Blue bird, red nose

The affordable made-in-America Co-Motion Bluebird starts at $2,995.

The affordable made-in-America Co-Motion Bluebird starts at $2,995.

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (MDM) — We took one more spin around the show floor on Friday, the Adventure Cyclist folks and I, and then I got the hell out of Dodge — but not before I collected a nasty case of Snotlocker Surprise®, which didn’t fully manifest itself until I got home Saturday afternoon.

interbike-bugI hadn’t been sick in a good long while, and I was taking the usual sanitary precautions during the show, but there were plenty of sneezers and wheezers in attendance and one of them must have drilled me with a booger-bomb.

A sore throat, plugged sinuses and the general feeling of having been et by a coyote and shit off a cliff is what I get for making jokey videos about drugs. Now I’m actually taking some, and they are far from mind-expanding, though one may hope that Claritin-D 12-Hour is at least nostril-expanding.

Before the cooties took root in my snoot we checked out the new Bluebird tandem from the fine folks at Co-Motion as well as a Traitor Wander, which sounds like a command but is actually a bicycle. The Ortlieb guys had one at the booth, wearing their bags, and after some brisk negotiations with the Traitors I wound up taking one home with me. No doubt there was a certain segment of the Bicycle Retailer readership that, upon seeing me in the company of a Traitor, muttered, “I knew it!”

An Arizona parfait, as shot through the passenger window.

An Arizona parfait, as shot through the passenger window.

With a bike in hand, I abruptly decided it was time to go. I’d had all the secondhand smoke I could bear, the omnipresent background music was starting to sound like the Prince song “Nothing Compares 2 U” as interpreted by Don Vito Corleone, and I was sick of watching people play with their phones. When the alien archaeologists root through our leavings they will posit that we were a feeble race of eejits with detachable rectangular genitalia that we were always stroking.

I beat it for Flagstaff and more or less went straight to bed, then spent Saturday morning lazing around the Hampton, grazing on the free breakfast, and failing to upload that White Walkers video (the Hampton’s upload speeds are even worse than mine).

Then it was the old zoom-zoom to Duke City, where the traditional multicar pileup at I-40 and San Mateo added an extra 20 minutes in first gear to the last miles of my pilgrimage. I had camping gear with me and was tempted to pitch my tent in the fast lane but then the traffic started moving again and I was homeward bound at last, mumbling along with Tom Waits’ “Swordfishtrombone”:

Well, he came home from the war
with a party in his head
and a modified Brougham DeVille
and a pair of legs that opened up
like butterfly wings
and a mad dog that wouldn’t
sit still
he went and took up with a Salvation Army
Band girl
who played dirty water
on a swordfishtrombone
he went to sleep at the bottom of
Tenkiller Lake
and he said “Gee, but it’s
great to be home.”





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10 Responses to “Blue bird, red nose”

  1. Sharon Says:

    Las Vegas is one icky place…eeeew. Hope you are feeling better. Fresh air will do wonders.

  2. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Wow, smoke will do it. Irritate the nasal passages, then all the bad guys work their way in. Hope you get better quick! That Traitor looks pretty neat. Looks like they had to go pretty far down the Shimano component food chain to get 9 speed stuff. Maybe SOMA, Surly, and Salsa have a little company. The Co-Motion looks good; that’s no surprise. The price is.
    The ragweed is in bloom here, including in my shit head neighbor’s yard, and it’s starting to dry out. I now consider benadryl to be preventative medicine.

  3. khal spencer Says:

    I’m glad to see that the folks in Eugene are putting 110-74 BCD cranks back on tandems. We old geezers who are overweight and living in the Land of Ten Percent Grades were pretty much forgotten in the stampede to 130-74 cranks and big chainrings. I’ll have to call up Dwan and ask him how to order some for our Primera tandem. Assuming, of course, the cranks and bottom brackets are set up for 145 mm rear spacing. I’d love to go back to 48-36-24 chainrings. Or something similar.

  4. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Good morning Patrick. Hope the nose has opened up. Take the neti pot and flush the rest of Vegas out of your head.
    Raining since 0400 with 1.75 inches on the gauge right now. No riding today, or tomorrow morning according the weather folks.

  5. JerryM Says:

    For Khal… check out the Sugino XD 110/74 tandem cranksets. Won’t they work for you?

    • khal spencer Says:

      Getting the right bottom bracket for the tandem rear spacing is the deal. I figure CoMo must have the whole set handy.

  6. David R Says:

    I swore off LV & Interbike 3 years ago – I simply could not subject myself to its horrors another single second. Truly, one of the worst places on the planet, and I’ve seen a good deal of the planet. I’ve missed meeting up with friends there to be sure (hey Larry T!), but the soul crushing hangover from the experience completely overwhelmed the fun of catching up with people. You escaped with a mild case of LV disease Patrick – consider yourself lucky.

    • Larry T. Says:

      Ciao Davide! Missed seeing you, but understand perfectly the reasons you weren’t there. I guess the pure-biz portion of the industry loves Sin City while the lifestyle side hates it, but now that cycling’s truly morphed into that “new golf” mentality I think we’re stuck with it for awhile. I’m still sucking on zinc lozenges hoping to avoid ending up like PO’G, especially with the World’s in Richmond, VA this weekend!

  7. Libby Says:

    Hope you feel better soon, Patrick! Enjoy the Traitor.

  8. Lost in the Gorge Says:

    Get well soon Dog… We all wish you much improved health.

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