Too bloody much going on lately. Trying to corral my thoughts, if any, has been like chasing jackrabbits through a funhouse with a lacrosse stick, wearing clown shoes and oven mitts. In a word: unproductive.
I won’t bore you with the details. We’re talking First World problems here:
Buffing the rough edges out of El Rancho Pendejo in preparation for a houseguest. Stalking the elusive turnip for a promised dish (Whole Foods and Sprouts, nyet; Albertsons, da). Learning that I had failed to acquire the ingredients for another anticipated dish, the promise of which I had not been made aware, and the subsequent acquiring of same. Yet another round of flat-fixing, this time in the garage.
My favorite annoyance was an appointment at the local Apple Store’s Genius Bar, where I expected to be advised in fairly short order to hand over my elderly 15-inch MacBook Pro for a vigorous wash and brushup to resolve its “Apocalypse Now/Ride of the Valkyries” fans issue. There’s either some demonic technical haint in residence or enough hair in the case to build an entirely new cat to keep Miss Mia company. Whichever it is, I ain’t going in there looking for it. That’s what we pay Geniuses for.
But no. What I got was straight out of “Nothing but Blue Skies,” by Thomas McGuane. The scene where Frank Copenhaver and his estranged wife, Gracie, visit a Deadrock restaurant for conversation and something to eat. Conversation they get (Gracie insists). But eats, not so much, as waiters glide past without a glance in their direction, the thundering lunch herd slowly thins, and Frank comes to a rolling boil.
After the place empties out Frank finally takes the bull by the horns, flags down a table-wiping waiter, says they’d like to order.
“I’m sorry, but we’re closed,” replies the waiter.
The Apple Store wasn’t closed. But apparently upon my arrival I had not been properly logged in for my 3:30 appointment, which I did not learn until 4:15, when I was ’bout yay far from knocking over chairs and chasing a Genius through his kitchen.
And now I have another appointment on Tuesday.
So, yeah. That’s the scenic route toward explaining the lack of postage around here lately.
Speaking of scenic routes, the pix are from the rides I’ve been taking lately to keep my blood pressure on simmer as I await service.
Mad Blog Media 
That is grim. You’ll have to go back to the shopping mall again. Guessing that’s where the Apple Store is located. If only there was a simple way for the geniuses to check you in…
Here’s to blue skies and all of those “blue days gone, all gone” in a few days.
PS Congratulations to Kristin Faulkner!
Yeah, my life is a living hell. And right you are — the Apple Store is at ABQ Uptown, one of those disco open-air malls with all the usual suspects in it.
I was talking to another bicycle dude while we both waited for the Geniuses to impart their wisdom, which is how I pissed away 45 minutes getting nothing accomplished.
Usual suspects is right! Sandy wasted some time there when you and I were riding the Paseo del Bosque trail. It was across the street from our hotel. Plus, a Trader Joe’s was right there too. You could go broke staying there too long. All they need to be a complete money vacuum is a REI.
I checked my supermarket, no turnips but rutabaga was available.
I shoulda gone for the rootybegger, but I wasn’t in a mood to experiment.
There’s a long stretch about rutabaga soup in “Dr. Excitement’s Elixir of Longevity,” by William Ryan. It may be my favorite part of the book, if only for this:
Haha that’s memorable. Yes, I think the rutabaga has a “heartier” taste and smell. The recipe must require a fresher, lighter taste.
Hi Patrick! My name is JD and I’m in my final practicum to be accepted as a counselor for “Harsh But Unjust/No Whining – No Slack” therapeutic counselors. (NOTE: They were recently acquired by a private equity corporation worth BILLIONS $$$$$.)They’ve assigned me your “case” for my final evaluation because it is so similar to many of the ones they receive on a regular and frequent basis.
I’ve done a quick read of your situation (quick because they’ll want me to do at least 12 in an 8-hour shift …. per day …. 7 days per week) and I’ve some thoughts I’d like you to consider.
You may have a communication problem in your large Rancho Pendejo staff. I’ve experienced this many times and can only offer that “telepathy does NOT work well for coordination and collaboration”. Much less P6 (Prior Planning Prevents P*ss Poor Performance). You actually have to “pin the tail on the burro” with accountability via communication.
Regarding your Apple Genius Bar frustrations, I share your sentiments. I’ve found and offer for your consideration you appreciate that scheduling a meeting with an actual human via IT algorithms eventually requires interfacing with humans who spend 99% of their time at a family reunion or with their friends at a restaurant looking at their iPhones. They’re called Geniuses. They may be (avoiding a potential lawsuit here) socially psychopathic and, because the digital buck never stops with them, they always have plausible denial with the allegedly flawless Apple software. Which they can manipulate faster than “poop thru a goose” … an expression I had to Google and use AI to find in order to better “connect with you”. No shit! (That could get me bonus points!)
Just think of when AI rules the business et al cultures. No humans will be accountable because no humans will be involved. Congress, the Supreme Court, etc. may become superfluous? My great-grandfather, who flew fighters “Back in the Day” (Trademark applied for) often said that “virtual presence is actual absence”. Could that be a blessing? Let us know, please, how your Tuesday appointment goes. (PRO TIP: Did they give an actual date (time/day/month/year) for that “Tuesday” appointment?) IF IT GOES.
In closing, since/if you’ve read this far, I want to applaud your empathy, sensitivity, and genuine caring spirit. Perhaps you’d be available to counsel me later?
PS: My iPhone is texting me that I flunked the final practicum because I’ve spent too much time with you.
Of course, no human will call me. No one will suggest ways to improve. May I ask for your thoughts please …. and I know they’ll be Obi Wan Kenobi quality …. as I pursue my lifelong dream of helping people? 🙂
Hi Patrick! My name is JD and I’m in my final practicum to be accepted as a counselor for “Harsh But Unjust/No Whining – No Slack” therapeutic counselors. (NOTE: They were recently acquired by a private equity corporation worth BILLIONS $$$$$.) They’ve assigned me your “case” for my final evaluation because it is so similar to many of the ones they receive on a regular and frequent basis.
I’ve done a quick read of your situation (quick because they’ll want me to do at least 12 in an 8-hour shift …. per day …. 7 days per week) and I’ve some thoughts I’d like you to consider.
You may have a communication problem in your large Rancho Pendejo staff. I’ve experienced this many times and can only offer that “telepathy does NOT work well for coordination and collaboration”. Much less P6 (Prior Planning Prevents P*ss Poor Performance). You actually have to “pin the tail on the burro” with accountability via communication.
Regarding your Apple Genius Bar frustrations, I share your sentiments. I’ve found and offer for your consideration you appreciate that scheduling a meeting with an actual human via IT algorithms eventually requires interfacing with humans who spend 99% of their time at a family reunion or with their friends at a restaurant looking at their iPhones. They’re called Geniuses. They may be (avoiding a potential lawsuit here) socially psychopathic and, because the digital buck never stops with them, they always have plausible denial with the allegedly flawless Apple software. Which they can manipulate faster than “poop thru a goose” … an expression I had to Google and use AI to find in order to better “connect with you”. No shit! (That could get me bonus points!)
Just think of when AI rules the business et al cultures. No humans will be accountable because no humans will be involved. Congress, the Supreme Court, etc. may become superfluous? My great-grandfather, who flew fighters “Back in the Day” (Trademark applied for) often said that “virtual presence is actual absence”. Could that be a blessing? Let us know, please, how your Tuesday appointment goes. (PRO TIP: Did they give an actual date (time/day/month/year) for that “Tuesday” appointment?) IF IT GOES.
In closing, since/if you’ve read this far, I want to applaud your empathy, sensitivity, and genuine caring spirit. Perhaps you’d be available to counsel me later?
PS: My iPhone is texting me that I flunked the final practicum because I’ve spent too much time with you.
Of course, no human will call me. No one will suggest ways to improve. May I ask for your thoughts please …. and I know they’ll be Obi Wan Kenobi quality …. as I pursue my lifelong dream of helping people? 🙂
Any recipe that calls for turnips will be better using swedes. Rutabagas have a pleasant nutty flavor to die for. Turnips are for posers.
Too bad that you don’t have a Simutech store there. Straight poop with no appointment required. I hope they can last, but people are determined to buy on line or the apple store.
Here’s the recipe, another gem from Melissa Clark. I have a bunch of her stuff squirreled away.
I miss Voelker Research in Bibleburg. They worked on my stuff for years, never failed to come through in a pinch. The drones at the Apple Store here all look like they’re about 12. Makes me wanna bark something elderly like, “Sonny Jim, I was crackin’ Mac cases back in 1990, when your daddy was still in middle school, beatin’ off to his momma’s Victoria’s Secret catalogs.”
I think rutabagas would go well in that recipe, especially matched up with sweet potatoes and those spices.
I think rutabaga would work well in that recipe.
Looks almost like the road designers counted the gutter pan as part of that bike lane, which you ain’t supposed to do.
I developed a serious allergy to turnips after reading Albert Speer’s autobiography. I guess that was all there was to eat in Germany during the late stages of WW I and during the hyperinflation afterwards. Bon appetit. Just don’t start singing the Horst Wessel Song.
I’ll take a pic of the bike lane on High Desert one of these days. Samey same, only with a 30mm gap between asphalt and gutter pan in spots. This is one of the reasons I ride 38mm tires.