Time to die. For my mid-2014 MacBook Pro, anyway.
I should’ve signed a DNR instead of the usual shit-happens waiver when I dropped the 15-inch MBP off to have its swollen battery replaced and overworked fans checked out, or just pulled the SSD and recycled the remains. At some point between handing it over to the “Genius” and paying $267.99 for the battery replacement the display managed to get itself FUBARed and now I have a laptop that can’t be used as … well, as a laptop.
One sees little need for a $267.99 battery in a 10-year-old MacBook that requires an external display to be useful. Mobile this is not. My lap isn’t that big.
Straight answers regarding just what occurred were not forthcoming. There were only the shrugs, the averted eyes, the mumbling about the advanced age of the MacBook. And the “give us your money” part, which — unlike the MacSurgery — proved successful.
But that shit’s on me. I knew replacing the battery was a real job of work — which was why I handed it off to the “Genius” instead of tackling it myself — and I wanted to keep the old MacDawg hunting. Should’ve saved my pennies for the new smaller-and-better-than-ever M4 Mini said to be coming down the pike later this year.
At one memorable point in my inquest, the local “Geniuses” were not answering their phone and Apple’s phone-answering droid punted me to global customer service, where a human lateraled me back to the ABQ Apple Store, where after 10 minutes on hold the person who finally picked up thought I was customer service.
“I can help them with that, go ahead and put them on.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I can help them with that, put them on.”
“I am the customer.”
“Oh….”
I briefly considered going Full Mad Dog on these rotten Apples and their Samsung-level customer service. But what the hell? Even counting its two battery replacements that old Pro earned what I spent on it a hundred times over. Nothing lasts forever, though I have other MacBooks from 2014, 2012, and 2006, plus a G4 PowerBook from 2005, whose displays —¡que milagro! — still display. I can still use this one as a desktop until when — or if — I decide to modernize.
Tell you what, though. I’ll be shipping any future repair jobs to Apple’s main fix-’em-up plant, and buying any new product directly from Cupertino. I remain a firm believer in supporting local businesses, but our local “Geniuses” have seen the last of Your Humble Narrator.
Mad Blog Media 
MacBook Pros are great. They should never have to die.
Cats, dogs, and MacBook Pros should all have eternal life. But would they miss us when we’re gone?
There is no money in repairing things. It’s like recycling plastic.
And what a far cry from the stellar customer service I received after shipping the wee beastie to Apple HQ back in 2020.
I just went through step 1 through step 55, which then has to be repeated in reverse order. Many steps look pretty tricky even to me, who used to take apart and fix million dollar mass specs for a living. I’m not surprised they fucked it up. They get 110 chances to do so.
What I can’t figure out is why the hell Mac would make replacing the damn batteries a Land War In Asia procedure. Why not put them where they are accessible?
Khal: Speaking of “Land War in Asia”. My elderly MacBook Pro was “Designed in California, Assembled in China”. I understand some of a more recent vintage are assembled elsewhere in ASIA.
Hence, the “Land War in Asia” was created by the “Geniuses” in America. Probably some combination of saving weight/space/production steps/cost, encouraging heat abatement, etc.?? (Sorta sounds like bike design and production, eh?)
As in LBS/owner bike repair, the poor schmuck who actually has to do it pays the price. A la headset routed cables ….. pre-electric-shifting mech internal routing of cables w/o internal tunnels.
And …. is the opportunity to f**k up 110 or 55 factorial? 🙂
I’ve been inside a bunch of Macs, from that first SE back in 1990 to Herself’s 2012 MacBook Pro just a few years back (added memory and storage). Simple chores, mostly, since the Irish toolkit only contains three items — claw hammer, Semtex, and whisky for when the first two fail.
After one look at the battery-removal process — actually, two looks, one at iFixit and the other at OWC’s instructional video — I said no thank you, please. My eyesight hasn’t improved since ’90 and I’ve grown eight more thumbs to keep the original two company.
I wonder whether Apple’s obsession with making everything thin might have something to do with this battery arrangement. Always felt that thermal issues related to the iMac design had something to do with my 2009 model going sideways for reasons neither I nor the “Geniuses” could identify.
Two PowerBooks I owned back in the Nineties, the 520c and 1400c, had bays for everything from Zip drives to CD-ROM drives to, yes, batteries (you could rock two batteries for those long days away from the desktop). Slide ’em in and out like 8-track tapes. Now that was a battery replacement that even a non-“Genius” could handle.
I wonder if it is worth opening it up and seeing if they fucked up the display cable plug or if it is not plugged in properly. See step 27.
I might have a look-see when I crack the case to remove the SSD before recycling, if we ever get there.
Yeah, good idea. Maybe you can even get the display to work. I have an old PC laptop that doesn’t work any more. One of these days I have to open it up and take out the hard drive and recycle the rest. I usually take the hard drive out to the range and put a lot of holes in it, just for personal privacy purposes.
Khal I like your hard drive disposal procedure. Seems more humane than the hammer on the garage floor method I’ve used.
Sigh…if only Subaru made laptops….
The hammer is so … satisfying, though. Up close and personal.
Aw, I shouldn’t complain. Who gets 10 years out of a laptop? And I’ve got two 2014 MacBook Pros. Shuckens,I even use the 2012 MacBook Air 11-incher now and then, though the non-Retina display is non-awesome.
True story, and this just happened to me a few weeks ago:
I’m typing up my blog on a Sunday and all of a sudden my 3 year old iMac goes dead. No reboot, turn-on; nothing. But my DSL modem and computer speakers on the same circuit are on. So is my stereo on the other side of the room. Ergo, the iMac is toast.
Well, wanting to meet my self imposed blog deadline, I reason I’ll go buy a new iMac, get the dead one repaired and keep it as a spare. Off to Apple in Farmington I go. Of course the new iMac lacks all the old USB ports I need and Apple doesn’t have the correct USB hub so they send me to Best Buy to spend more money.
I arrive home but before I set up the new iMac I get the idea to test my outlet for voltage and I have none! Wait a minute; my stereo works fine. So I plug the iMac into an outlet on the opposite side of the room and it works!
So I call an electrician and schedule service for my condo. Somehow I have power on one half of my unit and not the other half.
In the meantime, I get an after hours service call and spend the next four hours at a customer site for my day job. I arrive home after 9PM only to see the local utility company outside of my row of condos. I ask what’s up and they tell me we’ve lost a leg of 120V coming into our condos and they are setting up a temporary generator.
(Side note: the modem and speakers were probably still lit up because the LEDs need so little power to drive them.)
So I didn’t need an electrician or new iMac at all! Back to Apple and Best Buy to get my money back. Never even opened the boxes…
Wow. Now that’s what I call a meandering journey around the ol’ Apple orchard.
I considered a new iMac but my experience with the last one was not positive. I think I’m a MacBook user through and through, if only because in case of fire or flood you can grab the sumbitch and flee with all your bloggery and whatnot safe and sound under one arm.