Tea by the pool

No diving.

It’s not summer yet, but that doesn’t mean I can’t crank out my little bit of bullshit on the patio instead of in the office. I mean, it’s 64°, just past 8 a.m., and there are a lot more hummingbirds out here than there are in there.

Birds of another sort abound elsewhere. Buzzards, mostly. The Benighted States have been at the polls again, hoping to find a few that shit gold instead of what we’re wading through at the moment.

It might help if we focused on finding a species that isn’t focused on eating our entrails.

A robin, maybe. One’s busily plucking bugs from the back yard as I type. Good, useful work, that. Many insects infest the American lawn; many, many of them. A hungry robin might be just the ticket.

Aw, hell, who am I kidding here? We don’t need a robin. We need a Batman.*

* Or a Batwoman, Batperson, someone who identifies as a bat, is transitioning to a bat, I don’t give a shit. As long as s/he/they kick ass.

    12 thoughts on “Tea by the pool

    1. We put a bird bath in our back yard. We also put a large plant saucer on the ground that holds two gallons of water for the baby quail. Add in two hummingbird feeders, and we have entertainment during our early morning coffee on the patio.
      As far as a kick ass person to send to DC, for comic relief of course, hiw about Venom?

      1. I was just thinking about a bird bath the other day. I’ma git one!

        Three hummer feeders here, and two cylindrical bird feeders too. No quail in the ’hood, just doves, woodpeckers, finches, robins, sparrows, and some other little peepers that Herself can identify.

        As regards Venom … well, if I were to upgrade from The Batman (a DC character) I might go with Marvel’s The Punisher.

        Or, since these folks seem terrified of anyone who’s not “from” here — why not an Alien?

        1. It’s a smaller one of cast resin. It’s heavy enough to withstand wind and two doves splashing around simultaneously. We got it at Ace Hardware. Picture coming to a phone near you.

    2. Out watching the birds just now. One, a little house finch we think, shit on Sandy’s leg. The nerve! Give ’em water and food and what do you get! Shit is what.

      1. Must be Republican finches.

        I checked the local True Value and Lowe’s for bird baths. The first had a couple cheapo lightweight plastic deals that would take flight in a New Mexican wind, while the Lowe’s had a couple heavy, pricey jobbers and just one cashier and a line backed up damn close to the far end of the garden center.

        The search continues. …

        1. Did your search find a winner?

          Meanwhile, I read that bessent and pulte don’t like each other. How about we put them in the cage fight on the South lawn of the lied house? Wait a judge might shut that down too.

    3. Our 2 concrete/stone bird baths have weathered storms galore over 20 years. I grumble every time I move them but they do their job. Got em from a place that made all kinds of concrete things including gorillas and benches.

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