Winter is coming?

I’ve put more white powder than that up me snout on a weeknight.

I know, I know — don’t tempt the Fates, never let your blog write a check that your ass can’t cash, and so on and so forth.

But sheeeeeyit: You call this “snow?”

The Bread Box is baked.

The appalling lack of precipitation aside, it was not so warm outside today, and not so hot inside, either.

Our $20 garage-sale bread machine seems to have toasted itself after a year of medium-heavy use, churning out a bleak pan of something one might expect to find in the toilet at a dive bar on St. Paddy’s Day if the menu featured a questionable shepherd’s pie and some heavily stepped-on blow.

Thing is, y’see, I have about 20 pounds of Bob’s Red Mill whole wheat flour on hand. So I may be forced to learn how to bake bread the way me forefathers did, only without the dubious advantage of being knee-walking drunk.

Or I could just buy another Toastmaster on eBay.

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11 Responses to “Winter is coming?”

  1. JD Says:

    Geesh, PO’G: Twenty pounds of Bob’s Red Mill sounds like at least 20 loaves of some sort of bread. Perhaps his Gluten Free Monkey Bread as a palate-cleansing and tantalizing alternative to the “questionable shepherd’s pie and some heavily stepped-on blow” fodder you mentioned?
    OR …. try this one. https://bakingamoment.com/soft-whole-wheat-bread/
    Muy delicioso! 🙂

  2. khal spencer Says:

    We have a Kitchen Aid, bought used many years ago and still ticking, which we use to make pretty good pizza dough. Wonder if we could make bread in it.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Our first Toastmaster croaked in almost exactly the same fashion as this one. Coincidence? Terrorism? We may never know.

      The gang at The Wirecutter likes this model. But last I checked I didn’t have a gig at The New York Times with a paycheck to match. So we may be giving that one a miss.

  3. John A Levy Says:

    if you have a pizza stone heat it up and use the le creuset dutch oven body as a lid. makes a nice bolle or a great whole wheat pizza crust. bought a 6 qt Kitchen aid mixer makes great dough for focaccia and I use bread machine yeast to make cinnamon rolls dough. it works great to make a slow rising dough.

  4. Pat O’Brien Says:

    Baking is science. That’s some scary shit. But, I do love me some home baked whole wheat bread. Is it time to get brave in the kitchen? Hell no, I spend enough time in there as it is.

  5. Libby Says:

    Happy New Year to all!
    Get another used Toastmaster. You liked it and it was reliable. The expensive one seems like overkill but if you are intrigued get it! My two cents. You have said you only need slices for toast in the morning.
    Perhaps you will make bread from scratch once in awhile. But, as you already do most of the cooking – and from scratch – that is a lot of time in the kitchen. Including sticking around the house while the bread bakes in the oven and you watch the weather and figure out if you can ride or run.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Back at you, Libby. Herself found another Toastmaster on eBay for chump change and we snatched it up. What the hell, why not? We need our toast in the morning, and as you note, I already spend a fair amount of time in the kitchen.

      I’m gonna have a go at Bittman’s bread, I think, just as a science experiment. But I don’t really trust our decades-old ovens for fine work at high temperatures.

      The Japanese bread machine looks interesting, but it’s expensive and huge and I’m not sure where we’d hide it when it’s not in use.

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