Tick, tock

The Giro d’Italia served up a real quad-snapper of an individual time trial today. Alas, the Black Knight failed to achieve his primary goal (“None shall pass!”), which in this case meant putting everyone to the sword and skipping gaily to the final maglia rosa.

Consigliere Pelkey and I were calling the action at Live Update Guy, and it was rarely dull — for a time trial, anyway. ‘Is Lordship flatted and still managed to finish second, so fair play to him. But I still hope someone else is wearing the pink shirt when it’s all over.

For some reason I just can’t warm up to Wiggo’. Racial memory, no doubt. One of his ancestors probably had one of mine drawn and quartered for pig theft, public drunkenness or some other shameless act of knavery.

I bet the folks at Pinarello are getting a tad weary of watching the Black Knight chucking their nifty bikes about like empty packets of crisps, too. If he keeps it up he’s liable to have both the IRA and the Mafia after his narrow ass.

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13 Responses to “Tick, tock”

  1. Marc Says:

    Dearest PO’G,
    Somehow I feel the same way. BBSW’s mishaps seem to give me a bad case of schadenfreude, almost as much as HWSNBN. Wiggo is, however, comparatively blameless, and certainly a great cyclist. Perhaps it was last year’s TdF, when poor Froome turned himself inside out for Wiggo. Or just blind envy.
    Please keep up the good work, and do not lose an ounce of your snark. Tip of the hat to Mr. Carroll there.

  2. Steve O Says:

    Tech question. Are TT bikes required to have front and rear brakes? Seems you’d save some weight, but more importantly, some drag by ditching the front brake, which wouldn’t be that big of a deal as long as the course didn’t have serious hairpins. Or, if you were riding behind me, since I’m too wide of a load to get around without some two wheeled gymnastics.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Steve, it used to be that — on this side of the pond, anyway — only one brake was required for a road time trial, and a guy could run a fixed gear if he liked. John Frey routinely rode fixed at Moriarty, pushing some hideous gear like 53×13. It was fun watching him get that bad boy rolling. I have a photo around here somewhere, just can’t remember quite where.

      These days I think the UCI’s Big Book of Rules™ requires both front and rear stoppers, derailleurs and a whole bunch of other stuff that they seem to be making up as they go along, like the prophets in “Life of Brian.”

  3. Steve O Says:

    BBSBW seems to have laid on the dour with a trowel after becoming a GC guy. I seem to recall this funny, irreverent track cyclist named Wiggins, but it can’t be the same guy.

  4. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    “I come from a land down under
    Where beer does flow and men chunder
    Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
    You better run, you better take cover.”

    Seems Cadel also has some distant memory of how English fellows treated his ancestors. If I didn’t know my grandfather came from Ireland, I would claim he was from down under. Went there in November of 1970 for a week. Nice place.

    • chris Says:

      Brave Brave Sir Wiggum is of convict stock via his dad and, to all reports, the old man did his fair share of chundering.

  5. Larry T. Says:

    The past week of the Giro has illustrated to me just how incomplete Wiggins is as a rider compared to Evans or Nibali. He’s a supercharged, hemi-head V8 engine in a shopping-cart chassis. Almost won the chrono despite cornering like a wheelbarrow full of mercury while the guys with smaller engines were railing the curves like MOTOGP. He should wait until La Corsa Rosa goes into France to try his luck, perhaps on French roads his limited arsenal can be effective as it was last year at LeTour? Even BigMig was a pretty decent descender in his day, but Wiggo seems to be pretty much all motor and nothing else at present. I don’t believe guys like that should win Grand Tours…though they do in France quite often it seems.

    • Patrick O'Brien Says:

      “cornering like a wheel barrow full of mercury…….” Larry, that is so good! Patrick, that’s a lick you should steal, as J. J. Cale would say.

      Larry, I agree with you about Wiggo. I guess when you are a pro you have to put up with my sorry analysis. But I think without Froome, he would not have won the tour. And I haven’t seen anyone descend like the Falcon. Like a stone.

    • David Rees Says:

      +1 on the “wheel barrow” quote Larry – spot on IMHO. Dude can ride, Rivals our host here in the wordsmith department. Wiggo can ride, no doubt, but there’s something not quite “right” about the guy. Loved the Targa museum write up on your blog BTW. A place I HAVE to get to before I die.

  6. Larry T. Says:

    Feel free to add the wheelbarrow phrase to your lexicon – it’s been so long since I stole it from someone else I can’t remember who it was – as they say, “ya can’t make this s__t up!” SKY apologists are tripping all over themselves now that “marginal gains” seems to have gone off the rails…but of course all the problems are chalked up to bad luck rather than any fault of their own. The other thought line I find interesting is Wiggo’s stated unhappiness that Sean Yates is no longer barking at him through the earpiece. Yates was no slouch when it came to fast descents, perhaps he used to coo into Sir Bradley’s ear and talk him down these things? But of course once SKY realized their number 1 objective, Le Beeg Shew, they could then ditch any rider or staff with a hint of doping scandal – we’ll have to wait and see how big an effect those guys had…and perhaps ask (again) why they waited until AFTER Wiggo was safely in Paris in yellow, before ditching guys whose past they well knew about long before?

  7. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    Shut up legs! I guess Jensie and the Badger have something in common. “If I breathe, I attack.” I wish I could have seen it.

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