We’ve had “Scarface,” “Joe Bananas,” and “Ice Pick Willie.”
So, whaddaya think Rudy Giuliani’s mob nickname is?
Leave your best guess, and the gun, in comments. But take the cannoli.
Name that tool
Category: Derision
Here’s your cup, there’s the door. …
As I was getting set to hop in the shower last night I saw movement in my peripheral vision, and holy shit, there was a largish vinegaroon, lurking down by the baseboard near the sink.
I clapped a plastic chile container over him (or her), slid a record album underneath (Stray Cats, “Built for Speed”), and ferried her (or him) out the front door.
We don’t like having scary things scuttling around and about in our house, and we remove them with a minimum of violence as quickly as we are able, because nobody who lives in our house is a fucking idiot.
Speaking of which, “What do we want? When do we want it?” Seriously? Jesus, people, find a new hymn to sing. That’s got as much white hair in its ears as “Hey hey, ho ho.”
Why fi?
it cost me $150 to update the blog.”
Jesus H., etc.
I know this isn’t exactly the wilderness, but still, damn.
Anyone who’d pay $3 an hour for wifi at Hyde Memorial State Park probably shouldn’t be allowed to leave home with his wallet.
Get your face out of the phone and take a hike, f’fucksake. Give Yogi and Boo-Boo a shot at your pic-a-nic basket.
The frog of war
Carlsjunior von Clownwitz seems to have stumbled across the notion that in a war, people get killed.
I can’t wait for the real story to dribble out of the Sieve House.
It’ll all come out in the wash
The Wall Street Journal and Daring Fireball consider the clusterfuck that is the Samsung Galaxy Fold.
Ho, ho, etc.
Samsung didn’t give a rat’s ass about their top-loading clothes washers exploding like land mines in laundry rooms. What makes anyone think they’ll lose sleep over $2,000 smartphones that snap like Olive Garden bread sticks when the rubes try to fold them?
We owned a Samsung top-loader once and it became the subject of a Radio Free Dogpatch episode. After dogpaddling across that customer-service vale of tears I wouldn’t buy a life jacket from the sonsabitches if I were standing on the stern of a sinking ship in the North Atlantic, surrounded by sharks wearing bibs with my mugshot on them.
But I’m sure somebody would. And so is Samsung.
• Editor’s note: Speaking of washers, Kevin Drum explains that tariffs caused Americans to spend 12 percent more on these devices than they might have had Beelzebozo kept his big bazoo out of things he doesn’t understand, which is mostly everything. MAGA, etc.
