Tag: Tour de France

Spanish fly

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 7 Comments

One Spaniard flies forward and another flies backward as Mr. 60%’s Saxo squad catches Zoom-Zoom Froome daydreaming about his big date in Paris. It may have been the most fascinating sprinters’ stage of the Tour that I’ve ever seen.

Sure, Zoom-Zoom still has more time than a Swiss clock factory. And yes, the mountains loom large starting this weekend. But it’s nice to see that not everyone is ready to take a knee just because Sir Dave unsheathed Nextcalibur on Corsica while Brave Brave Sir Wiggo’ rusts away back on Dear Old Blighty.

What we need to keep the ball rolling is some go-to-hell contender to launch a kamikaze attack on Ventoux or L’Alpe d’Huez. “Fuck a bunch of podium! Victory or death! Yaaaaaahhhhh!”

A guy can always dream.

Two jerseys down …

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 6 Comments
Zoom zoom.
Zoom zoom.

The last couple of days at Le Shew Beeg have been, um, interesting, no?

First Cannondale lays waste to all the fast-twitch boyos and puts Peter Sagan in command of the points jersey. And then Sky croaks all the GC guys on the first mountain stage and goes one-two, stage and overall. Zoom-Zoom Froome even snatched up the polka-dot jersey for dessert.

Minibars in the Saint-Nazaire hotels will be in dire need of restocking on Monday’s rest day if Tintin and his mob tap that 55-gallon drum of whup-ass again tomorrow on a five-climb stage. And it goes without saying that the whispers have already begun.

“You have to ask them why they could not keep up,” said Richie Porte, Zoom-Zoom’s chief lieutenant. “Look at us all season, we are so consistent. This has happened all year. Look at Dauphiné and Paris-Nice. This is not really a massive surprise.”

No, it’s not. But maybe it should be. Here’s hoping we’re not in for a two-week victory lap that raises more questions than it answers.

Vulneratus non victus

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 5 Comments
HTFU
The bracelet says “Harden the Fuck Up.” That’s Aussie for “Vulneratus non victus.”

It means “Wounded, not conquered,” and it’s the O’Grady family motto. ’Tis a suitable one for Stuart O’Grady, who has broken nearly every bone in his body at least once in his long tour of duty as a pro cyclist. (He has another, of course, part of which you can see in the wristband I’m wearing.)

Happily, today Stuey was in fine fettle and helped drive the Orica-GreenEdge squad to victory in the team time trial at the 2013 Tour de France. The Aussie squad nipped the world champions in that discipline, Omega Pharma-Quick Step, by less than a second.

Alas, Cannondale’s Ted King was less fit today. Battered and bruised from that stage-1 crash, he was quickly dropped by his team, rode in alone, and saw insult piled atop injury when the wankers who run the race decided that he had finished outside the time cut, a hard-hearted and dubious ruling that drew widespread condemnation from riders, journos and fans.

It’s a bitter ending to King’s first Tour. But Stuey’s proof that a wound need not spell defeat. He’ll be back.

Give me a break

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 2 Comments

Being a newsman of sorts (OK, you can stop laughing now) I like it when actual news occurs.

As Charles “Live Update Guy” Pelkey and I rambled through today’s coverage of stage 2 it seemed we were in for the classic Tour de France non-event: The Doomed Break Reeled In At the Very Last Minute.

Except it wasn’t. Not all of it. Jan Bakelants (RadioShack-Leopard) made a break from the break and hung on to win by a whisker, the last man standing from a late six-man escape. First Tour, first pro win. And it came with a nifty yellow jersey, too.

People who were supposed to win didn’t; people who were supposed to get the maillot jaune didn’t; and the only impediments to forward motion were gravity, eejits at roadside and a loose mutt who will probably never chase a guy on a bicycle again but came away with a fine tale to tell around the fire hydrant: “Jesus, Lassie, there were a couple hundred of the sonsabitches coming after me at 50 km/h! I ’bout shit my flea collar!”

Eventually all the Right People will take charge, of course. They almost always do. But in the meantime we seem to have an actual sporting-news story on our hands.

Extry, extry, read all about it. …