No Furthur

Magic Bus

A magic trip, indeed.

Today’s first stage of Le Shew Beeg on Corsica proved once again that comedy is incapable of matching reality pedal stroke for pedal stroke, and indeed may have fallen off in a roundabout somewhere and been run over by a publicity-caravan vehicle, strafed by a French jet or run through by Napoleon’s ghost.

If the poor sod who stuffed the Orica-GreenEdge bus under the finish-line scaffolding didn’t instantly get the ax, he will spend the remainder of the 2013 Tour enduring bus-stop jokes.

“Dude, you shouldn’t be driving the tall bus, you should be riding on the short bus!” That sort of thing.

This is horribly unkind to people who really do suffer from cognitive impairment, like the feckin’ eejits who decided to move the finish line out 3km only to move it back again in less time than it took The Gorilla to decide he’d had enough of that bullshit, rip off his own derailleur and eat it.

Jesus wept. The guys in charge of Ken Kesey’s bus had it more together than this lot, and they were all on acid.

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16 Responses to “No Furthur”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    It could have been worse, right?

  2. Stan Thomas Says:

    Bit unfair. Seems the Orica driver was told to go that way and the finish line gantry is normally high enough for the buses to drive under. But they drop it down when all the traffic has cleared. Bit of a cock-up but the driver is probably the hapless victim of circumstance.

  3. JF Says:

    As the saying goes: “you can’t make this shit up!”

  4. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    At least someone thought to let the air out of the tires to allow the bus to escape. Wonder if they got the AC fixed?

  5. Derek Lenahan Says:

    I blame the organization. Like they didn’t have a count on team buses. That being said I am with Charles. What do you call this? a cluster…

  6. md anderson Says:

    Acid might have helped actually…not that I would know or anything.

  7. brokenlinkjournalism Says:

    Only the French could screw up counting…..

  8. Larry T. Says:

    The whole thing is laughable for sure. Since I drive a van loaded with expensive bicycles on a roof rack all over Italy, I’m ALWAYS looking up when there’s ANY kind of clearance issue and know what the height limits are with anything we drive under – and if not, I’m leaning out the window checking it BEFORE I drive under.

    I would expect anyone driving a bus like that to do the same, though I can remember years ago on the Col d’Iseran seeing a bus stuck on one of the switchback turns because the driver failed to arc around the turn enough to keep the ass-end of the bus from hitting the asphalt. The rear wheels were lifted up just enough to prevent the bus from going ANYWHERE…blocking the road in both directions! Wonder what the costs were for the huge tow truck to fix that mess?

    3 km from the finish was the only other place they could accurately record the placings and times, but neutralizing the entire stage seemed fair to me after the comedy of errors by the organizers and some of the contestants.

    Vive LeTour! Easy to say from here in Italy where I don’t have to endure anything French 🙂

  9. John Says:

    PO’G, I’m typically as cynical, sarcastic, and derisive as the next guy (especially if the next guy happens to be someone like, well, you), but I gotta side with Stan and Derek on this one. The course is under the control of the race organization and, I would imagine, anyone on the course has to do exactly what they say. If you want to know what happens when someone driving on the course decides to do their own thing, just as Flecha and Hoogerland, they’ll tell you how well that works out. As I see it, the race organization fucked this one up. They don’t have any excuse either ’cause I’m pretty sure this ain’t their first rodeo; in fact, as it’s often being said, it’s their 100th.

    It’s easy to second guess how they responded to the situation now, and maybe neutralizing the whole thing would have been a better idea, but everything worked out. Had they left the finish at 3k to go, now that had the potential for disaster (as Larry said).

    At the risk of sounding upbeat (new thing for me), all’s well that ends well.

  10. John Says:

    Update: From the “You fucked up, you trusted us” file once again, some news from the TdF: Orica-Greenedge has been fined 1600 Euros for following directions given by tour officials (by their account) and getting their bus stuck: http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/tour-de-france-shorts-orica-greenedge-fined-crashes-and-more-in-bastia

  11. tj Says:

    the team was fined because the bus driver was late. If he had been on time, the gantry would have been high enough. That doesnt excuse them waving him through, but wtf was he doing in the intervening 4 hours. All the other team buses mad it on time.

  12. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    I wonder what derailleur tastes like? Is it better with wax based chain lube, you know, like a supermarket cucumber?

    They should have hired Dirty Robbie to drive that bus. No telling what it would have looked like afterwards, but Robbie would have gotten that bus past the finish line. Now that would have been entertainment!

  13. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    On a really bright note, there is rain here! Mountains getting it really good, and we had a good shower an hour ago with a storm heading this way right now. Fill up my rain barrels! Yea.

  14. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    On a really dark note, sorry folks, there is very bad news from Prescott.

    Damn fires.

    http://www.dcourier.com/main.asp?SectionID=1&SubSectionID=1&ArticleID=120764

  15. Dale Says:

    Patrick,

    You can have my rain. I’ve got enough water flowing into my basement drain to douse every fire in the west. And the next twelve days call for more of it.

    • Patrick O'Brien Says:

      I would take it and dump on a patch of Arizona right by Prescott, if I could. Thanks, Dale, for the thought. I remember the all night, steady whine of the sump pump when visiting my brother in Northern Illinois a few years ago. I found it annoying; he thought it was comforting.

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