a bullwhip
      Cause it wasn’t taking no lip from the night before
      And it shook out the streets, as the stew bums showed up
      Like bounced checks, rubbing their necks
      And the sky turned the color of Pepto-Bismol
      Yeah, and the parking lots growled
      My old sport coat full of promissory notes
      And a receipt from a late night motel
      The hawk had his whole family out there in the wind
      And he got a message for you to beware
      Kicking your ass in, in a cold-blooded fashion
      And dishing out more than a good man can bear

      Well done keeping it down to a safe and sane 69 mph en route to Bombtowne.

  6. Shawn Says:

    Wow. That’s a fine cold descriptor. Although I think you forgot the frozen snot running off the end of her snout.

    Fresh untracked snow. If only you had been out at say, 2 AM, you could have made a single track yourself before powered vehicles mess it all up. My neighbor caught me out riding once – Not visually but she made the deduction the next morning after seeing bike tracks in the snow going down the road, and their entry and exit into my driveway.

    No snow out here on our plateau above the river. Rumor has it that we will get a few flakes sometime soon.

  7. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Nice song and a good flick. The sun is out!

    • Dale Says:

      Watching Jimmy Cliff and thinking about Bob Marley made me consider the impossibiliy of the Jamiacan bobsled team. Yet they made a team and were able to compete.
      “Critics were stunned when they finished in 14th place, ahead of the United States, Russia, Australia, and France. At the 2000 World Push in Monaco the team won the gold medal. … The two-man bobsled team qualified for the 2014 Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia.”
      If we put aside the bobsled results, Jamaica had big balls to try.

  8. Pat O’Brien Says:

    Well, in order to balance my last post there is news on a subject that we discussed, or cussed, on a previous post, former president pensions and perks. This might sour your mood, so read with caution.

    https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-impeachment-benefits-explai/explainer-why-trumps-post-presidency-perks-like-a-pension-and-office-are-safe-for-the-rest-of-his-life-idUSKBN29W238

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Yeah, that had been my thinking on the topic. They had to impeach, convict, and remove before he left on his own to cut off the pension and bennies. I’m still hopeful that various state agencies will hound him into insolvency and/or an early grave. What sucks is he’ll be defending himself with our money.

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