Torch song, scored for tuba

This is from The Onion, right?

I had an Olympic movement once, but it never made the paper. Unless Charmin counts.

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14 Responses to “Torch song, scored for tuba”

  1. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    Might not be a winter olympics if Snowden takes a dump at KGB headquarters. That would get mclame and graham cracker’s panties in a twist.

  2. khal spencer Says:

    Speaking of civic stupidity. We had a mud volleyball match last weekend here in The Town Formerly Known as Atomic City**. I would have gone had they advertised it as being done in thong bikinis, but never heard that would be the case. Besides, my wife would have killed me.

    ** Our county council recently spent 50k of our hard earned money to “rebrand” Los Alamos with a name having less to do with those nasty nuclear things that go boom. I suppose they are happy to take the gross receipts tax from the Laboratory, though, and these fat government paychecks that float the very silliness the Council comes up with.

  3. John in GJ Says:

    “190 tons of sand brought onto Tejon Street”

    My cats will be right over.

    • khal spencer Says:

      Mine too.

      • John in GJ Says:

        I dunno, Khal, I got a 19 pound Maine Coon so there may not be any sand left over.

        And whereas your town was formally known as “Atomic City”, Grand Junction was informally known as “Uranium City”. We had a uranium mill down by the river and for several years in the late ’50s and early ’60s uranium mill tailings were used in concrete all over the town making sidewalks and foundations radioactive. Even the county fairgrounds were once known as “Uranium Downs”. There’s something about a town that embraces radioactivity….that something is often called cancer.

  4. James Says:

    How in the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks is ‘orienteering’ even a sport? Underwater basket weaving, maybe…..but wandering around like a fool? What’s next drunken darts? Speed Golf (don’t tell the mucky-mucks at Competitor about that one, right Bob Babbitt)? Now sand volleyball – as opposed to beach volleyball I guess – is sport!!! Nothing says sport like girls in bikinis and sand!!

    • john Says:

      Actually, orienteering is a real sport, and a hard one, too. I know a top-class XC skier who took up orienteering when she moved to England for graduate work, and rapidly became world-ranked on the strength of (a) a tremendous engine and (b) ferocious intelligence.

  5. Larry T. Says:

    As they say, you can’t make s__t like this up! Free sandbags? Wow!

  6. Steve O Says:

    It’s a travesty that arm wrasslin’ doesn’t have full medal status.

  7. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    “I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.”

    After 35 years this still applies to some situations.

  8. Patrick O'Brien Says:

  9. john Says:

    So, Patrick, do you qualify for the “dog agility” contest?

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