December is National Fruitcake Month, which should surprise exactly no one paying attention to the shenanigans in the nation’s capital.
But let’s not go there, hey? Whaddaya say? Tom Nichols at The Atlantic has posited that our latest Long National Nightmare will not be at an end for the better part of quite some time. It is a marathon, not a sprint, says Tom.
So let’s just jog gently along for a bit, as though we were trying to sweat out the whiskey from a long night of debauchery and hoping to forget (or perhaps remember) all the stupid shit we did while in our cups.
December always feels like an ending to me. Or perhaps the beginning of the end. Rarely am I in a celebratory state of mind.
For instance, this December I will enjoy not one, but two visits to the dentist. The first, yesterday, was for a routine cleaning; the other will be for replacement of a couple fillings that date back to my tenure as a union copy editor at The Pueblo Chieftain, 40 years ago.
“I don’t have the truck I was driving then, so I guess it’s time to get rid of these old fillings,” I quipped as the dentist Indiana Jones’d his way around the archaeology of my piehole.
“Mmm hmm,” he replied, no doubt thinking of his RV payment. “Keep up that home care.”
I was already the Mad Dog in 1984, but it would be seven years, a couple extended stretches of unemployment, and two more newspapers before I finally hopped the rickety fence of unsteady employment and went kyoodling after the bicycles, full speed ahead, damn the health insurance, sick leave, and dentistry.
Fortunate I am to have escaped the dental fate that befell Shane MacGowan. ’Tis a wonder that I have teefers to fill at all so.
Mad Blog Media 
I have all my OEM teeth save one. That includes wisdom teeth, three of which are crowned. The one that wasn’t crowned, of course, is the one that almost fell out by itself. The dentist helped it along in the end. He drives a Civic, but I have a Mercedes of work in my mouth.
December seems like the month where the whole world is trying to sell you shit you don’t need. Bah, humbug.
I have all of the originals save two wisdom teeth. They were impacted, because of course they were, and I believe the dentist used a jackhammer and TNT to break the sumbitches loose. The third remains buried deep in my jaw somewheres (I only had three to start with, which explains the general lack of wisdom around here).
And yeah, every day seems to have its own special capitalist spin. Black Friday. Small Business Saturday. Cyber Monday. Giving Tuesday. Chihuahua.
I did buy two books at Page 1 on Saturday. Hey, 15 percent off! And they’re nice folks too.
I am about to loose a molar. Found out yesterday why my tooth is hurting. Damn. Means months of messing around and getting a partial.
You get old and the warranty runs out.
Don’t ask Hal what’s going on in his mouth. You’ll get an earful. Sounds like “Marathon Man” meets “Little Shop of Horrors.”
Me, I ain’t looking forward to hearing what my dentist finds under those 40-year-old fillings. Could be a couple grams of cocaine and a shot or two of Stoli.
I did order a Walz City Velo cap on sale. They make XXL sizes to order for $2.50. I’ve had many Walz cycling caps, but the L/XL size was always a little snug on my fat head.
The last thing I need POB is another hat. But ya got me curious and now I’ve gots to have one of the Walz winter caps with ear flaps if I’m going to survive another winter. No, it will never likely see cycling duty as I am a sissy about riding under 45 degrees. Rather hike, ski or even use the dreaded home gym assortment. But there are walks to be shoveled, driveways to clear, mail to fetch etc. So who wouldn’t want an AMERICAN sewn, merino wool hat? Thanks for the tipoff.
You are welcome buddy! I wore their caps during my cycling days, both under the helmet and off the bike. They make good stuff!
Prior to dispensing of my job, I used the insurance to fix a couple of crowns/caps. Our regular dentist retired and sold his practice to a young upstart brad and chad kinda fella. I wanted to not like him however the devil you know. So on T day he injects up into my jaw with this hypo-thingy and catshitdogshit hurts. Three weeks later I visit to get the actual crowns and inform brad/chad the opening of my piehole (think Guns of Navarone cave) is painful. Well is it getting better he asks? I dunno I said cause the only way I eat is to load the fork till it’s about falling off and jam the mess into the cave, I never learned to take bites and yes my wife told me not to eat in front of other people. You witnessed that recently. Anyhow that was in early Oct and I’m happy to report the stuffing of a whole turkey leg into said cave recently on? What day was that? I dunno, he unearthed a handful of Rorer 714’s when he pulled off the old crown so they’re still having an effect. What’s your name? Little girl, what’s your name?
Every time I take a seat in that chair I hear: “Is it safe?” And people wonder why I keep running.
Used to be around these here parts ya needed to crawl through broken glass to either find a dentist or get an appointment. Now, for some reason, we are piling them on top of each other. The main route into town for me has 6 dental offices and 4 chiro in a 1.7 mile stretch. That’s just one part of town. Curiously, we be short on pet vets which I’m told is about as expensive to get a degree to be licensed as being a dentist here. And from what I hear tell, vets are making bank these days. My daughter racked up well over a grand in bills last year with assorted cats. Lucky me, I get a big fat filling replaced on xmas eve and good luck if there is a high spot or any other tuning issue afterwards cause you know the doc will be in San Tropez or elsewhere and I’ll be a dental orphan….all the other offices will be closed tighter than a Scotchman’s purse.
Think about the folks that can’t afford to get dental care. Many folks here, close to the border, go to Mexico for excellent care at reasonable prices. Don’t know about the rest of the country. When will our “leaders” understand that dental care is health care?
You’ll love this, Herb old scout. I got a referral to an ENT after the visit to urgent care and thought, “Why not? Haven’t seen one of those since I was a teenager.”
So I rings up Presbyterian and sure enough, they’ll be happy to see me. In April.