Category: Live Update Guy

Fat city

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 26 Comments
It's what the all the well-dressed fat bastards are wearing this season.
It’s what the all the well-dressed fat bastards are wearing this season.

The new kit has landed at El Rancho Pendejo.

As usual, I seem to be between sizes — Voler’s large club suits me fine without an undershirt, but once I (ahem) bulk up for winter I may need to go to an XL. And to think my original is a medium. Sigh.

The full zip is a big improvement over the original edition, and so is the fabric. For starters, it’s lighter, which means you can have that extra donut for breakfast. But you can’t have the shorts — not yet, anyway. Them there is original bibs from Back In the Day™ and we’ve yet to bring them back to hideous life.

Chime in as your jerseys arrive and let me know what you think.

What do I think? I think I’ll go for a ride, that’s what I think. I think.

Sartorial Sunday

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 8 Comments
The old Old Guy kit. My new jersey, as the fella says, is in the mail.
The old Old Guy kit. My new jersey, as the fella says, is in the mail.

Got your Old Guy jersey yet? Me neither. But then I screwed up and ordered a jersey plus some bibs that turned out to be out of stock, so mine didn’t ship until Saturday.

Give us a holler when your kit arrives and tell us whether it meets your expectations, and in particular whether it fits as intended. Include a pic if you dare. Don’t worry, we won’t show it to anyone. You can trust us. We’re in the media.

Meanwhile, that little race around Frogland is finally over and done with, which means that tomorrow I can wake up without fretting about how I’m going to be funny before coffee. Thanks to Other Pat for joining us at Live Update Guy during the Tour, and for offering up a couple of pint glasses to help us keep the Tip Jar filled.

It’s hard to believe, but the end of the Tour — for me, anyway — means that the year is on the big downhill slide. La Vuelta starts August 22, and three days after that wraps Interbike kicks off in Las Vegas. Then Bicycle Retailer and Industry News goes back to once-a-month publication, and before you know it, boom! Cyclocross season.

Better start running, y’all. It may be in the 90s now, but before you know it the snow will be flying.

 

LUGgers, start your keyboards

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 9 Comments
The Phantom of the Opera? Naw, just some bald-headed Irish-American unemployable trying to stave off honest work as usual.
The Phantom of the Opera? Naw, just some bald-headed Irish-American unemployable trying to stave off honest work as usual.

The Tour de France starts tomorrow with a 13.8km individual time trial in Utrecht, Netherlands, and Live Update Guy will be there.

Well, not “there” so much as here (Duke City, New Mexico, where Your Humble Narrator whiles away the hours), although there will be some “there” there (mostly Laramie, Wyoming, where Charles Pelkey hangs out his shingle). And there’s MOTS in France, Mons at the Vatican, Larry in Italy, Mbugua in Kenya, Dave in Afghanistan. …

In these days of live streaming video and up-to-the-nanosecond social media it seems odd that a text-based live update like ours still attracts an audience. Still, some folks seem to like it, and we enjoy doing it, so there you have it.

It’s kind of like hanging around a neighborhood sports bar where the innkeeper is always happy to change the channel from golf to cycling, and he never cuts you off and/or throws you out.

So pop on by and say howdy when Le Shew Bigge kicks off tomorrow. It’s a time trial, for god’s sake. We’ll need all the Non-Race-Related Blah-Blah-Blah™ we can drum up.

Nearly there now. …

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 12 Comments

 

On the road again. ...
On the road again. …

It’s July, and you know what that means — Le Homme Gros is getting set to start the Tour de France with Live Update Guy.

All the usual suspects will be on hand as Le Shew Bigge gets under way starting Saturday in the Netherlands — Charles Pelkey, The Man On the Scene (MOTS), the Old Guy Who Gets Fat In Winter (new kit coming soon), and the LUG Nuts Mystery Theatre & Monty Python Spam Spam Spam Eggs Spam Sausage & Spam Appreciation Society, clogging Teh Innertubes with content-free gobbets of Non-Race-Related Blah-Blah-Blah® and the occasional myopic glimpse of what might be going on in the actual race (now where the hell’s my start list and what the hell stage is this, anyway? Is that a roundabout or a maelstrom? Jesus Christ!)

We’re not exactly Phil & Paul, but then they’re not exactly us, either (for starters, they don’t work for tips).

But we do, and we’ll be your servers at Live Update Guy starting Saturday. Would you like to see a menu or do you plan to drink your dinner like everyone else in the joint?

Live, from San Lorenzo al Mare, it’s Saturday morning!

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 9 Comments
Pretty in pink? Well, not so much.
Pretty in pink? Well, not so much.

Didja miss Live Update Guy’s coverage of Paris-Roubaix? Of course you didn’t.

So, naturally, you’ll want to follow along as Charles Pelkey, the Old Guy Who Gets Fat In Winter, the Man On the Scene (MOTS), an otherwise-idle Irish-American ne’er-do-well and the rest of the LUG Nuts Repertory Theatre and Monty Python Appreciation Society call the Giro d’Italia live, as it happens, starting with tomorrow’s team time trial.

In addition to the usual ploddingly tedious race coverage your servers will pile your plate to the rafters with plenty of the old Non-Race-Related-Blah-Blah-Blah®, topped with a nice marinara and maybe a little grated Parmigiano-Reggiano. Mangia, mangia, eat up awready. You look skinny.