Good news! Americans weary of watching war in the desert (“Yawn … seen it!”) can change the channel to jungle combat as U.S. troops “advise” their counterparts in Ecuador.
Jaysis fuck, etc. Yanks just can’t stop lashing uncounted tonnage of “dumb dust” up their snouts, so we expand the War on Drugs to include “narco-terrorism” and start shipping Special Forces to Ecuador, which itself does not produce any nose whiskey but serves as a trafficking route.
I suppose it’s only a coincidence that what Ecuador does produce in quantity is — wait for it — oil.
Meanwhile, Sniffles the Clown keeps horning fat rails of Adderall to take his mind off that pepperoni pizza he’s baking on his neck, and that’s OK because he’s the Pestilence an’ shit, so keep it coming, bitches.
“For my friends, everything; for my enemies, the law. Also, and too, the Green Berets.”
Mad Blog Media 
This can only end badly.
Remember your Richard Pryor, from “Here and Now” (1983):
I think that fella in the photo has a Livestrong band on his wrist. Sandy and I rode up to Kartchner Caverns State Park back in the Postal Service days, and when the ranger came put to collect our entrance fee, he had a yellow band on his wrist. We did too, and he let us in for free. When our friend Hank was fighting lung cancer, that Livestrong Notebook helped them out a lot. It really helped them navigate treatments and finances. That kinda squared up the cheating and being an asshole with us. That and the way he and George treated our high school mountain bike team at an event in Tucson, even after our team beat theirs. So, flame me mi amigos, I get it.
I get the feeling that dumpster isn’t really driving this train anymore. Scary shit.
Too busy dispatching knaves and varlets to Hobby Lobby and Michael’s to acquire gilded garbage for his ballroom.