‘Anti-fat-bastard cream there is none’

It’s bucketing down.

Almost a quarter-inch of rain in the past 48 hours! We’ll happily take this little gift from the gods, especially since there’s a chance the Rio will run dry again this year thanks to (a) dust on snow and (2) no storage for the early snowmelt.

The day dawned gray and gloomy, but by noontime Tlaloc had shut off the water works, and I was feeling a tad cabin-feverish and a bit peckish all simultaneous-like.

“Should we go for a jiggety-jog or segue straight into lunch?” I asked Herself.

“A jiggety-jog it is. And keep up, you fat bastard,” she replied, having just learned that “The Full Monty” is getting a 25-years-later reboot as an eight-episode Disney+ TV miniseries.

Ah, not s’bad. …

Herself didn’t actually address Your Humble Narrator in this disrespectful fashion, of course.

The “fat bastard” line is from “The Full Monty” and spoken by the slender Gaz, who is taunting portly Dave during a run as they try to get in shape for a one-off gig as bargain-basement Chippendales.

The original flick also contains a memorable line from Dave: “Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is none.”

Truer words, etc.

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17 Responses to “‘Anti-fat-bastard cream there is none’”

  1. TJ Mora Says:

    Sir, you are the light. Thanks. Always a pleasure to catch up.

  2. khal spencer Says:

    Anti-fat bastard cream. Now there is something almost as desirous as that mythical Fountain of Youth.

  3. Pat O’Brien Says:

    Fat bastard? Patrick? Amigo, last time I saw you I thought you had to run around in the shower to get wet. No COVID bump for you. I, however, still has about a 4 pound lump in front of my naval left over from 2020. It does tilt the guitar up so I can see the fretboard better. So, there’s that.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      After spending the better part of quite some time test-driving the chunkiness my dad developed in his later years I seem to have returned to the original physique I inherited from my mom. But I’m still fat on the inside, where it counts.

  4. Herb from Michigan Says:

    Well since it is Fat Bastard time on the blog, why not open a can of Founder’s Dirty Bastard Scotch Ale? Have enough of them and you can become both dirty and fat. Probably surly too…which by the way is a great brewer in MN.

  5. khal spencer Says:

    On this note, I’ll have to go score a six pack of Fat (Spare) Tire Ale.

  6. SAO' Says:

    Ones sense of humor takes a few unexpected turns when you have kids that have access to all the channels. We watched Big not too long ago, and it did not age well. When the 5th grader in the house is pointing out that the female lead needs to go see HR, you have issues. And IIRC Disney+ had to figure out what to do with Splash, which is was pretty much on the family-friendly side of PG except for John Candy being basically a predator. Lordy, he was funny … until you’re watching it with two pre-teen girls. It’ll be interesting to see how they pull off (no pun intended) the Full Monty.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Could be interesting. Same basic concept — the State does not care about thee and thine, even less so than it did 25 years ago. But it’s not about old white dudes peeling for pounds this time around. If they get it right. …

      Lord, we’ve sampled some stinkers stranding talent in the late Newton Minow’s vast wasteland here lately. “The Big Door Prize.” “High Desert.” Etc. They can’t all be diamonds, but it seems like we have to dig for them in a bigger pile of dung these days.

  7. Pat O’Brien Says:

    Seems that a judge in NewYork has a supply of anti-fat bastard cream. Going to use some of it today.
    Fat Tire Amber Ale is a solid example of the style that you can buy anywhere. It’s best on draft when you can find it.

    • Herb from Michigan Says:

      Probably just in my head but some beers just don’t taste right out of a can versus a bottle. Better yet, if you can drink right from the tap. Sneak behind the bar and suckle right off the spigot.

    • Pat O’Brien Says:

      Go to the source, heh? I think any good beer tastes better on draft. Or, is it draught? That really applies to New Belgium beers more than others according to my taste buds. I remember New Belgium Blue Paddle on draft at a Bisbee pizzaria, Screaming Banshee. Damn it was good!

    • Shawn Says:

      As Herb indicates I have a tough time enjoying good beer out of a can*. Perhaps it’s due to all those teenage and college years of drinking the cheapest swill we could afford. But I’m getting tired of the State bottle and can deposit issues. The days of standing in line on a sticky surface to cash in a few cans and bottles isn’t worth my time. I prefer taking my growler down to one of the micro-brewers for a fill up. Now that’s good beer!

      *I’m trying to remember if I’ve been around long enough to have drank a soda out of a steel can. I do remember a short time of needing a can opener. Beer at that time for me was nowhere near as good as grape soda.

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