*Hummingbird not included.
The GOP pestilential dogfight is shaping up into something like “The Lord of the Rings” as reimagined by Charles Bukowski with an assist from William Gibson.
Thus we get Scum Baggins, Douche Baggins, Colostomy Baggins, and so on.
In this Bukowski-Gibson cyberpunk edition the Shire is a casino built on a Superfund site, a former dogfighting venue called Slobbiton.
The Wizards are all off somewhere dicking around with AI, social media, and first-class-only rocket flights to nowhere special for the Elves (Dwarves can’t afford a ticket).
The Rings of Power are not limited to the Elite — they’re Watches of Power, and can be acquired by anyone with the do-rei-me — but all they do is let you answer the phone that’s perpetually in your hand anyway and tell you to get out of the La-Z-Boy for a couple minutes every hour, you great fat bastard. Mostly the Ring-wielders use that time to go to the fridge for some tasty Boar’s Head snacks.
Speaking of pigs’ heads, at some point our revised narrative careens off piste entirely into “Lord of the Flies” territory. The Wizards and Elves get voted off the island on charges of being woke, trans, or both; everyone left is some variation on Jack or Roger (though George Soros makes a brief cameo as Piggy); and the Royal Navy never turns up to set things aright because THIS IS AMERICA BUDDY! YEAH, BABY! USA! USA! USA!
All things considered we’d rather watch a sprinkler in the back yard. Now and then we get to see a hummingbird enjoy a brief shower.
Mad Blog Media 
That shit drives people who seek reliable information crazy. It’s not aimed at us.
Watering the tree?
This sort of comedy, performed before a thundering herd of 1,200, is what Iowans have today instead of raree shows, I guess. That there are 13 candidates should be a warning to us all. I suppose it could be worse — there could be 666 of the silly fuckers.
And yup, watering the maple, which is showing signs of stress in this heat. We haven’t had anything like a real rain since … late May?
While I was sprinkling the tree I spied hummingbirds darting in and out of the spray, briefly alighting in puddles, and just in general having a high ol’ time. Naturally, as soon as I grabbed the phone to snap some pix, they buggered off.
Every day the clouds build up here. And every day around 5 in the afternoon a big wind comes up and blows the clouds away. I feel like I am living in a Rod Serling episode that ends badly.
We get a similar tease down here. Except we actually hear a couple-three-four raindrops hit the skylights — pok … pok pok … pok pok pok — but when we run outside to enjoy the rain, it stops.
It’s like the old game of ringing someone’s doorball and running. The only thing missing is the flaming bag of dog shit on the stoop.
Same thing here. Radar show storms to the West, but we get nothing but a sprinkle in Cochise county. 100 plus temps return later in the week. Shit is getting old even though it will probably be more common every yeat.
The wet weather seems to be flowing west and north of us here. Hal’s been getting some good rain in Crusty County, and it looks like Bibleburg is in for a wet stretch. When’s our turn?
Oh. Yeah. Right. We live in a fuggin’ desert. Whatever was I thinking?
I suspect the hits will keep on coming.
https://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/images/151632/relentless-heat-in-the-southwest
More fun.
https://research.noaa.gov/2020/11/09/new-research-volume-explores-future-of-enso-under-influence-of-climate-change/
“ENSO.” Heh. Someone had a sense of humor when they came up with that one. Probably a Zen Buddhist. In her/his/their honor I should wear my NOAA jersey on today’s ride.
Whoo. I knew there was some reason I didn’t want to live in Phoenix. And this is one of ’em.
The good news is, Hal and Harrison should have pleasant weather for today’s World Championship Pack-Burro Race in Fairplay. Cool temps, and since they’re both racing the “short course” (only 15 miles), they should be done when and if any thunderbummers roll in.
In other news, we have a new name for The Duck! City: “Albu-crazy.”
It’s a good thing Lorenzo was making up some sweet treats.
We had a similar episode up here a few months back. Somebody had driven into the front entrance of an establishment. The road they were on was a moderately narrow residential street with a speed limit of 25mph. The street approaches an intersection with a very clear and obvious stop sign – A new one with a blinking LED perimeter. Apparently the driver was proceeding above the speed limit, ran the stop side and drove straight into the establishment. What do you ask may the establishment be? Why so obtuse? I thought it unique that the driver drove straight into the brick wall entrance of a funeral parlor. Perhaps the driver was seeking to save the first responders the headache of transferring the body. No such luck of departing the real world for the driver though. They received only modest injuries.
The funeral parlor should debut a new motto: “We Can’t Fix Stupid, But We Can Sell Your Loved Ones a Closed Casket So No One Else Will Notice.”
Or, “We Can’t Fix Stupid, But We Can Bury It So Nobody Has to Look At It Again.”
And finally, the short and not-so-sweet: “We Can’t Fix Stupid, But We Can Nail a Lid On It.”