Paris, ho!

Well, that was … interesting. Fabian Cancellara kicked much ass without a DieHard up his seat tube (and the UCI checked, just to make sure) and Big Tex just missed the podium in a performance that has his fanboys tugging frantically upon themselves and squeaking about No. 8.

The Champs-Élysées is a long ways off yet, fellas. Put the mouse back in its house, zip up and chill out until the guy has more than five seconds under his belt and you have more than five inches under yours. That’s 8.9km down, 3,633.1km to go, is what I’m saying.

As is traditional, the donkey had a couple of hitches in its gitalong on this first day of the 2010 Tour. But the virtual muleskinners are beating the poor dumb sonofabitch with a really big digital stick and it’s bound to get the idea sooner or later. Paris is thataway. Yaaah!

I took a break in mid-shift for an early Fourth of July celebration with Herself, the Mom-in-Law, Sis and Bro-in-Law, and The Dude and Doris. We ate catered vittles and drank French wine at midday. Next thing you know we’ll be dancing on Sunday.

One thing I won’t be doing on Sunday is working. That’s reserved for a long-ass bike ride. I even have a stars-and-stripes jersey suitable for the occasion, presented to me by USA Cycling for being an Official National Champion Pain In the Velo-Ass or something along those lines.

And if I can find a titanium-and-carbon-fiber shoehorn, I might even squeeze into it.

A happy Fourth to you and yours.

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5 Responses to “Paris, ho!”

  1. steve-o Says:

    Just a bit of Tour trivia, but Gino Bartali is the only person to win a Tour more than three years after his last victory. Of course, Gino had a little war that broke up his streak … without WWII, we might be talking about Lancey Pants trying to tie Gino’s TdF win record this year.

    Anquetil had three years between his 1st and 2nd win. But he was a young pup when he did it. After those two, I don’t believe there’s anyone else with more than one year off between wins.

    If I was Fabian, I’d start the rumor that the batter for my McGruber Assist was actually shoved up my ass. Then I’d feast on beans, doughnuts and beer right before they showed up to inspect me. Maybe have a lighter handy, just for kicks.

  2. barry Says:

    Oh sure Steve…blame it all on zee Germans, as usual.

    Does anyone on here really give a shit if TCWSNBN can make another lap around Frogland in the pole posistion? Like a third-party candidate for Prez…it ain’t gonna happen.

    It isn’t my place here, and I’ve seen opposition to the idea before…but tomorrow at 1:30 PM on Faux Bizness channel is a program for the Fair Tax. I’ve observed opposition to the idea here before; but I think the main reason for opposition is the mouthpieces. Hell, I still have my issues with those people too. But I think the idea of obtaining tax revenue from consumers rather than producers is more along the lines of our Western Society.

    Anyway, please do me a favor and give it a listen. If nothing else, give me a good argument against it.



  3. steve-o Says:

    Battery, not batter. If you have batter shoved up your rear, that’s a whole different situation.

    Barry: Love a consumption tax in theory, not such a big fan in execution. It’s really not a right/left issue as much as a business status quo matter. If you sell Hershey bars at $0.75 each, and you find out that all of a sudden they’re going to cost a buck, then you’re going to shift a little bit of your advert money towards lobbying instead.

    The progressives don’t like the “fair tax” because they think it shifts too much of the tax burden on the poor, but that can be worked out with smarter rules. You could make grocery store food exempt, for instance, but tax the crap out of restaurant meals. But do you think McD’s will sit still for that?

    For what it’s worth, most pro-consumption tax folks i know significantly underestimate how much they spend or consume. I think the implementation of a consumption tax would surprise both sides, those for and against it.

  4. james Says:

    Darn. I can’t post the picture a friend took in Rotterdam at the start. It shows the ultimate Lance fanboy in the muggy, humid weather: white, slender, standing behind the fences in nothing but a Speedo…..of the Texas flag!! Keep it classy American tourists. Keep it classy!

  5. Jeff in PetroMetro Says:

    Barry: I concur with steve-o regarding theory vs. practice. Once a consumption tax gets pushed up north of 8% (we’re at 8 1/4% in Texas), you start to see a lot of cash only transactions and bartering. The economy gets driven underground. If the retail sales guy is solely responsible for tax collection, tax collection becomes even more ripe for abuse than it already is.

    Sorry to say, multiple sources of tax revenue actually work best in practice: income, sales, property, corporate, capital gains, estate, etc.

    It’s not rocket science to understand that the tax rates can come down if spending is reduced. There’s the bitch–getting both voters and votees not to want more stuff.

    I worked on the retail side of investments/financial planning for 16 years and I learned (for the vast majority) that it’s not American to spend less than one makes. It’s also not American to set resources aside for unforeseen future events. This is hard for anyone to get his/her head around, much less put it into practice. And our culture doesn’t promote/support fiscal conservation.

    We rarely elect anyone (from local school board to federal office) who has the training or ability to say “no” a lot, invest wisely, and stick to a budget. There’s just too much info coming in, too many requests and demands to address, and too many decisions that must be made with faulty or missing information. Besides, it’s more fun to say yes than no.

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