Shoes for industry

The shoes say “Yes, yes, yes,” but the cold feet say “No.”

My old copy-desk comrade Hal Walter and I have a habit of carpet-bombing each other in the morning with news items hot off the digital press, guaranteed to elevate the heart rate.

This morning he hit me with a grim item about a cyclist bludgeoned to death by Florida Man, observing, “Cyclists piss people off for some reason.”

I fired back with some AAA advice for driving in winter weather, since Hal has to take his son Harrison up to Leadville today and snow is in the forecast.

Next, since the lads were doing a 14-mile run before leaving Weirdcliffe, I doubled down with a running mag’s top-10 tips for legging it in the cold — guidance that seemed heavy on the buying of various items.

And finally, for the coup de grâce, I tacked on a hastily freestyled top-10 list of my own, possibly because the wind was blowing about 666 mph here in The Duck! City and the going outside seemed contraindicated. Also, I may have been slightly overcaffeinated.

Dr. DogByte Sez: “Run Right Out and Buy Some Shit!”

Tip No. 1: Buy shit.

Tip No. 2: Buy more shit.

Tip No. 3: You know you can’t be happy without buying shit, so buy some more shit.

Tip No. 4: Buy some shit, then run around the corner to the coffee shop and buy some more shit there.

Tip No. 5: Buy some shit, then step outside, mumble, “Fuck me, it’s cold out here. I should really go back inside and buy some more shit.”

Tip No. 6: Buy some shit for your squeeze. Maybe your squeeze will then buy some shit for you, or even suggest taking your exercise indoors and under the covers, where it’s warm.

Tip No. 7: No, probably not. In fact, she’s out running. So while the cat’s away, you might as well just buy some shit for yourself.

Tip No. 8: Now that you’ve got the carpal tunnel from buying shit, you should probably schedule an appointment with a physical therapist. Which is kind of like buying shit, except you can’t brag about it while showing it to your friends.

Tip No. 9: So fuck that shit. You’d have to go outside, if only to get in the car. Better stay inside and buy some more shit, using your good hand.

Tip No. 10: That knock on the door? Not UPS. Collection agency. Looks like it’s time to run after all. If you don’t have a back door use a window. Think of it as parkour. We’ll have some tips for that if you make it back. With a viable credit card, of course.

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25 Responses to “Shoes for industry”

  1. Pat O’Brien Says:

    A five mile leg in 1985 of the Mule Mountain Marathon, going up out of Bisbee and through the tunnel, cured me of running anywhere for any reason. Well, I guess a crazy person with a big knife might do the trick. The only thing they would cut is the bottom of my shoes.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Aw, running’s not so bad. Comes in handy if the Morality Police is after you for saying “Gay.” They’re so loaded down with tactical gear they can’t even get a proper jog going on. And you know they can’t shoot ’cause if they could, they’d be real cops.

  2. khal spencer Says:

    Speaking of more shit, we are finally retiring an Ipad 0.0 for a MacBook Air. Any suggestions, Patrick?

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Oboy, new toys. Nobody I read is impressed with the new crop of iPads, but everyone seems to love the latest MacBook Airs.

      The M2 model starts at $1,199, but I might step up to the $1,499 model for the additional storage. If you want more than 8GB of memory that’s another two hundy. And you can’t do a memory upgrade yourself after purchase — you gotta pull the trigger when you buy the machine.

      I’m a firm believer in more storage and more memory, especially since I just ran out of space on my 13-inch MacBook Pro. But if you’re counting your pennies you could always use external storage for photos, videos, music, and other space hogs.

      Another option: you could save some dough by buying the M1 Air, which starts at $999, and add memory and storage from there.

      Either M1 or M2, I think you’d be pleased. The Air is supposed to be Apple’s most popular Mac. Here’s a review from The Verge running down the highs and lows. Jason Snell at Six Colors has some thoughts as well.

      • Shawn Says:

        It sounds to me like your shitting apples.

        • Patrick O'Grady Says:

          It’s a sickness, to be sure. I’ve lost count of how many MacThings and iDoodads I’ve bought over the years since I acquired that first Mac SE back in 1990. More than a few of them are still here, the oldest being the 1999 Power Mac I use to color cartoons and archive The Work. That beast sounds like a 737 preparing for takeoff when I wake it from sleep.

      • SAO' Says:

        Happy M2 MBA owner here, certified fresh five stars. Fast, cool, and quiet. Used to be, pick two but they nailed it this time.

    • Pat O’Brien Says:

      We have been using our two basic 7th generation 128GB iPads for 2 years with no issues. During the same time we have been using two Macbook Air lap tops, one 128GB and the other 256GB, with no problems save one. The 128 GB Macbook Air does not have enough storage for the Monterey OS. So, as Patrick says more storage is always useful. I also have a new 256GB iPod Touch which is use as a music player for in the house, car, or with my acoustic guitar amps which both have Bluetooth capability. We do not have large storage needs for photos, documents, music, and video. All these devices are about two years old.

      • SAO' Says:

        I have an original iPad Pro, whatever model that was. And I’ve tried to trade it in 3-4 times, actually placing an order and filling out the trade-in form. And then there’s a minor update to the OS, and I realize this thing is just fine, and I cancel the order.

        The new iPad lineup is a cluster and a half. The bottom two tiers have the exact same name but are $150-200 apart. Half of them still only use the Pencil 1 while the others have moved on. (If you want a giggle, look up how you charge your Lightning Pencil with a USB-C iPad connection.) And the newest/cheaperst puts the front camera on top in landscape mode, perfect for teleconferencing, but the Pro models still have it on the short side, so your Zoomie buddies are looking at your left ear.

        This is one of those areas where you need Tim Cook to fill the 40 foot shipping containers from China but you need Stevie on the production floor yelling “No, try again” at everyone.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Herself and I both have 2016 iPad Pros, the 9.7-inch, 32 GB, wifi model, hers with a keyboard folio and mine with a Brydge detachable keyboard.

        She uses hers a ton, while mine is sort of a kitchen computer/e-reader. I wouldn’t buy another. They seem geared almost entirely to consumption rather than creation, though obviously you can write, do some light photo editing, and blog with one.

        Part of my issues with the iPad center on the OS. It’s just not as intuitive to me as the macOS. I can work with one but everything takes just that itty bit more longerer.

    • SAO' Says:

      I still find myself using my MBA 80% of the time, my iPad 20%, but there’s a good argument for moving to an all-iPad lifestyle and ditching the laptop/desktop. The middle and top end iPads are Apple Silicon these days, so they are basically MacBooks without a physical keyboard.

      You’re at $999 for a 8GB/256GB M1 MBA, or $1050 for an M1 iPad Air with 256GB plus the Magic Keyboard. So basically, for $50, you get two devices — a take-it-everywhere iPad that slips into the keyboard with a touchpad.

      Start maxing out the MBA, and you’ll find yourself in $3k range real quick, and similarly the bigger screen M2 iPad Pro plus keyboard tops out at $2500.

      Hard to do an apples to apples (sorry!!) comparison, but you can configure the two within 90% of each other.

  3. SAO' Says:

    Some friends had a hockey game in Fraser this weekend, pretty sure winter came early to those parts.

    If you’re going to be out and about in the winter and in the mountains, make sure you drain the summer air out of your tires and replace it with winter air.

    Also, you don’t want to drive around at 100% psi. You’ll get better bite around 80-90%.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Speaking of winter, we have 39° and popcorn snow here in The Duck! City. And speaking of tires and the air within same, I collected a machine screw (with washer) in a brand-new Yokohama on Friday. I’m waiting to see whether it can be repaired or must be replaced.

      Screwed again

    • Shawn Says:

      Isn’t it always winter in Fraser? It seems I recall that Fraser had the record cold temp record in Colorado.

      100 psi tire pressure? I guess you must get pretty good fuel mileage eh? I take it your sensors need resetting. Is that where the air change comes in to play? I could imagine that disconnecting your battery and then reconnecting it after a few minutes might help those high psi readings.

      I notice that my old rig needs a few psi itself. My summer air has increased density and the tires are thus less “pushed” out. Cushy ride – Good for ice and snow – Not so good for $4+ gas prices.

      • SAO' Says:

        That’s PSI?!?!?!? I thought it was percentage, like 100% inflated. Rut-roh, no wonder she kinda bounces around on the turns!!

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Hunter S. Thompson conducted some tire-pressure tests on a Cadillac Coupe de Ville (“The White Whale”) during his famous visit to Vegas. The Good Doktor found the Caddy ill-suited to “high-speed cornering in residential neighborhoods” and pumped the tires (28 psi front/32 rear) to 50, then to 75. His report follows:

        The two front ones were tighter than snare drums; they felt like teak wood when I tapped on them with the rod. But what the hell? I thought. If they explode, so what? It’s not often that a man gets a chance to run terminal experiments on a virgin Cadillac and four brand-new $80 tires. For all I knew, the thing might start cornering like a Lotus Elan. …

        As it turned out, the Whale behaved very nicely with the altered tire pressures. The ride was a trifle rough; I could feel every pebble on the highway, like being on roller skates in a gravel pit … but the thing began cornering in a very stylish manner, very much like driving a motorcycle at top speed in a hard rain: one slip and ZANG, over the high side, cartwheeling across the landscape with your head in your hands.

    • Herb from Michigan Says:

      C’mon SAO, you know damn well you should be using AUTUMN pumpkin spice air in your tires at this time of year.

  4. Herb from Michigan Says:

    Man that vintage Apple stuff was something. Still have 2 fully functioning IPods and an IPad that archive the Herb Music Libraries around. Our (newer but not very) IPad Pros get a pretty good workout daily for Zooming, browsing and e-book reading and we likes them biggly. That is until Apple stops supporting them.
    256g ain’t squat! Apple dearly loves forcing you to live in their iCloud world. I wish they had SD card capabilities on iPads. But nothing beats having instant on board memory

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Herb old scout, you can use external storage with an iPhone and iPad. I have a little iXpand flash drive dingus from SanDisk that I use to archive pix from the iPhone. Plugs right into the Lightning port and a related app handles transfer, though I suppose you could use Files to move stuff back and forth with any Lightning-capable flash drive and the appropriate SD card reader and adapter.

      It’s more hassle with the iStuff than with a MacThing, but you can git ’er done. I shoulda sprung for more storage when I bought my 2016 iPad Pro, but I was thinking immediate dollars instead of long-term functionality. Bad dog.

      • Herb from Michigan Says:

        Thanks Patrick for the remote storage tip. I will be looking into it pronto. Might tap you for more advice before slapping down some greenbacks just to ensure I don’t screw up.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Glad to obleege. I’m far from an expert on the iStuff, but I have picked up a trick or two over the years.

        The nice thing about using the SanDisk jobber with its app is that it will shift pix off your iThing and then ask you if you want to croak the originals, which frees up internal storage.

        You can also use one of Apple’s little gizmos to transfer pix from an SD card to an iThingamajig. It’s a bit more hands on, but still useful. Comes in Lightning and USB-C flavors. Here’s the Apple wisdom on that.

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