An Unhappy Meal for Impeachy the Clown

We’re all bozos on this bus. Some of us more than others.

Well, I see the SS boys couldn’t keep Impeachy the Clown away from the TV all day yesterday, not even with hourly delivery of Happy Meals soaked in Thorazine.

No, he got word that his Name was being taken in vain, and he clenched his tiny fists and screeched like a gassy toddler, ordering aides to paint iguanas with the names “Raskin,” “Neguse,” and “Castor,” then biting off their heads. The iguanas, not the aides.

The House managers made Impeachy’s second-string legal team look like a couple of drunks pulled randomly from stools at Mar-a-Lago’s 19th hole. Their arguments for not going to trial were basically:

He didn’t do it.

Free speech! He was just sayin’, y’know?

Missed him, missed him, now you gotta kiss him!

Partisan Democrats!

Etc.

The Democrats said: “Let’s go to the tape!” Of which there was plenty.

Jesus H., etc. The writers at “SNL” can take this week off. They can just run with the transcript on this one. Maybe get Horny the Organic Shaman to do the cold open.

I know, I know; Impeachy’s tools could go full-on Clarence Darrow or just sit there and mumble “Fuck you” to everything the House managers say. The outcome is preordained.

But if they ever want to get honest work Castor and Schoen are going to need some more time at the practice tee. And they’ll get it, too. Impeachy is going to stiff them for this shit, and they’re gonna have to sue his fat ass for nonpayment, like everybody else.

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4 Responses to “An Unhappy Meal for Impeachy the Clown”

  1. Chris Coursey Says:

    I thought for sure you’d be posting this morning about S Clay Wilson. Capt Pissgum and his Pervert Pirates are much more entertaining than Cadet Bonespurs and his Dimwit Lawyers.

    Chris

    >

  2. Pat O’Brien Says:

    They were the only ones who would answer the dumpster’s phone call. But, he will get acquitted and continue to pull his shit. And social media addled dimwits will still buy. And Jake his lucky that cop who tried to stop him in the capitol building kept his cool. Lots of cops, and perhaps justifiably so, would have seen the spear he had, told him to stop and drop it, and when he advanced, shot him. I would have tased the shit out of him. Literally.

  3. khal spencer Says:

    And down in Georgia….

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