Suit up

At left is the original kit; at right, version 2.0.
At left is the original kit; at right, version 2.0.

The glorious day has arrived: The Old Guys Who Get Fat In Winter jerseys are available for sale now via the Mad Dog Media store at Voler.com.

Big thanks to Patrick Ribera-McKay and Ralph Juarez at Voler for doing all the heavy lifting. I just sat back, and watched, and lit Cuban cigars with thousand-dollar bills.

This is a Produce On Demand deal — production will take seven business days, so it’s not quite like ordering up a 55-gallon drum of personal lubricant on Amazon Prime Day. But considering how long I’ve taken to get around to this little project, another week of unfulfilled craving will seem like a stroll along the beach I plan to buy with my profits.

I’ve already ordered mine, an original yellow model. I still have a first edition of that one, but I never wear it for fear of falling — flesh heals, but Lycra doesn’t.

Shhh! (Part 2)

The Turk grabs (what else?)  a catnap on a bit of furniture we bought from the previous owner of Rancho Pendejo. It won't last.
The Turk grabs (what else?) a catnap on a bit of furniture we bought from the previous owner of Rancho Pendejo. It won’t last.

Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment) doesn’t know it yet, but his repose is about to be disturbed yet again.

The movers are supposed to show up with all our crap today, and you know what that means: the terrifying sounds of Unauthorized Personnel Operating Within the Perimeter.

Sigh. And we had just gotten back to what passes for normal around here, if your idea of “normal” includes a small satchel full of soiled clothes, no cooking/eating gear, and less furniture and electronica than one might find in the average Motel 6.

Hump Month

nob-hill-sm
If I were to find work in this neighborhood, would I be justified in calling it a Nob job? No, don’t answer that.

I know, I know, the term is “Hump Day.” But it’s gonna be Hump Month around here, and maybe even Hump Quarter, because Herself has gone and landed a new job — in Albuquerque.

Ay, Chihuahua.

It will be a homecoming of sorts. We met and married in Santa Fe, but left New Mexico for Bibleburg in 1991 to take care of my mom, who was developing Alzheimer’s and had begun acting nearly as outlandishly as me. We’ve lived in Colorado ever since, either here (twice) or in Weirdcliffe (once).

We’ve been in residence at the ultra-chic Chez Dog in the upscale Patty Jewett Yacht & Gun Club Neighborhood for going on 12 years now — 12 years! — and I figured we were all done moving, that my years of rocketing pointlessly around North America like a turpentined ferret had finally come to an end.

I’ve lived in two countries, 11 states and 18 towns that I can remember, and in several of those towns more than once. Hell, I’ve lived in five different houses right here in Bibleburg. And the appalling state of three of them is none of my doing, no matter what you may hear from the few neighbors who survived.

Well, looks like we can toss No. 19 up there on the Big Board. Some people around here insist on having actual jobs, my shining example to the contrary notwithstanding, and next month Herself starts work as a technical librarian in electronic resources and document services at Sandia National Laboratories.

And me? Well, God willin’ and the creek don’t rise — which it appears to be doing as we speak — I’ll keep doing what I’ve been doing since 1989, to wit, annoying the readers, staff, advertisers and ownership of various bicycle publications. My primary residence will always be a Mad Dog state of mind.

 

New jersey

Old Guy kit: The original (left) and the second edition.
Old Guy kit: The original (left) and the second edition.

No Chris Christie jokes, now — though we are gonna be talking about new Fat Guy jerseys.

Several of you have expressed an interest in reviving the Old Guy Who Gets Fat In Winter Racing Team kit, and yesterday I emailed the fine folks at Voler to get an idea of the process and expense.

They replied straight away, and it seems they still have at least some of my original designs on hand.

So, the question is, do we want to revive one of the old designs, or come up with something entirely new for the 25th anniversary edition?

We’re looking at an order-due date of Aug. 4 and a shipping week of Sept. 22-30. Price is unclear at this point — I’m guessing we’re looking at a cost of $55-60 per jersey, but that is a dramatically uninformed opinion. I’ll speak with one of the sales guys next week and should know more then. Obviously, the more we order, the less they’ll cost.

In the meantime, feel free to chime in with your opinion as regards design: yellow original, multicolored second edition, or an entirely new jersey.