Indica ciclavia

Roll another one. ...

Roll another one. …

Meanwhile, hot on the heels of the news that Apple wants to get drivers playing with their cars instead of driving them comes this tale of stoned cycling from “The Cannabist,” The Denver Post‘s ganja gazette (hey, it can’t be all Broncos, all the time; not after that Super Bowl, anyway).

I’m old enough to have cycled while stoned in an era when (a) you couldn’t buy the shit at Buds ‘r’ Us, and (2) if you wrote about it for your city editor he wouldn’t read it because he was on a three-day bender somewhere. The assistant city editor would chuckle, tear it up, and reassign you to cover the cop shop until you got your mind right.

Being that old, and having grown less resilient over the decades, especially when it comes to high-speed contact with the ground, I’d prefer that the folks sharing the trails and streets with me have their minds right and keep ’em that way until they get home, where they can do whatever they please.

Plenty of my fellow cyclists appear to lack many basic skills already, and piling impaired judgment on top of that regrettably sparse skill set strikes me as … well, as impaired judgment. Add a pair of earbuds and what you have is a dumb bomb seeking a target.

Jesus. MFA poets writing about stoned cycling for The Denver Post. Another thing I’m old enough to remember? When The Post was a real newspaper.

Meanwhile, congratulations are in order to a cyclist who almost certainly was not stoned, though he was certainly burning a fatty — Ned Overend, who over the weekend won the inaugural U.S. National Fat Bike Championship in Wisconsin.

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16 Responses to “Indica ciclavia”

  1. Libby Says:

    I read the article. I’m with your response. It’s an impairment issue not a therapeutic or entertainment issue.

  2. Pat O'Brien Says:

    “The Lung” Overend again gives hope to the over 55 riders like me. My older brother just called and said he got a stent put in over the weekend. The old shoveling snow and getting left arm pain trick. I was going to blow off this morning’s ride due to wind and pollen. I did not. Call it stent prevention.

  3. Steve O Says:

    I left the box unchecked on Prop 64 … Seems kinda ridiculous that we can doctor-shop our way into an OxyContin addiction, drink until our livers melt into the other neighborhood organs, or fill a nebulizer with paint thinner or airplane glue, but you can’t split a bud with a bud unless you’re in the 303 or the 206. Having said that, Prop 64 was up there with the 2nd Amendment in terms of poorly defined terms and second order consequences.

    Imagine that … a bunch of stoners write a bill, and didn’t think it all the way through? You don’t say.

  4. khal spencer Says:

    I’m with you on the plea to save the Firesign Theatre Listening Enhancement Recipe ’till one is safely home and staying there. My few excursions into operating various vehicles while off in the clouds, so to speak, came close to ending in tragedy. Fortunately in both cases, I came to my senses before meeting the front of a Buick or ending up as the guy asked to rise in that courtroom.

    In one of those instances, I defogged enough to find myself riding my bicycle home at 3 a.m. but in the oncoming lane of a 55 mph divided highway on Long Island. Not sure how many motorists at that hour had to avoid assisting me in my rush to meet my maker. In the other case, as an undergrad in Rochester, and at an equally wee hour, I came out of the fog to notice I was driving my car down the wrong side of a 35 mph highway, U.S. 15, with girlfriend and one of her lady friends in the back seat, equally unconscious from various organic chemistry experiments. I pulled into the first available all night diner and parked the car next to some cop cars,as that was where the spaces were, and bought us all a leisurely breakfast.

    Admittedly I was not a role model for sane driving during my misspent youth as an undergraduate. I think my first two years at Rochester could have been the basis for the character John Blutarsky in Animal House–at one point the Dean sent me a letter to that effect. Hard to believe now. The good news is there were about half as many Americans as we have now, so there was half the chance of meeting them grille to grille or grille to handlebars. Lucky me.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Mostly someone else was behind the wheel in my stoner days. I didn’t get a driver’s license until near the end of my first year in college, and then promptly lost it (and my first car) by driving into the path of a train.

      And no, I was not high at the time.

      Didn’t get another license and vehicle until I finally graduated from college. And then, I did my motoring largely as God intended: while snot-slinging, commode-hugging drunk.

      Every day I wake up and don’t see bars on the window, I know it’s going to be a good day.

    • Steve O Says:

      Wasn’t there some guy who won a big bike race in France whole bunch of times recently told Dr Phil he was a lifetime doper?

      Somebody tweeted right after he confirmed the interview, “He should be commended for biking on drugs. I tried it once and hit a mailbox and woke up in a ditch.”

  5. James Says:

    I wonder what some of those late 90s downhillers think of all this? Trying to remember who it was that got popped by the UCI for having too much THC in his system. I can understand (to a point) that it may be ‘performance enhancing’ but could never understand why it was considered “doping” by the UCI.

    If Floyd could use the “I was in the bar slamming beers with my friends” excuse then why couldn’t Miles say “I was just hanging out at home smoking with some friends?”

  6. Larry T. Says:

    Don’t know much about whacky-tabacky, but read somewhere driving stoned is not as bad as driving drunk. These days I worry as much about the sober morons texting or otherwise fooling around instead of watching where they’re going in their motorized bank vaults. Off to NAHBS early tomorrow AM and might even get outside on two-wheels myself later today.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Hey, Larry … I’m headed that way tonight, getting in late. Shoot me a note tomorrow and we’ll see about catching up. Adventure Cyclist editor Mike Deme is a fine fellow of Italian extraction and always looking for tippling comrades.

      • Weaksides Says:

        Damnit…have fun in the Queen City guys. I’m headed home from rehab tomorrow where I’ll enjoy my first beer in just under 3 weeks. I was supposed to try to meet up with you guys down there instead; but my plans have obviously changed.

        Have wee dram or two for me boys!

      • Pat O'Brien Says:

        Remember Weaksides, Guiness Stout is a health food. So is Fat Tire! Mental heath, that is.

      • Larry T. Says:

        P O’G I sent a number that will ring a dumb phone that is usually within earshot. I should be at the show around midday Friday and through early Sunday. Get well Weaksides, we’ll miss ya!

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