What a perfect lead-in for next weekend’s No Kings rallies.
The Marquis of Mar-a-Lago is definitely not a king, by the standards of “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.” Shit all over him. Plenty of it his own.
James Fallows has a few thoughts about how the Marquis chose to note the passing of former FBI director Robert Mueller, who died Friday at 81. Quoth His Excremency:
Good, I’m glad that he is dead.
Ouf! Dude sure knows how to set the tone, que no?
Well, I’m glad we got that out of the way, not least because I have a penchant for short and not-so-sweet obits myself, some of them with a callback to the old National Lampoon headline — “Franco Dies, Goes to Hell” — and I’m very much looking forward to writing his.
Fallows gives a shout-out to the upcoming No Kings rallies and suggests that we call/write the Orange House, plus our senators and representatives, to deliver “messages of outrage.” Great idea, and I’m all for it.
But that old Yippie-wannabe streak of mine, as always, yearns to take the response just a wee bit further. …
What about sending His Excremency a roll of industrial-grade toilet paper, the kind of 220-grit sandpaper you find in roadside rest areas, hot-sheet motels, and jails, with a note suggesting that he use it to wipe his all-too-public asshole, the one just below his nose?
Or perhaps a single long pubic hair taped to a postcard, with instructions to use it as dental floss after shitting through his face like this? Which he wouldn’t, of course. You know His Excremency never flosses; just tosses his dentures to a minion, who dunks them in the thundermug and then shoehorns them back in through that wrinkled, puckered orifice.
No, not that one. We’re talking the attic here, not the basement.
In the meantime, we can attend our local No Kings events and wait for that glorious, long-overdue day when we can all breathe a sigh of relief and say:
Good, I’m glad that he is dead.
Call me an optimist, but I like to think that this non-king will rest under a blanket of shit for eternity. His should be the only tombstone in the boneyard with a toilet-paper dispenser.
Mad Blog Media 
Nothing, as long as it is bad, surprises me with this asshole.
And now this fucknuts wants to send his ICEholes to the nation’s airports to handle security as the TSA goes unpaid.
What a giggle it would be to show up for your flight wearing a mask.
“Take that shit off.”
“You first.”
Etc.
In other news … Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
Chevy Chase might be a flaming asshole who is impossible to work with, but he sure knew how to deliver any line handed to him.
Mueller and TFG should not have their names appear together in any context or medium.
Every time I think, Well this will rattle his base and finally get the GOP to think twice …I remember that most never thought once.
(And for the 237th time … the L in GOP is for Leadership.)
Just think. We were only a flap or two of a butterfly’s wings from not needing to discuss the current incompetent leadership of a nation. My how fate and history roll themselves out.
Thank you Robert Mueller for your hard and dedicated work. I am saddened that it may have made your last years less happy then those that you should have had.