Interbike 2013: Leaving Las Vegas

As has become traditional in these outings, a storm chased me out of town, finally catching me in Santa Fe.

As has become traditional in these outings, a storm chased me out of town, finally catching me in Santa Fe.

BIBLEBURG, Colo. (MDM) — After all these years you’d think I would know better than to try to blog from Sin City. I should just post a “Closed Until Further Notice” sign and save us all the aggravation.

I attend Interbike for three primary reasons: First, to gather salable intelligence for my various employers; second, to reassure said employers in our one get-together per annum that, despite all published evidence to the contrary, I am not a rabid dog hellbent on biting the hand that feeds me; and third, to reassure the reading audience that I am a rabid dog hellbent on biting the hand that feeds me and somehow getting away with it. Which I am, of course. (Don’t tell my employers.)

It’s quite a tightrope to walk for an antisocial old drunkard who has trouble navigating a wide sidewalk after happy hour. And it’s particularly sketchy when I’m bunking in a casino hotel with all the ambience of a Donna Summer retrospective in Hell. Never again. It was a 20-minute walk from my room to the show and I never left the building.

When I finally hit the door running I was very tired of the sound of my own voice and desperate for a smoke-free environment, proper music and the open road.

As I battled traffic on Flamingo a roadside political scientist announced via hand-lettered poster that Jewish communists control the media. He never met the crowd I work for; a variety of faiths, creeds and religions, but capitalists one and all. Racing the commuters through Henderson I saw a disintegrating paceline fighting a massive headwind on a gradual climb. Glancing at the dash I noticed it was 96 degrees outside. Who’s crazy here? I wondered.

Me, of course.

Editor’s note: Coming up — a few bikes from Interbike 2013 that an adventurous cyclist might find interesting.

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7 Responses to “Interbike 2013: Leaving Las Vegas”

  1. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    Welcome back to the world. Went to Vegas once in 1987 for the U.S. Archery indoor championships. The archery was good, the rest, well I have never returned.

  2. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    PS: Tuesday morning my better half, slicing eggplant with a new, German made, wicked sharp mandolin, attempted to add a little protein to the ratatouille in the form of about a 1/4 inch of her fingertip. Off to the emergency room since the doctor said can’t get you in until 1530. I said I wasn’t sure she had the blood volume to wait until then. So, I have been housebound, save a blessed 2 hours on the ES yesterday. She is getting better although the vicodin does not agree with her at all.

  3. Khal Spencer Says:

    Get well wishes to your better half, Patrick, and welcome back wishes to the other Patrick.

  4. Libby Says:

    Welcome back, Patrick!
    To complement the surreal goings-on during your L.V. stay and road trip the ad below your blog is “The Cap’n Crunch Show”. The good Cap’n interviews Burt Reynolds in a bowl of cereal standing in for a Las Vegas jacuzzi.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Libby, I gotta do something about those ads. I’ve been noticing them when not logged in and they give me a case of the ass. It’s just a matter of paying a little protection money to WordPress. “Hey, what could I tell you? You could be dead in an ad accident. …”

  5. Larry T. Says:

    Glad to hear you made it outta there alive. I pay for my own lodging in Sin City and stopped with the casino/cigarette smoke a few years ago in favor of Fairfield Inn. They have one not too far away from the Mandalay Bay and free shuttle service as well as breakfast. I did need a couple of cab rides, one from the rental car return place and another from the crit, plus one from the show back to the airport, but I’d rather give the loot to cabbies than casino hotel owners! I must admit to being generally underwhelmed with the “stuff to buy/sell” side of the bike show these days…to me it’s all about the people…but two days (one night) still more than enough.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I usually stay at the Fairfield on Paradise, Larry. Which one did you use this year? Ain’t no way I’m going back to the Luxor, which must be Egyptian for “Give me your wallet and don’t try any funny stuff.”

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