Road work redux

The High Desert neighborhood makes a fine proving ground for touring machinery, with rolling terrain, light traffic and bike lanes.

The High Desert neighborhood makes a fine proving ground for touring machinery, with rolling terrain, light traffic and bike lanes.

Yesterday was one of those insanely busy days that should never afflict the underemployed. We’re not equipped for it.

The Marrakesh Express (c'mon, you knew it was coming sooner or later, right?).

The Marrakesh Express (c’mon, you knew it was coming sooner or later, right?).

With deadlines flitting around my scalp like Hunter S. Thompson’s Barstow bats I committed a few crimes against cycling, emailing back and forth with product managers, marketing wizards and editors; swapping bits of this and that from one bike to another; and bending fender stays around disc calipers, cutting all corners that looked even remotely cuttable, and beating on anything that wouldn’t cut with my favorite tool, the Bravo Foxtrot Hotel (look it up).

Then, before blasting off to the Whole Paycheck for supplies and liberating the Turk from the Nazi war dentist, I managed a brisk, 45-minute ride on the Salsa Marrakesh with full panniers.

It wasn’t actually snowing, which was nice —the temps were in the lower 40s, and I will even go so far as to say that this did not suck, not for January. You may quote me if you like.

This morning it was precipitating again, and Your Humble Narrator was all about writing bikes rather than riding them. Also, furthermore, moreover and too, there was the doctoring of the Turk, the roasting of the poblanos outdoors in a light snowfall, and the cooking of a medium-sized pot of lamb and white bean chili.

Speaking of cooking, now I seem to be slightly baked for some reason.

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28 Responses to “Road work redux”

  1. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Well, at least tomorrow is mostly sunny there and here. Our forecasted high is 10 degrees warmer than yours, but still way below normal for both locations. We shall “endeavor to persevere.” And, tell El Nino to get off our lawn!

    • khal spencer Says:

      If I tried sticking the 1911 in my pants that way, you can be sure that I would be sterilized in a matter of hours.

  2. Steve O Says:


    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Man, I don’t know how you folks with jobs and children bear it. Three part-time gigs, two cats and one dog surely do fill up the daylight hours, if any, which lately not so much.

  3. bromasi Says:

    speaking of Hunter S. Thompson we sure need him now and throw in a little George Carlin

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      For real. I’d like to hear him channeling J.D. Salinger on the Catcher In the Rye Liberation Front: “The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.”

  4. Pat O'Brien Says:

    I am Frisbeetarian. I call myself Captain Hippy Dippy Man. Do you know of a wildlife refuge I can occupy rent free for a month or so?

    “Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.”
    George Carlin

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I follow the teachings of Timothy Leary’s brother, Really Leary, who says that when you die, your soul goes to a garage in Buffalo.

    • Pat O'Brien Says:

      I’m just trying to save up enough money to buy a front rack for the Saga. Tubus stuff gives me sticker shock. Plus, I would like to have a rack trunk up front so my old legs can clear the back rack when trying to get on the damn thing.

    • khal spencer Says:

      Regarding those Brave Sir Robbins who are part of the Bird Sanctuary Liberation Front. Charles Blow, in this week’s NY Times, reminded us of something Ronnie Rayguns said about the Black Panthers when they showed up brandishing smokepoles at the California State Capitol.

      “I don’t think that loaded guns is the way to solve a problem that should be solved between people of good will. And anyone who would approve of this kind of demonstration must be out of their mind.”

      But I don’t see the National Retard Association supporting a Mulford Act analog when its fat, middle aged right wing honkies whose IQs are outsized by their 5.56’s.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        I’m sure you’re mistaken. St. Ronnie of Santa Barbara would never say such a thing. Must’ve been King, Gandhi or one of them other off-brand com’nist-type fellas.

      • Pat O'Brien Says:

        Perhaps their collective IQs are outsized by one 0.223.

        The one guy up there, LaVoy Finicum, is from Colorado City, home of Warren Jeffs and other Fundamentalist LDS types. This is what happens when you don’t cut out a cancer. Law enforcement afraid to go in there. Shame the tumor is in Arizona and Utah towns on the border.

        Another asshat up there, Ammon Bundy, comes from Phoenix. Latest from him is that he’s on a mission from god. Remind you of anything? Unnecessary force is authorized in the apprehension of the shit heads in the refuge.

        First thing to do is turn off the utilities to those buildings. Then issue warrants for every one of them and deliver them in person. Clear the surrounding area as a crime scene and let the assholes freeze or surrender.

      • khal spencer Says:

        Word, Pat.

  5. Jon Paulos Says:

    How is the Turk? Did the transport involve plate armor as protection? Does the dentist still have all their digits and blood still? Does the follow up care involve leather gloves and welding masks?

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I’d take a picture of him in his Hannibal Lecter transport cage, but I’m afraid he’d get me for that.

      Turk had a couple of teeth pulled and the others cleaned, and he’s been on pain meds and antibiotics since. Sure is fun trying to stuff drugs into a face that’s sore and pissed off and full of newly shiny teefers eager for vengeance.

      The occupation continues. Send snacks. That is all.

      • Jon Paulos Says:

        Yow. Our Oscar turns from friendly kitty to knife-wielding homicidal maniac when pills get involved, and the current solution is Pill Pockets, from the same people that make Greenies treats. At this point (until he catches on) it turns the evil pills into soft treats with crunchy centers. Good luck.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Thanks for the tip, Jon. We’ll check those out. Turk loves his Greenies.

        We’re doing pretty well with the pain meds, which taste like tuna. It’s the antibiotics that turn him into the Turkinator.

  6. larryatcycleitalia Says:

    A balmy 9 degrees American here in the plains of Iowa. Quite a shock from LA yesterday where it cleared up nicely once my bike was securely packed away until (maybe) December when we head back out there. Might have to get on the dreaded trainer in the next few days since there won’t be any real, outdoor cycling until I get down to Sicily around the 20th of January.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Nine? Yeech. Not so bad here. We have a forecast that calls for a solid week of just above freezing, but sunny. But today the wind was blowing like a mofo, and after clearing the driveway I decided to spend another day wrapping up some indoor chores.

      Tomorrow I ride, though. Maybe even one of my own bikes for a change.

    • David Rees Says:

      Had a feeling you’d already packed up Larry and couldn’t ride. I finally even got my dead butt on the bike yesterday in glorious 60 degree temps and no wind. My sunshine taxes got paid up the day before so it felt like I was riding for free. Made it a whole hour and a half before I returned home and fell into a lunchtime glass of Zin.

      • larryatcycleitalia Says:

        Wish I coulda stayed ’till it cleared up, but in reality had plenty of riding in Santa Barbara so can’t complain – unless it’s about 9 degrees American here on the frozen plains. But I’m outta here on Thursday for ITALIA and will be in Sicily by the 19th.. so who really cares?

  7. Boz Says:

    Fired up a big pot of red and a pan of corn bread. Hit the spot after snow blowing the estate’s very long driveway on -18 f weather (-34 windchill). Went for a short run, left the carbon/aluminum steeds in the garage. Tropical Northern Minnesota at last!

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