To Austin’s dope dealers


Someone give the poor sod a Plexiglas belly button so he can see where he's going.

A grateful nation sends its thanks to whichever one of you is selling the chronic to Gov. Rick “Goodhair” Perry. The Republic is remarkably resilient, but I’m not certain it could survive another Lone Star shit-for-brains who can’t maintain.

Y’all deserve a Presidential Medal of Freedom, or at least a get-out-of-jail-free card.

19 Responses to “To Austin’s dope dealers”

  1. Libby Says:

    Four A’s: Adderall or Abilify (the stimulant); Ativan (anti-anxiety) plus alcohol and Ambien. That’s my take.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Makes me awfully glad there were no cellphone videocameras and YouTube back when my friends and I were enjoying the hallucinogenic fruits of the Sixties and Seventies. That sort of thing could affect a guy’s political career. Or maybe not.

  2. BenS Says:

    Not since the Tricky Dick speech were he was clearly on Quaaludes have I seen such an example of better living through chemistry.

    My thanks to bio-chemist/big pharma every where.

  3. Khal Spencer Says:

    Fer fucks sake…..

  4. Sharon Says:

    Ha Ha Patrick. Am proud to be born and mostly raised in Austin,Texas and love many things about the state. Rick Perry is not one of them. Can’t stand the guy.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Hey, Sharon … we feel your pain here in Bibleburg, having more than our fair share of asshats in the public eye. I see the MSM is giving y’all another black eye today, reporting on the proposal for a Confederate-flag license plate. I saw let ’em have it. It’s like tattooing “I’M A RACIST IMBECILE” on your forehead. Makes it easier to pick ’em out in a crowd.

  5. Jeff Cozad Says:

    Better living through chemistry….

  6. md anderson Says:

    “Federal agencies of government — I bet that there are a lot of Americans out there that would like to forget some agencies of government, too, that are costing them their jobs, that’s tearing this economy up,” is the way he’s trying to spin it to CNN.

    This guy is running for “FREAKING PRESIDENT.” He better damn well know the agencies in the branch of government that he wants to be in charge of. Why is someone who comes off as the stupidest brother in the fraternity being considered as a serious candidate?

  7. Larry T. Says:

    Geez am I happy I only hear about this stuff via O’Grady! I just wish Herman “Stymies Watermelon Patch” Cain would stop calling our office phone in Iowa and leaving these rambling robo-messages! I still can not believe nobody’s asked him about the irony of being a black man running a pizza chain based on an Italian racial stereotype..but when you put that up against sexual harassment in the USA, the sex is much more interesting I guess. Romney is truly the only adult in the room who’s being heard–though I don’t want the guy who says “corporations are people too” to be MY president.

  8. Steve O Says:

    If these chuckleheads want to get together once a week to recite their bumper-sticker-sized talking points, that’s fine. But can we stop calling them “debates”?

  9. High Plains Drifters Says:

    what would have been some serious Jedi mind shit would have been if Perry had said,” See, that third agency is so useless, I can’t even remember who they are!”

  10. Charley Says:

    Patrick, Very clean and concise writing!
    Well done.

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