Fort Apache

Finally, a taste of actual fall weather.

Finally, a taste of actual fall weather.

I’m in Albuquerque, working on a bike review and watching it rain. Herself is bound for Mesa Verde on the next leg of her Gal Pals Getaway Tour.

And somewhere in the southern Arizona desert, the Three Percent United Patriots are making headlines, if only in Mother Jones magazine.

Anyone who has ever lived out where the hoot owls date the chickens has met at least one of these dudes. In Weirdcliffe it was the cowboy who claimed to have edibles and weaponry cached all over the Sangre de Cristos and inquired whether we would be “ready to kill” when it all went sideways and the “Mexicans” came boiling up Hardscrabble Canyon to … to … well, get the hell out of Pueblo, I suppose. And who could blame them?

I got the hell out of Pueblo. I also got the hell out of Weirdcliffe. And I’ve spent a little time in the Threepers’ AO, though I never saw one. (“If you saw them, sir, they weren’t Threepers.”)

Just once I would love to read about the lefty variation on these dudes. There has to be one, amirite? The Sedona Extremely Irregulars? The 69th Berkeley Berserkers? The 420th Humboldt County Doobie Brethren?

Or maybe that particular ship has sailed, or sunk.

Back in the Seventies, when I thought I was Ho Ho Ho Chi Minh, the October League’s Denver chapter had just wrapped up another successful evening of smashing the State via withering rhetoric when a couple comrades mentioned that they used to be professional wrestlers.

“Bullshit,” someone said. And then they showed us, right there in the dark Denver alley. They were slamming each other into cars and up against walls, pounding each other with forearm smashes and trash-can lids, the works. It was entertaining as hell and absolutely nobody got hurt.

Then a window slammed open and someone advised us to shut the fuck up and we did. Shortly thereafter the revolution failed to materialize.


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23 Responses to “Fort Apache”

  1. Alexis Chateau Says:

    I’m so confused lol. What did I just read?

  2. larry brown Says:

    getting my passport ready, now in the hell were do I go

  3. larry brown Says:

    off topic, saw my first cyclecross race on TV, now that is bicycle racing.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Which one did you watch? The World Cups are killer. Usually a dozen cameras on course and drunkards lining the course eight deep, bellowing in Phlegmish.

    • Carl Duellman Says:

      there’s a youtube channel called ‘cyclocrossable’ that in years past has done a really good job of rebroadcasting the races from europe in hi-def. women’s races also sometimes. this year the guy seems to be slacking a bit as it’s only in 480p. keep an eye out for stephen hyde. he’s a local guy that has hit the big time. he delivered pizza to my house once.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I hate to confess it, but I haven’t watched a single solitary ‘cross race this season. used to be a pretty reliable source for ‘casts from Sporza and elsewhere. I’ll have a peek at your outfit.

      What is it with ‘crossers and food delivery? I delivered pizza as a sprout (OK, I wasn’t a ‘crosser then, but still). And Laurence Malone used to deliver burritos in Santa Fe. True fact.

  4. larry brown Says:

    Yep the world cup lots of Belgians(sic) parts of the course I couldn’t even walk up a bunch of tough men and women.

  5. Pat O'Brien Says:

    I haven’t run into any 3 percenters. But with bad hombres, evil clowns, raping and murdering immigrants, mooslim terrorists, and, yes, nasty women around every corner and under every bush we don’t go out much.

  6. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Well, the Mother Jones article is now on “All Things Considered” on NPR along with a mention in another piece on the NPR website of the “A Face in The Crowd” movie.”

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      The Threepers are famous! One wonders who else may have infiltrated their merry band. Surely there must be some FBI types who aren’t busy sifting through The Hilldebeast’s emails.

      Then again, maybe not. For one, they’re mostly white Christian folks. This fails to excite some law-enforcement types.

      • Larry T Says:

        Well, one would hope the FBI would be monitoring groups of kooks like these – but does it matter? All of these “security” organizations (NSA, CIA, etc.) rant about not having enough of the “tools” (meaning the OK to invade our privacy) to keep us safe, but how many times does it turn out they failed to connect-the-dots they already had on a terror scheme? But still they cry out for more dots, as if that’s the problem.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Apple’s apparently got some big hoo-hah going on tomorrow. Some folks are anticipating upgrades to the MacBook and iMac, but I’m betting on an Apple TV that watches you.


      • Pat O'Brien Says:


        I am seriously considering replacing the desktop iMac with a MacBook air. I would do it to save space. It would eliminate a computer desk and a printer shelf unit. Ready for what Mr. Cook has to say.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Pat, unless Apple gives the Air a Retina display, I’d nudge you up a notch to the 13-inch MacBook Pro. You get more power and a better display.

        I have two Pros (13- and 15-inch) and one Air (11-inch) and recently demoted the Air to kitchen computer because the display just wasn’t doing it for me (though I do like the portability of the tiny laptop).

        The big deal is gonna be connectivity. If Apple goes USB-C throughout the line, as it did with the 12-inch MacBook, a lot of folks are gonna need some new dongles. Oboy, more dongles!

        I’m actually considering a move back to a desktop Mac. Editing video is something of a pain in the keister even with a fairly stout 15-inch MacBook Pro (2.5 GHz i7, 16GB memory, 500GB drive).

      • Pat O' Says:

        Sounds like good advice. Thanks. The retina display is a must. I noticed the USB-C connector. Now we have Lightning and USB-C. If I was still using the computer for work, especially desktop publishing and video like you do, I would not get rid of the iMac.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Well, sheeyit. Damme if I know whether any of these newfangled whizbangs are worth your money, Pat. I was hoping for an updated desktop and got skunked.

        Dude at CNET says he’s big on the new entry-level 13-inch MacBook Pro, the model that’s (a) available now, and (2) doesn’t have the new Touch Bar. But $1,499? Ouch.

      • Pat O'Brien Says:

        The MacBook Pro was were I was heading, but I got detoured again to a Mac Mini using a 4K TV as a display. Get rid of my desktop iMac and desk, get a new computer, a new TV, and consolidate everything for the computer and wifi network (except the printer) on the entertainment stand. That opens up 5 feet of wall space in Sandy’s little studio room and gives me a big ass display in case my eyes go further South. All I have to do is come up with a small table in the living room to hold a keyboard, mouse, and trackpad. And it will be about $400 cheaper than the MacBook Pro.

        If you are still using the 2008 iMac, and intend to continue to earn your kibble as a journo/cartoonist, I guess a new iMac is unavoidable. Wanna buy a 2013 iMac. We even deliver. And, for a short time only, you get the Clinton Arkansas guarantee. If it breaks in half, you get to keep both halves.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Pat, I like the Mini. I think I’ve mentioned that we’ve used a 2010 Mini to run the TV, though lately we’re mostly on the Apple TV.

        Back then the RAM was user-upgradable, so I maxed that out, but there’s no Blu-Ray option, so we have to use an external Sony player for that.

        I think my burro-racing pal Hal is still using a Mini as his primary computer. Fine little beasties they are. Quiet running and largely trouble-free, which is good, because a lot of the guts are inaccessible to nervous types like me.

        If you’re still in the buying process, I’d max out the RAM now, ’cause you can’t do it afterward.

  7. Mike Frye Says:

    Speaking of Mac. believe it or not I just went on Flea Bay and picked up an actual USB mouse (I have a extra USB 3 hub) that I’ve got in my ancient MacBook Pro cera 2012. Finally I don’t have to worry about getting batteries anymore. I was using rechargeables that don’t last very long and there is nothing quite as upsetting is trying to run your Mac with a dead mouse and no extra batteries. I also don’t like having to buy literally hundreds of batteries over the years for that dumb mouse.(not good environmentally either)

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Mike, I’m something of a MacHoarder. I still have two of the USB mice and a couple of USB keyboards to go with ’em.

      The daily driver is that 15-inch MacBook Pro (mid-2014), hooked into a Thunderbolt 2 dock from Other World Computing, into which is hooked all kindsa crap — a 28-inch Dell monitor, some Logitech speakers, a couple NewerTech backup drives, and a Superdrive. I use a wireless keyboard and mouse with that one, and rechargeable batteries.

      I even have Zip and floppy drives in case I need to go trolling deep into the archives.

      And of course there’s the closet full of analog copies — the actual magazines, made of what the ancients called “paper,” something to do with dead trees.

    • Pat O'Brien Says:

      I noticed the wireless mouse and keyboard Apple is selling now are rechargeable. Buy more stuff! My keyboard and trackpad run a long time, I’m estimating about 90-120 days, on a set of batteries. But my mouse chews through two AA akalines every month. In the move to the smaller digs I donated my USB keyboard to Goodwill. But if I go the Mac mini way, I will need the wireless ones anyway. Good advice on the RAM Patrick. Thanks.

  8. Mike Frye Says:

    I also have An external 30 inch monitor with stereo speakers next to them. I don’t see as well as I used to so it’s kind of hard to pick up the images or even read the text anymore with that original 13 inch monitor.

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