Roll another one. …
The Suits have come for your ’shrooms.
Jesus H. Don Juan and St. Castaneda preserve us! Is nothing sacred? Is there anything global capitalism will not besmirch with its grabby little hands?
Coming soon to a strip mall near you: a chain trippery called Mescalito’s. Try the gluten-free non-GMO vegan Peyote Burger with a side of Zoom ’Shrooms and a Cabron Lite® CBD lager!
Sorry, we haven’t had a drive-through window since a VW van full of hippies got caught in an M.C. Escher-King Crimson feedback loop at our Taos location and wound up circling the joint like hairy zopilotes until they ran out of gas.
So much for being a Trippist monk, growing your own revelations.
Oh, well. I guess even Mother Church has to buy the wafers and wine from someone.
In other news that makes you wonder who’s taking what:
• What’s this shit? The state of California has slammed the lid on San Francisco’s plans for a $1.7 million public toilet in Noe Valley. Is that a steep price for a one-holer? Does the pope shit in the woods? Noe thank you, please. Apparently there are some crappers down which not even California will flush the taxpayers’ dollars.
• Holy shit! Is Pootie-poot really contemplating a false-flag “dirty bomb” attack that would justify his use of nuclear weapons to pull his nicely roasted lil’ chestnuts out of the fire in Ukraine? If we’re going headfirst down that glow-in-the-dark loo, I’m gonna need some ’shrooms, stat.
Tags: Carlos Castaneda, Mescalito, psilocybin, San Francisco, The Teachings of Don Juan, Voldemort Poutaine
Mad Blog Media 
October 25, 2022 at 9:59 am |
Trippist monks! Chapeau! Is nothing sacred? Nope. Nothing is sacred, not even your vote. The votes in Cochise County have been stolen. Ir seems my vote will be counted by an unvetted partisan volunteer or by county officials who should have the totals by the end of the year, maybe. Dirty shit is what. Me? Going full Carlin at this point, and the point is what’s the point of voting? Pardon me, as a verified, card carrying juicer, as we used to say in 1970, it’s time to start drinking in earnest.
https://www.myheraldreview.com/news/cochise_county/2-county-supervisors-officials-vote-against-then-ok-hand-count/article_31a70321-afbe-5d97-89d0-372a0b7419c6.html
October 25, 2022 at 10:19 am |
Jaysis. The vote is bollixed and the nitwits running the county are gonna get sued, blued, and tattooed. Lawyers gotta lawyer, and sans insurance, guess who will pick up the tab? (Hint: Not the eejits running the county.)
Here’s more on the story from the Phoenix newshounds.
October 25, 2022 at 11:22 am |
Nothing will happen to them. Both were unopposed in their last election. We are a county of dumpster loyalists. Don’t move here. Endtrans.
October 26, 2022 at 8:37 pm |
The latest. Guess they wouldn’t put their money where their mouth is, especially crosby. Mini dumpster is what, known for stirring up shit on the city council before his current gig.
https://www.myheraldreview.com/news/cochise_county/supervisors-change-course-decide-against-full-hand-count/article_66d61dba-5574-11ed-9f61-cf21d6c50628.html
October 27, 2022 at 7:57 am |
Well, as you know, any ballot tally that does not reflect a Repuglican triumph is prima facie illegitimate. Q.E.D., ipso fatso, et al., etc., and so on and so forth.
What I wanna know is what happens when the lesser primates doing the hand count run out of fingers (knuckles scarred from dragging) and toes (hairy and prehensile) to count on.
“We gonna need more monkeys for this business, Crosby! Send in Stills, Nash and Young. Ook ook ook, chee chee chee.”
October 27, 2022 at 9:46 am |
I think they were coached how to go the legal line and take a baby step over it. Neither one of them is smart enough to figure that out on their own. The local paper nailed the whole episode in their latest editorial.
https://www.myheraldreview.com/news/elections/our-view-standing-up-for-democracy-in-cochise-county/article_c0038fda-54ac-11ed-9b22-5340d15a6da9.html
October 27, 2022 at 12:16 pm |
Good on your local editorial board for stepping up. These new Know-Nothings need some restraint, as in canvas tuxedos with wraparound arms.
October 25, 2022 at 12:19 pm |
As a tripping un-constituent of cochise county with panache equaling herr-orange head I verbally force the voting supervisors to march right down to the nearest greasy spoon diner and count the ratio of floating to sinking turds in the not-so-million dollar toilet. What? Oh, I can’t do that? Well what the hell is it that the supervisors doing? I mean we are in the “Twit zone” aren’t we? A place where what was once rational thinking and governance blew out the backside when the Mar-A-Lego jester sat in the high chair.
I need some more shroom creamer for my coffee.
October 25, 2022 at 2:54 pm |
More shrooms news:
https://theathletic.com/3509045/2022/08/17/jake-plummer-nfl-denver-broncos-arizona-cardinals/
If you don’t have an a subscription, either directly or through your New York Times subscription, sometimes you can get by the pay wall via an iOS device and reader view
And I’m just gonna leave all those theory typos in there because I’m tired of fixing her candy work
October 25, 2022 at 2:56 pm |
That is a strange URL, listing the dude name, in all of the places that he played, which has nothing to do with his current avocation as a mushroom purveyor.
October 26, 2022 at 6:23 am |
Under the heading “True Cretin News” we have Dr Mehmet Oz in debate against fellow Pennsylvania US Senate candidate John Fetterman. When asked about abortion rights, the Republican clumsily tried to thread the needle saying that the issue should be decided by “a woman, her doctor, and local officials”. A Bugs Bunny would say, “Whatta maroon!”
October 26, 2022 at 7:29 am |
Cheeziz Aitch Keereist. It makes you want to pull off your own head. And some of these pendejos will find their way into the national legislature, as if there weren’t enough of them there already.
October 26, 2022 at 12:19 pm |
Hmm? I was thinking about calling up my local city council members to see if it will be all right if I wipe my ass. As per Oz apparently this would be the proper procedure.
Is Oz a real doctor? I’m always amazed when someone with those credentials goes through all the trials, hard work, sleepless nights and days, struggling to remember all the input, and then to spew forth political views that go against the struggle of humanity that the student witnessed and encountered head on.
October 26, 2022 at 12:54 pm |
Wealth and power changes people, many not for the better. Oz went from surgeon to huckster and flim flam man preying on ignorant people. You know, like most politicians and real estate developers. He’s uniquely qualified for the senate of today. Maybe he can sell the turtle something to stiffen his backbone? Or, he could send him to a Yankees game like slimy ted.
October 26, 2022 at 8:27 pm |
During my last colonoscopy I had a polyp removed that looked like Ted Cruz. Or maybe it was Ted Nugent? They both hang around assholes and smell bad.
October 26, 2022 at 3:56 pm |
Folks, we ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Just wait until the lunatics take control of the asylum again. It’ll be all impeachments, all the time, according to Barton Gellman at The Atlantic.
October 27, 2022 at 1:59 pm |
Speaking of Poot-in, I drove to the Sunport yesterday to pick up a friend flying in from Florida. His plane went from being ten minutes early to an hour late, apparently after it left Atlanta on time. So, how does that happen, I asked?
Turns out the airport had been temporarily closed and my friend’s plane had been doing circles over Oklahoma. A lady in the waiting area said her hubbie was in the USAF; he told her the Air Farce had suddenly had an “exercise” closing the runways. All I could think of was a duck and cover drill wouldn’t help at that point as I was probably at Ground Zero, which might be the best place to be. Later I read a news piece on one of the Duck City TV stations saying it was a leak of something or other at the control tower. Or something. But the way things are going with Pootie, I’ve started thinking the worst. Enjoy every sandwich, as Warren Zevon said.
Anyway, my friend, a retired Navy SEAL with combat experience, joked all the way back to Santa Fe about all the negative things we were imagining wondering why the Air Force might have shut down the airport, which shares runways with Kirtland AFB.
October 27, 2022 at 4:32 pm |
Test drive for Sleepy Joe’s visit next Thursday? Tyranny doesn’t just happen, y’know. You gotta do the legwork. First you seize the airport, the media, and the guns, and then you just start rounding ’em up.
October 27, 2022 at 4:42 pm |
I don’t know. Based on 6 Jan 2021, it seems those interested in seizing government are still at the stage of “first socks, then shoes”.
October 27, 2022 at 7:00 pm |
Your friend is probably familiar with the acronym REMF. I think these January 6th people, and other militia types, who claim combat experience either are lying or REMFs. My guess anyway.
October 27, 2022 at 8:31 pm |
I suspect so. My friend has a low opinion of the 6 Jan clown bus on general principals. He is a staunch conservative, but thinks Trump and his 6 Jan contingent all belong in orange jump suits cleaning trash from roadsides.
October 28, 2022 at 7:33 am |
Hmm…isn’t it First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin? Oh wait….too much of the previously mentioned mood enhancement materials in my youth as well. I remember now…that’s a L. Cohen line and I need to ride my bike. I need to get that picture of POG sitting on his haunches out of mind. It causes severe flashbacks.
October 28, 2022 at 9:20 am |
I miss ol’ Hallelujah. Just think of the duets he could have done with Tom Waits. Woulda sounded like two bullfrogs croaking in a steel drum behind a dive bar.
October 28, 2022 at 1:05 pm
The movie “Hallelujah: Leonard Cohen, a Journey, a Song” was pretty good. We saw it in one of those artsie flick houses up here in Fanta Se.