Imagine my surprise. The douchenozzle suspected of driving his Ford pick-’em-up into the masters race at Bike the Bluff in Arizona apparently has a history of overly happy motoring, among other things, reports The Associated Press.
Courtesy Arizona Department of Corrections.
Shawn Michael Chock, 35, has quite the rap sheet, according to Maricopa County’s online records. Some gentle soul matching his name and age has been fucking up like a champ since 2007: Aggravated assault, disorderly conduct with a weapon, three DUI-related charges, shoplifting, and violating parole, before finally doing a year and a half in the stripey hole beginning in May 2013.
Maybe he wanted to go back? Some people like it in the joint, I hear. I didn’t care for my one overnight stay in Denver City-County, but there’s no accounting for taste. Could be he’s the Aryan Brotherhood’s version of the Brown Truck Dude and got the word that his kindred needed a buttload of one thing or another.
“Just get your ass in here, Shawn, we don’t care how. Earl needs a cellphone.”
Perhaps he wanted to appeal his case to St. Peter? Didn’t quite make it to the Pearly Gates, did he? But then that Ford of his was full of bike parts and bullet holes and neither it nor Shawn was rolling all that well there at the end.
Meanwhile, we have a half-dozen cyclists in various hospitals around the Southwest who probably would like to know why the hell this had to happen to them. We’ll all know more than we care to before long, I expect.
Tags: Bike the Bluff
Mad Blog Media 
June 21, 2021 at 4:52 pm |
Figures. Now I wonder if the pickup was stolen.
On a better note, my guitar mentor Alan and I, including the smarter halves of course, scored 4th row seats to see Tommy Emmanuel this November at the Fox Theater in Tucson.
June 21, 2021 at 7:33 pm |
That should be a high ol’ time. Tommy pickin’ and all y’all grinnin’.
June 21, 2021 at 5:07 pm |
Dirtbag. But why I am always a bit insecure on busy roads and why I dislike bike groups on major roads. I’m all for protected bike routes.
I spent a night in jail in Southwest Africa (now Namibia) but that was just because the cops took pity on me and let me have a free bed. They didn’t lock the door, and dinner was a nice Russian potato salad smothered in caviar – for about $1
June 21, 2021 at 7:31 pm |
Yeah, I get antsy in a group these days. I’m OK with my own behavior, but who knows what someone else is liable to do on a whim that gets my tit caught in a wringer? That’s how I wound up in jail.
June 21, 2021 at 6:06 pm |
Ooohh, a skinhead? But no tattoos.
Sounds like AZ has the same revolving door, cop a plea, and get in line for recidivism system we have in the Land of Disenchantment. Mr. Chock sounds like he richly deserved the hot lead enema, as I said the other day.
I want to know what this turd says was his reason for what he did. Back on Long Island in the 1980’s, the rednecks called those of us who wore Protogs and lycra “fags” or worse. My friend Chuck (the guy with the Eisentraut bike we all lusted after) called the Middle Island Moraine, where we sometimes did hills, the White Trash Mountains. There is always someone to hate you. Difference is that nowadays, there seems to be little daylight between thought and action.
June 21, 2021 at 7:25 pm |
That’s a state DoC pic, so I’m thinking maybe intake from 2013? Before Earl carved the swastika in his ass after lights-out.
June 21, 2021 at 8:24 pm |
As Ted Rogers (Biking in LA) is wont to say, this is what happens when you let multiple DUI have access to motor vehicles
June 21, 2021 at 8:57 pm |
Was he drunk or just being an asshole? I guess if you set the bar too low, it doesn’t really matter.
June 23, 2021 at 5:12 pm |
At least one report said that he was drunk at the time of the wreck.
Still looking for verification of his BAC at the time, I assume someone made the blood draw while he was in the ER for that bullethole.
June 22, 2021 at 3:30 pm |
Speaking of drunken assholes, how about this fella, a Burqueño who got a little too lively for the Rainbow Family up at Taos? Someone explain to me how a dude like this gets released on bond instead of enjoying the hospitality of the State until trial?
June 22, 2021 at 4:12 pm |
Its New Mexico. With his fifth DWI, he gets a free state lottery ticket. Seems We the People are getting what we deserve after that vote to “reform” the bail laws.
June 22, 2021 at 7:54 am |
One of the riders interviewed said the douche accelerated on his way across the road to get the group. What’s the appropriate amount of suffering for this asshole?
On another note, the Tour of America’s Dairyland is in progress. Stages two and three were held to great acclaim in downtown Janesville, Wisc. last Thursday and Friday. The ToAD resumed after last year’s cancellation, and a couple of venues opted out for the year, so we got two days of racing. They ran the criterium “dogbone” course clockwise on one day, and counterclockwise the next. It was a great party atmosphere. Ms. L and I saw the women’s and men’s Pro races on Friday and ran into a large number of friends and neighbors. The event continues to grow in popularity each year.
June 22, 2021 at 4:22 pm |
“that gets my tit caught in a wringer?” That is an old Hoosier expression I haven’t heard in many years. One of Dad’s favs along with “just cause he looks dumber than hell don’t mean he ain’t “
June 22, 2021 at 4:48 pm |
That’s a classic. Nobody even knows what a wringer is anymore, or how one might catch a tit in it.
Your dad’s other fave is a keeper too. I love regional speech, much of which has been gradually whittled away by radio, TV, and the Innertubes.
Here’s some Texican sayings you might find amusing. Them fellers at Texas Monthly could talk the legs off a chair.
June 22, 2021 at 5:34 pm |
“Nobody even knows what a wringer is anymore, or how one might catch a tit in it.”
Except we old farts. My grandmother had a wringer washer as her daily driver when I was a squirt. It lived in the basement, which was their Hamburg, NY home until grandpa finished building the house. He was amazingly industrious. Was in the Eye-talian merchant marine and somehow got over here. Worked in the Tonawanda Chevy plant, built his own house, and kept a half acre garden on the side. He was amazingly industrious. But when prostate cancer got him, he put himself out of his misery with a bottle of sleeping pills.
I remember that old washing machine well. Yep, you had to hand-feed stuff into it and not get one’s own clothing or body parts in the way. I’m sure the modern day safety Nazis would never approve.
My mom inherited it until she convinced the old man that if he knew what was good for him, he’d buy her one of those newfangled automatic washers that came to the Sears stores in the sixties. He came through. Not sure what happened to that old wringer washer. I think it disappeared along with Grandma’s treadle Singer sewing machine.
June 22, 2021 at 5:37 pm |
https://www.redfin.com/NY/Hamburg/5441-Maelou-Dr-14075/home/73173144
June 23, 2021 at 5:40 am |
My grandmother had a wringer washing machine in the kitchen – along with a wood/oil stove for cooking and heat. There was an oil heater in the living room as well with a huge glass bottle you filled like an office water cooler
She had a housekeeper (the only member of my family to ever have live-in staff) but she did live at home into her 90s. The housekeeper (who wasn’t much younger) had a bad left arm as a result of a wringer washing machine incident as a child. So the threat was real
I still have a pair of 30 year old Maytags that do a wash and dry in an hour. I hate the new front-loaders that take forever (2 hour wash?) and then lie about how long is left. They also go moldy in various places. Ugh
June 22, 2021 at 8:50 pm |
Don’t forget my favorite from my days living in Georgia. “Tighter than a gnat’s ass stretched over a rain barrel.” Now, that’s tight!
June 23, 2021 at 4:54 am |
i never understood ‘tighter than dick’s hatband’. who is dick? and did he have issues with his hat blowing off?
June 23, 2021 at 5:27 pm
That was a reference to the glans as dick’s hat, and the fact that it never came off because of how tight the hatband was.
June 24, 2021 at 7:08 am
i never would have guess that.
June 24, 2021 at 9:27 am
And now you’ll never be able to get the image out of your head. Mind. Whatever.
June 24, 2021 at 10:56 am
especially when i hear my grandma say it