Well, “tedious and burdensome” is one way to describe The Pestilence’s latest lawsuit against The New York Times.
“Wall-to-wall bullshit” is another. Or “the ramblings of an ADHD preschool dropout ‘parented’ by an outlaw-biker uncle who makes him work without safety gear in his poorly ventilated meth lab.”
But Judge Steven D. Merryday of the U.S. District Court for the Middle District of Florida clearly is not one for hyperbole, and so he confined his observations to phrases like “tedious and burdensome,” and “florid and enervating,” noting that in alleging only two simple counts of defamation, “the complaint consumes eighty-five pages.”
“A complaint is not a megaphone for public relations or a podium for a passionate oration at a political rally or the functional equivalent of the Hyde Park Speakers’ Corner,” Hizzoner wrote.
He added — without giggling, which must have been difficult, because this shit is funnier than Jimmy Kimmel on a good day — that the complaint, as written, “stands unmistakably and inexcusably athwart” legal requirements that complaints must be “a short and plain statement of the claim.”
And then Merryday wrapped things up the way editors of my early attempts at journalism were known to do, by crumpling that big ol’ 85-page pile of bushwa into a wad and throwing it at the authors, with further instructions appended.
“This action will begin, will continue, and will end in accord with the rules of procedure and in a professional and dignified manner,” Merryday wrote. “The complaint is STRUCK with leave to amend within twenty-eight days. The amended complaint must not exceed forty pages, excluding only the caption, the signature, and any attachment.”
Then he dropped the mic and walked off stage.
Mad Blog Media 
I throughly enjoyed reading the judge’s statement. I’m wondering how long the re-filed will be. It better not be a page over 40.
I kept hearing John “The Paper Chase” Houseman’s voice in my head while reading it.
I thought most lawyers bill by the 1/10th of an hour. Maybe these folks bill by word count? Or both? Or did AI write the piece? 🙂
This fits the MO of not only the legal authors, but the entire current Executive Branch “leadership”: saturate, confuse, delay, disrupt, overwhelm, dissemble, and obscure the substance (if any) in propaganda and cherry-picked confirmation bias.
Oh wait …. those are some of the principles of war; good marketing; and reality TV!
And these lawsuits cost lots of moolah/money/$$$$$! Are we the US taxpayers paying for this? I hope not! And, if so, what’s the bill so far after only 8-plus months of what appears to be a growing litany of quasi-legal, over-the-top “lawsuits”?
But … again …. a reality check …. this too is politics …. a contact sport …. and one where style often surpasses substance …. and fashion often trumps (poor choice of words) function.
On a positive note, think of the growing internship opportunities for law students at the local, state, and national levels! 🙂
The judiciary holds limited power over the executive branch. Its power only applies when the executive accepts they have lost under the law. This guy doesn’t accept any loss and does not care about the law, civil or criminal, or even a Supreme Court decision. This is another delay and distract move while the mid term busting ground game continues. Our county board, all trumpers, have asked the DOJ to check the counties voting machines to make sure the 2022 election was properly run. The autocracy is moving quickly which courts and Congress rarely if ever do. Their goal is to delay and corrupt the midterm elections so dumpster will not get impeached by a democratic majority congress.
See, that’s the great thing about autocracy: It can move fast. Benito made the trains run on time. Choo choo ch’boogie, bruh!
The courts move slowly, and as Uncle Joe Stalin famously (and apocryphally) noted, they don’t have any cops or troops to enforce their rulings.
Unless you’re talking the Supremes with their unsigned and unexplained “shadow docket” rulings, who work for the dude with all them cats in uniform. They ain’t on our side of the track, Jack.
Speaking of all them cats in uniform, dig the crazy shit gettin’ laid down by Sec’y Kegsbreath regarding coverage of the Pentagon.
According to NPR:
Uh huh. Fuck you, Secretary of (Un)happy Hour. I hope your next visit to the O Club features a bartender using his dick as a swizzle stick in your martooni.