Mister Boo continues to recover his mojo following eye surgery. The little sumbitch is getting bossy again. Thinks he’s Frank Zappa or sumpin’. But he never shuts up and plays his guitar. Plus he has dog breath.
It’s day 10 of Zappadan 2014.
‘Cause, like, you know, we is*. Dumb and mean, with a little ugly on the side. That’s a wrap for day nine of Zappadan 2014.
* Some of us, anyway. Jesus, I have to quit watching “The Daily Show” if only to avoid seeing clips of all these Fox News fuckheads that otherwise would fly under my radar. What were they in their previous lives, junior-varsity cheerleaders who got expelled for drinking Romilar in the girls’ crapper and imprisoning the kid with the lazy eye and one big shoe in his locker? Nobody dumber or meaner than a second-tier “cool kid,” I swear to God.
Here’s a Whopper of a tax dodge: Burger King stands to save as much as $1.2 billion in taxes over the next few years by moving its headquarters from the Land of the Free to the Great White North.
Take off, eh! Sounds like it’s time to start getting my grease fix at Hoser Burger. It’s day eight of Zappadan 2014.
Some days it just doesn’t pay to be a news junkie.
In addition to the actual torture we’ve discussed the past couple of days, day seven of Zappadan 2014 brings:
Great googly moogly! FZ was right! The torture never stops! And that was just from The New York Times. Elsewhere, we have the UCI awarding Astana a WorldTour berth, which is like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank.
I fled the office and took a nice bike ride into the nearby hills, proving that the American dream can still be had, if only as a brief respite between nightmares. I’m gonna do it again tomorrow. I recommend it to you all.
Hey, what did you expect? If today were a “Friends” episode, it would be titled, “The One Where We Tortured People and Lied About It.” But it’s day six of Zappadan 2014, and Charles P. Pierce is all the friend you’re ever gonna need for the bird’s-eye lowdown on this torture caper.
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