But seriously, folks. …

Windscreen trumps Mac screen.

Read the news or ride the bike?

I think you know the answer to that one.

In fact, the news has been so reliably vile lately that I’ve been logging 100-mile-plus weeks. That’s not a lot for a serious cyclist, but then being serious about anything other than humor is overrated for anyone who hopes to remain (or become) happy. Or so says Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic.

I’d like to ask him, “Are you serious?” But I’m afraid he might not laugh.

Meanwhile, the fourth and final round of The Visitation, scheduled for next week, has been canceled. One of Herself the Elder’s nieces decided that travel was too risky since Delta started grabbing everyone by the snotlocker with a downhill pull.

And who can blame her? Not me, Skeezix. When I stroll into a retail op to do a little bidness and see two-thirds of the clientele and half the staff wandering around with their faces hanging out, despite headlines like this, I’m inclined to think that The Dumbass, like The Bug, remains very much among us.

The Dumbass just might be worse than The Bug. We have weapons to fight The Bug, if people will simply agree to use them. But our traditional defenses against The Dumbass — like the news, which under new management has other priorities — no longer seem efficacious, if they ever were.

And once you’re all eat up with The Dumbass, you’re vulnerable to any number of opportunistic infections, from Rand Paul and Marjorie Taylor Greene twerking on “Dancing with the Stars” to “More [guns, coal mines, lifted diesel pick-’em-up trucks, insert your favorite idiocy here]!!!”

Jesus H., etc. By the time Bennu finally lands like an errant tee shot from God’s one-iron there won’t be anybody left to take it seriously, or even humorously. OK, so maybe one guy. He’ll be yelling “FAKE NEWS!” as the giant asteroid comes in hot like the fabled Million-Pound Shithammer.

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30 Responses to “But seriously, folks. …”

  1. Charley Says:

    A Seriously disgusting environment we seem to be in. Has the school systems really been that terrible? Scary.

  2. khal spencer Says:

    One third of a mile? Shit, that’s not enough to hit the Update/Restart button, but it could take out Texas.

  3. Shawn Says:

    “Where were you when Bennu hit? I was at Bennie Hannahs eating bento sushi with their special hatch chile sauce.”

    What? Not funny? Ok but I bet I got a couple of you to chuckle a little.

    Did I tell you about the time I decided to go out and get ready for a company golf tournament that I was assigned to play in? I thought that I’d take advantage of going to a driving range and seeing if I could actually launch a few balls. When I got there the attendant asked me what size I wanted. I was caught off guard and asked him “Is there more than one size of ball now?” He of course was asking me about the basket size of balls. I bet your laughing now. I sure was then to cover my momentary lapse of knowledge. Fortunately I caught my guffaw quick enough that I pulled it off as a joke. Yep, timing is everything.

    Did you hear about Katie C’s motor? What, too soon? Actually I like her a lot and BELIEVE that she is innocent. But then there are recorded beliefs that I have had about spiked cyclists that ended up being incorrect.

    I hope the air’s clear and the breeze is cool where you are all at.

    Cheers and chuckles to all!

    • carl duellman Says:

      that’s crazy about kfc. i thought she had retired a few years ago but i kept seeing her at the races. if she was doping it sure didn’t show. i don’t recall seeing here anywhere near the front.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Yeah, I saw the news about Katie. I like her too. She’s always been approachable by the little people, accommodating to cycling scribes, definitely a fierce competitor, but doesn’t seem the type to cut corners like this.

      I remember bumping into her at Coaltrain Liquors in B-burg once. I saw this woman with a few bottles of wine headed for the register, thought I recognized her, figured she wouldn’t recognize me, and said, “Katie? Hi, Patrick O’Grady, I do this and that for VeloNews.

      She sez hi, looks down at the armload of vino, shrugs, and sez to me she sez, “It’s the off-season.”

      I hope she was racing clean. But how can you know for sure? It’s one of the reasons I don’t follow racing anymore. You just can’t know.

    • Pat O’Brien Says:

      I believe her.

  4. JD Says:

    As Oscar Wilde said: “Life’s too important to be taken seriously.”

    And someone(s) else said: “Ignorance can be educated. Crazy can be medicated. But there is no cure for stupid.”

    Keep the faith … rubber side down …. Rule No 1 is FUN! 🙂

  5. Pat O’Brien Says:

    To riff on Bontrager, Dumbasses are selfish, ignorant or stupid. Pick two.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Also, soon to be choosing between FreeDumb® and employment/entertainment, says Kevin Drum:

      This is how it’s going to happen. States, unfortunately, won’t put broad mandates in place, so it’s going to happen bit by bit. The military will get mandatory vaccinations. Federal employees will get mandatory vaccinations. New job openings will require vaccinations. Foreign travel will require vaccinations. Getting into sports events will require vaccinations. Etc.

      • khal spencer Says:

        I suspect mandatory vaccination will be near universal once the FDA blesses these vaccines.

        • Pat O’Brien Says:

          I don’t think it will change the minds of anyone who hasn’t yet been vaccinated.

          • khal spencer Says:

            Might not change their minds, but getting fired at work might be a subtle form of encouragement.

          • Patrick O'Grady Says:

            In the Shenandoah Valley, some nurses are saying, “So sack me already.” And loudly, too.

            Over to Wisconsin Public Radio, law prof James Hodge has a few thoughts on vaccine mandates, whether ordered by governments or businesses, and whether anti-vaxxers should be shielded via anti-discrimination laws. Surprise: He anticipates litigation.

          • Pat O’Brien Says:

            Justice Barrett already refused this type of case, and the full court will not even consider it. Full FDA approval, as Khal notes above, will put even more teeth into vaccine mandates. As far a government mandates for employees, including military members, the law is clear, comply or be fired or discharged, most likely dishonorably, from employment. The only individual refusal that would stick would be a valid medical reason to refuse.

          • Patrick O'Grady Says:

            I’m afraid Barrett will not have the final word here. As Kevin Drum noted, this will be a painfully long process, one that involves public and private institutions, and legal and extralegal means. Barrett will not be the assistant manager facing down the enraged red cap who says he don’t give a shit what 7-Eleven says, his Glock 17 tells him he don’t gotta wear no goddamn mask to buy a rotisserie weenie and a Big Gulp.

          • Pat O’Brien Says:

            Right you are on that one. The Barret refusal was about students challenging a vaccine requirement for attending college. The mask war will continue until further notice.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        It makes a bent kind of sense. I mean, pretty much everybody has to pass a drugs screen to get a job nowadays, yeah? A mine operator up near Trinidad was lamenting recently that he was having to reject any number of qualified would-be employees because they were all crazed on reefer.

        No doubt some red-capped, home-schooled “lawyer” can explain to me how one’s constitutional FreeDumb® is shredded by a vaccine mandate but not by a drugs screen.

  6. Charley Says:

    I hope Khal is right.

  7. SAO' Says:

    This fucking hurt.

    Nanci Griffith, Singer Who Blended Folk and Country, Dies at 68

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Sad indeed. I was only a casual listener, via various NPR stations; I recall some of her work with John Prine and The Chieftains. Man, Prine had the great good fortune to work with a ton of talented women. I need to thumb through her catalogue.

      • SAO' Says:

        She maybe had the best version of success one can have. Sold enough albums to pay the mortgage, not so many that she couldn’t walk around town without getting mobbed. And played with just about everyone. She gigged with the usual suspects like Emmylou, Dolly, and Roseanne, but also an occasional Counting Crow or U2’er.

        David Letterman was a fan, and that guy doesn’t get enough credit for supporting quirky artists and bands who didn’t fit neatly into one category

    • Pat O’Brien Says:

      I keep missing these great musicians. Trying to catch up, but there are so many tunes. I hope to hell and back that it wasn’t COVID that put put that light.

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