I got your scoop right here

Extry, extry, read all about it!

Extry, extry, read all about it!

Charlie Pierce, as usual, is spot on when he calls out The Associated Press for its shameless eyeball-hogging stunt declaring the Hilldebeast the presumptive Donk nominee the day before primaries in a half dozen states — New Mexico among them.

Happily, I cast my ballot for Comrade Eeyore early, on Saturday, before the AP could tell me I was wasting my time. Whether this news flash depresses today’s turnout and affects down-ballot contests remains to be seen. But just in case, the dickhead who greenlighted that stupid horse-race piece should be compelled to write “IT’S AN ELECTION, NOT AN ERECTION, SO QUIT PLAYING WITH IT” in letters a hundred feet high on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.

It’s true, of course, that Comrade Eeyore can’t heehaw his way out of this beating. But as Mr. Pierce notes, he and his supporters should feel free to campaign right up to the convention. Make his arguments to the bitter end, and hold the Hilldebeast’s hooves to the fire in hopes of stopping her from pivoting back to the center in the general.

Plus she needs a sparring partner to keep her sharp and on her toes for the main event come November. That dude fights dirty.

• Addendum: Also, Paul “Lyin'” Ryan wants to have his tasty Bag o’ Dicks and eat ’em, too. This posing pissant is banking on a Trump-thumping and a one-term Hilldebeast. He started his 2020 campaign long before the AP called this one.

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8 Responses to “I got your scoop right here”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    Word. We need to keep Comrade Eeyore’s folks engaged into November, unless one prefers the phrase “President Trump”

  2. khal spencer Says:

    thanks, bud!

  3. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Ryan’s face tells the story when he talks about the Dumpster. Mouths says one thing, the face says “I can’t believe I said I will vote for a racist asshole.” The Turtle looks like he just swallowed a turd when he speaks of the Dumpster. All they want is to get re-elected. If you are looking for cojones in Congress, then feel the Bern. But, Wasserman, super delegates, and the oligarchs pulling the strings are going to stick it to him. BOHICA, Bernie. I wish I could be optimistic, but the AP tool shows that money talks and truth walks.

  4. Steve O Says:

    Every year something new happens that reminds me that our election process is a total farce

    Both parties run primaries totally by the seat of their pants. Instead of being responsive to their constituents, they try to tweak the rules to make something unique, to attract more attention and therefore either dollars or favors.

    This week’s question is: why does anyone in the media think we give a fiddler’s fart about their declarations of victory? Last time I checked, they were non-governmental organizations. Stick to reporting the news, like, after it happens

    We get all wrapped around the axle about these declarations, whether it is a candidate conceding or newspaper declaring. As if saying “uncle” has legal weight to it, or you get points for guessing right first.

    Is the how a 240 year old democracy, or the student government of Lucy G. Barnsley Elementary School in East Butt, Nebraska?

  5. JD Dallager Says:

    Look on the bright side…..atleast it was more accurate than “Dewey Beats Truman”.

    Somewhat related, I’ve always wondered why the headline writers don’t have their name in fine print just below the headline. ?? Might put a bit more accountability and, dare I say it, integrity in that part of the printed media.

    • John in GJ Says:

      Well, at least “Dewey Defeats Truman” was published the day after the election, not the day before.

  6. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Clinton giving her speech now. I have no words to describe this window dressing posing as an election.

    • Cranky Old Guy on a bike Says:

      If the electoral process were so important, why would the true leaders give us yokels in the cheapseats any say in the matter? I am still retting ready to move north is the talking yam wins and feeling skittish as a proverbial long tail cat on the porch of rockers

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