Many treats, no tricks

Behold the Red Punkin.

Man, am I ever glad I doubled up on the sugar stash. We had a veritable thundering herd of trick-or-treaters last night.

We had been thinking that turnout would be on a par with 2020 — basically, the kids in the cul-de-sac and their minders. But some Voice from the Other World suggested I snatch up a couple more bags of goodies when I was in the store the other day. And as soon as I locate a Ouija board I’ll thank him/her/it for the tip, because the little goblins started hitting the doorbell at dusk and didn’t quit until we croaked the lights at 9 p.m.

Maybe it was the light show. Ordinarily we just plug in the Not-So-Great Pumpkin, set it in my office window, and call it good. But this year I gave it some bush-league mad-scientist backup, planting six bicycle taillights around it to add an eerie red glow: three big Busch-Müller jobs that cast a steady light, and three smaller Cygolites set to “Zoom” mode. Muah haah haaaaaah.

More likely it was just some cabin-feverish parents deciding to air out their munchkins for a couple hours. “No, we’re not watching ‘Frozen II’ again. Now put on this Wonder Woman costume and let’s go make your dentist crazy.”

Whatever. It fairly made my shrunken black knuckle of a heart go all pitter-pat. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. You get to be somebody else for a day, or at least part of a night, and who doesn’t want to climb out of his or her boring ol’ skin for a spell at least once a year?

With all the evil news-droppings poisoning our spiritual wells day in and day out, it was comforting to see that we can still trust each other a little bit, share a moment now and again.

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. … oh, wow, Mom, Snickers!”

28 thoughts on “Many treats, no tricks

  1. Got slammed up here, too. Usually I buy too much and end up taking it to work or one of the local shelters. Last night we were down to our last handful when the kids finally stopped coming.

    I think it was a reaction to last year’s lockdown. Everyone and their dog wanted to be out this year.

  2. Madhouse here, and only barely slowed down when the sleet started.

    Kids tired of being locked in, seems to be the explanation.

    Both of our kiddos came home, unmasked, and said, that was the best halloween ever. Didn’t even touch their candy, just happy about walking the Ville.

      1. Gotta hand it to the Church’s ability to play the long game. Co-opt the natives holiday by moving their own to the local date, then wait 2-300 years to see if it works. If not, move another and see what happens.

        1. Bravo! Wonderful summation. As a survivor of nine years of parochial school in the fifties and early sixties, taught almost exclusively by Irish nuns fresh off the boat, I know whereof you speak.

  3. I stopped by one of our local grocery stores yesterday and picked up a couple of bags of factory processed sugar and pseudo-chocolate. I was surprised that they had any. In my town they put out Christmas items before Halloween so normally all the Halloween stuff is gone. But somebody in distribution must have fouled up this year (probably last year’s candy was sent out as well) because there was a lot of candy for sale.

    I put out a few old lighted pumpkins on a stick (no Jeff Dunham jokes from me), some candles, a couple of flying bats and a real live CO2 spewing candle lit Jack-O-Lantern. We had infinitely more tricker critters this year versus last. Since last year we had no critters, infinite can be just about any number. But the little 4 and 5 -ish girl and boy that stopped by were very gracious. We live on a street up the hill in a quiet location so adding in a Sunday night, I was delighted with the critters we got. I buy dark chocolate candy for Halloween so any that is left over, I enjoy over the holidays.

    It seems wasteful to not enjoy my fine Jack-O-Lantern, so I might light him up again tonight. Maybe I’ll stick him in our fireplace and turn out the lights to give a nice ambiance.

    1. I miss having an actual jack-o’-lantern, but the hungry critters around here (and back in B-burg) just wipe ’em out.

      Buying good chocolate is a sound practice. Back in the Day® we found ourselves sending surplus candy to work with Herself, whose colleagues would eat anything.

  4. “Shrunken black knuckle of a heart” and “evil news droppings” are good enough to steal; I will restrain myself from doing so. In writing anyway. Way to go language wrangler!

    1. Perhaps a nice, cul-de-sac neighborhood with a trail head around the corner has mellowed the Mad Dog? Instead of Mad Dog Media we might have Cuddly Pup Press in the future. We have acquired some special friends here in gated geezerville. It has changed me for the better.

    2. It’s a good ’hood. Comfy but not snooty. Having three sets of kids in the cul-de-sac helps keep all of us young.

      Well, maybe not their parents and grandparents. Those folks gots to do the bidness, and it will put hard miles on your map.

  5. Speaking of “evil news droppings,” coal joe just walked away from the build back better dance. Sinema has gone underground. And, the UN climate summit has become a world class smoke and mirror show.

      1. I thought a chad was a fish. I guess hanging chads is what deSantis and his buddies want when they arrive back from their fishing charter into the port of Orlando.

    1. I lost count, but I’m gonna guesstimate our bunch at 50-plus. Wide range of ages and flavors. The ones who kill me are the really little tykes who sumo-waddle up to the candy bowl and give you a look like, “Seriously? I don’t gotta pay or nothin’? Is my mom watching? ’Cause I’m going in with both hands.”

  6. My Trick or Treater count was DOWN significantly from pre-pandemic years. I live in a condo, which I quickly learned are gold mines for children who hate to walk. I usually would receive 120-150 kids; this year it was only 64.

    And I DO hand out the good stuff: FULL-SiZED candy bars! I’m no dummy; I buy what I like so I can eat the leftovers and boy, do I have to start working on it.

    I also like to do something special each year. This year I handed out toothbrushes along with the M&Ms. and yes, they were well received. One kid only wanted the toothbrush, to my dismay.

  7. Not a Tricker nor a Treater at our house last night. Guess we’ll be locking up the remaining candy for another year (already 3 yrs. old). Something about being near the end of a dark dead end street might have something to do with that. But a block down, there were waves and waves of them. The collective noun for many tricksters is a “tribe.” Really. I looked it up. Free tip: don’t eat the candy corn.

    1. We had similar issues in Bibleburg, where Chez Dog sat on a dark stretch of side street. We’d see the merry throngs working Corona and Royer but it took a kid with stones to ring our doorbell.

      “That’s where the baldheaded dude lives. Doesn’t have a job. Rides a bike around all the time. There’s something wrong with that guy.”

  8. Hey I just read that a smart youngster from your neck of the rocks developed a better paperclip for generating anti-prime numbers. I wonder if he got that idea when considering how to analyze the vacant space that exists between the ears of a previous world leader/ clown.

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