It was a bit premature, but I rode my age yesterday and then some.
The final tally was 44.6 miles, or 71.8 kilometers; I only needed 43.5 miles to make 70km, but I figure the additional mile and change constituted a punishment tax for being a wuss and riding my age in kilometers instead of miles.
My 70th birthday isn’t until Wednesday, but the forecast was not promising and yesterday’s weather looked (and was) superb, so I took a cue from Janis Joplin and got it while I could.
I’ve been in something of a rut lately, literally as well as figuratively. The drill has been to break out a cyclocross bike and ride a mix of roads and trails, the latter slashed into tire-grabbing ribbons by fatheads who shred (or stir) the gnar-gnar after a wet spell. The ruts they leave behind don’t pose a problem for anyone piloting a double-squishy with plenty of travel and 3-inch tires, but can be a tad jarring on a rigid drop-bar bike with 33mm rubber.
Still, it beats working, especially if I pick a day and hour when the usual suspects are likely to be hoeing a row in the cube farm. I managed 24 miles of that sort of thing on Thursday. But doubling up on that, on a Friday, sounded like a punishment tour, not a birthday celebration. Also, too much of the same-ol’, same-ol’.
What to do; what to do. …
Temps looked to be headed for the 60s, with wind from the west. Coasting down to the bosque would force me to commit to some proper distance while giving me plenty of options in case advancing age or some other wrinkled catastrophe reared its ill-considered comb-over in midride. Off I went.
It’s mostly off-street bike path (Arroyo del Oso) and downhill from the intersection of Tramway and Manitoba to the bike-ped bridge over I-25, barring a short, unpleasant stretch of Osuna between the western end of the Arroyo del Oso golf course and Brentwood.
But once I’m on the bridge it’s all bike path, all the time, depending upon how I choose to head home.
I’m prone to overdo and bad at math, so after following the North Diversion Channel Trail and the Paseo del Norte Trail to the Paseo del Bosque, I refused to be lulled into complacency by the early greenery, stifled various miles-enhancing impulses — Hang a right at I-40 and climb to 98th? Hang a left at Mountain and cruise past Old Town back to the NDCT? Continue south to Rio Bravo? — and pulled a U at Mountain, heading back to the NDCT the way I’d come.
The wind was mostly with me, so it felt like the right call, not least because it was all uphill back to El Rancho Pendejo. The question was: Which way back?
Arroyo del Oso is kind of a slog if ridden up from NDCT, with lots of stop and go plus a couple-three evil multiple-lane, median-divided, high-speed baby-highway crossings to negotiate with pale, failing, nearly-70-year-old legs. And my limited math skills seemed to indicate the mileage — kilometerage? — wouldn’t make the nut.
So I hung a left where the Paseo trail met the NDCT and headed northeast through Balloon Fiesta Park, where a few didoes through an underused office/light industrial ghetto connect to the Pan American Freeway, which in turn leads to the climb up Tramway — if you don’t mind riding a short stretch of shoulder alongside Pan American against high-speed, one-way traffic, which I kind of do. There’s been talk for years about extending the NDCT north to Roy, which would spare cyclists this game of chicken, but no action as of yet.
A quick digression: As I was rolling through the balloon park en route to doing battle with Pan American I saw a dude on what looked to be a gravel bike who’d left the official trail to drop down into La Cueva channel, a drainage like NDCT only without a bike path along the edge.
It made me wonder if, rather than risking the short against-traffic dash to Tramway from Balloon Fiesta Parkway, a savvy cyclist might be able to ride La Cueva channel underneath Pan American and I-25 all the way to Louisiana, then climb out somehow and head north to Elena, a less harrowing alternative to the 50-mph traffic of Tramway. Never saw the other dude again, so, maybe? To be continued. …
I took my chances on the Pan American shoulder, cautiously skirting two parked vehicles that may have had some unfortunate interaction — one car, one 18-wheeler — and started the half-hour ascent of Tramway to The County Line Bar-B-Q.
This is where the age thing manifested itself. A couple skinny young pups on them plastic-fantastic whirligigs with the disco brakes and what have you passed me so fast I had to stop to check my pulse, see if I still had one.
Nevertheless, I persisted, and upon hitting the stop sign at the barbecue joint it was clear that if I headed straight home I was going to wind up a couple klicks short of the full megillah. Thus I had to add a couple curlicues, flourishes, and do-si-dos to my little dance party before I could leave the floor and collapse into a medium-heavy lunch.
The official high was 69°, four degrees above normal. If that’s my birthday present, I’ll take it.
• Postscript: Lest anyone consider this even marginally impressive, my man the M-Dogg out in California reports having covered 9,000 feet of vertical and 166 miles in four days, none of which was his birthday.
Mad Blog Media 
That was some top drawer word wrangling. I enjoyed it, but felt a wee bit guilty since the subscription is free. It sounded like a great ride. Some of the best rides are the ones where you explore a little with no regard to time. I think your ride was impressive; to hell with the numbers.
Just a walk for me today. I got 5 years on ya, so I plead old age and a sore back from lifting a large ceramic pot, full of a large periwinkle, on the patio. Stupidity and bad form gets me every time.
We have 1000, more or less, cyclists in town for the Tour de Zona. Looks like they will luck out, weather wise, on their rides today. They had great weather yesterday as well. But tomight and tomorrow don’t look too good.
And, happy damn birthday you rascal!
Thankee, matey. Remember, lift with your (ow!) back, not with your legs. …
Good crowd for the tour? My buddy Matt Wiebe, formerly of Bicycle Retailer and Industry News, is likewise in your AO, but a little further north, in Tucson. He and his lovely bride, Lori, are taking a break from Fanta Se (she teaches and is on spring break). They plan to do some hikes around town; don’t know the deets.
And let’s hold off on the birthday wishes for three days and change, por favor. I ain’t there yet — just did the ride!
Hey Patrick
R. Crumb sez Happy Birthday to you. ( and me) I turn 70 on Tuesday. Alas have no fitness for 70k let alone 70 miles. Ranch work not so aerobic nor leaving time for cycling. But some time soonâ¦.
I am the guy who wrote to you some time back after the passing of Laurence Malone.
Julian
Sent from mobile thingy.
An early happy happy joy joy to you, Julian. I was just talking to someone about Laurence the other day, how I once saw him before a late-Eighties Albuquerque race rocketing down this sketchy, sandy, thorn-laced slope to the pit with his spare bike slung over his shoulder like a messenger bag and thought to myself, “That is the coolest thing I have ever seen.”
Happy Birthday in advance, O’G, in case I forget to say something on Wednesday!
O, it’s birthdays all the way down, innit? Better to have them than not, sez I. Now all I have to do is make it to Wednesday.
On a related note:
You will make it! Just stay off Tramway until then. Never made it to the venue so don’t know how many riders are there. Wind picking up now, but most should be done riding by now. It’s quite the deal with everything including ride start and finish at our largest park, even camping, both RV and tent. Here’s the link. Check out the rider’s info and manual.
https://www.eltourdezona.org
Today’s ride looks like a job of work. I remember the wind from the 2010 Southern Arizona Road Adventure. Holy hell, that ride from Tombstone to Bisbee was a bear.
Made the mistake of leaving the iPad on the counter with your blog opened and The Little General read about your birthday ride. Later at dinner with friends she announces “Herb is going to ride his age in miles on his birthday”. Instead of denying that I never said any such thing, I instead incriminated myself by saying “she meant kilometers “. Next thing I know these “friends” are planning the route with tavern stops every five miles where I’m supposed to meet them, down a shot of Fireball, and pedal on. “Sure we did that crazy shit 40 years ago” I protested. “But I’d never make it past the second stop nowadays, maybe if instead of Fireball I get oxygen tent therapy and a French roast IV I could make it to the 4th stop”.
None of these friends could ride 71 yards, let alone 71 km but they seem to think it would be so easy that we could schedule a golf match afterwards. IF I attempt this, I will indeed borrow POG’s bike path plan thereby leaving the hill climbs out of the endeavor.
Old Herb: To paraphrase Gertrude in Shakespeare’s Hamlet: “Old Herb doth protest too much, me thinks.” 🙂
Well played and GOOD LUCK!! And HAPPY BIRTHDAYS PO’G AND OLD HERB!!!
Thanks for the b-day wishes but I’ve got until late summer for the real date to swing into view. I’m now actually thinking about doing it. I’ve got 4 months to work up to it and who knows? Maybe I can find my old riding form or discover a way to collagen my bony old ass into plumpness so I can stay in the saddle long enough. As it stands now I usually go 25 miles and say no mas, time to get off this thing. But POG has shamed me into thinking “WTF- it’s use it – or lose it time Herb”. It’s funny but I was reminded last night that I used to ride 47 miles roundtrip to work and back at least 3 days a week in the mid 70’s. On fekking sewups on a Bottecchia that was too big for me and loved to throw it’s chain off at any time. Flatted (again) and out of spare tires I stashed the bike in the woods and thumbed it home thinking the bike might never be seen again. But there it was two days later waiting for fresh rubber and to torment me anew.
I hear ya, Herb O’Bonybutt. I hadn’t ridden more than 28 miles in one sitting all year until I barked, “Aw, hell widdit!” and did the birthday ride in a fit of whimsy. Caught in a cycle of 20-mile rides I was. In a rare moment of semi-smartness I arranged the ride to leave some flattish and downhilly bits at the end in case I was short of the mark, which I was.
I felt a bit tender in the nether regions after and decided to do a 5K trail run yesterday for recovery.
An interesting observation after viewing my training logs: I’m more than 300 miles ahead of where I was at this time last year, and almost exactly where I was in 2022. My middle name is not Consistency.
Well, that’s only 45 miles Herb. i think JD might be right. Skip the bar hopping though. Just do the ride the day before, show them the bike computer, then off to the brewpub with friends and the Little General in tow. I wish I could beam Patrick, Khal, and I there to celebrate with you! We could dazzle them all with serious toro poo poo.
Or, you could put the bike in the workstand, park yourself nearby in a comfy chair with a cooler of ice-cold ale close at hand, and spin that front wheel until the computer shows the appropriate mileage. Then ring up your pals and say, “Whoo, made it, and am I thirsty! Who’s buying?”
PO’G: Re Consistency. It’s not only the hobgoblin of little minds; but, as we age, the cause of sore behinds! :-)
He shoots, he scores! Nothin’ but net!
I thought it was quite good as well. Since “jd” was involved, I could not help but think “The Catcher in the Behind”.
Given our proximity to the International Date Line, you are now officially 70 years old in New Zealand!
It’s coming to get you, Run Patrick,Run! (or cycle or walk, whatevs).
Happy Birthday from Down Under
Thanks, Hurben. Time travel is a wonderful thing, innit? Now we just need to figure out how to go backward. How’s life among the Kiwis these days?