Top-shelf “van life?” Four-figure “smart” strength-training equipment?
Betimes one wonders whether The New York Times ping-pongs back and forth between Manhattan and San Fran without paying much attention to what’s in between.
Clearly, what Joe and Jane Sixpack are crying out for in Middle America is a Mercedes-Benz Sprinter with a factory-installed Tonal.
Either that or, y’know, like, a Bug vaccine, dinner with friends, and maybe a fucking job.
Let’s ask Studs Terkel, shall we?
Well.
I’m not sure what he was saying, exactly. But whatever it was, he sure told us.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Just ask Adolf Twitler, who got going … to the Führerbunker.
Inside the White House, the mood was bristling with tension. Hundreds of protesters were gathering outside the gates, shouting curses at President Trump and in some cases throwing bricks and bottles. Nervous for his safety, Secret Service agents abruptly rushed the president to the underground bunker used in the past during terrorist attacks.
After his evening in the bunker, Mr. Trump emerged on Saturday morning to boast that he never felt unsafe and vow to sic “vicious dogs” and “ominous weapons” on intruders.
Because of course he did. Right after he changed his underwear.
“Miley Cyrus plays Pink Floyd?”
All in all, you’re just another shtick in the mall.
“I would certainly be in favor of allowing states to use the bankruptcy route. It’s saved some cities, and there’s no good reason for it not to be available … My guess is their first choice would be for the federal government to borrow money from future generations to send it down to them now so they don’t have to do that. That’s not something I’m going to be in favor of. Or perhaps they might consider marrying into a wealthy maritime shipping family.” — Mitch McConnell on borrowing to assist state and local governments.*
* Except for that last sentence, which he’s never gonna say out loud the way he did when he was looking for a rich woman to marry.
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