Life is but a dream

Life is but a dream; it's what you make it.

Life is but a dream; it’s what you make it.

Those last few moments of sleep before the bathroom light snaps on and a cat jumps on you are prime dreamtime.

So I’m drinking beer with Tom Waits and while we sip we’re wandering around his cabin, which is more of a shack, really, and with a decidedly M.C. Escherish tilt to it, and I’m apparently staying the night ’cause Tom rasps, “You know where the mattress is, right?”

And I ask where Kathleen is, and he says she’s dealing them off the arm downtown at some hipster hash house, and he wonders what that’s like, because every time he and the band are trying to wrap up a track it seems they get hungry and need a bite to carry on but even getting a simple sandwich from this posh beanery is a pain in the ass because the chef is always short some effete ingredient.

“Sorry, can’t finish your sandwich without my artisanal mayonnaise,” I quip, and we both have a good laugh about that and then the bathroom light snaps on and the Turk jumps on me.

And none of this has anything to do with the fact that the Electoral College votes today and with a little mercy, a lot of balls and a metric shit-ton of educated, far-sighted patriotism they could save us all from ourselves and deny Sir Donald of Orange his dubiously acquired electoral majority.

This would dump the whole hot mess into the fat lap of Congress. And the House would select some garden-variety-nightmare Republican to be president, and just maybe — maybe! — given the popular vote, the Senate would pick some run-of-the-mill Democrat to be vice president.

But being a presidential elector in these circumstances must feel a lot like being the maid at the Motel 666 in Federalist 68 Hell. We get to shit the bed and she has to wash the sheets?

No, thanks, honey, she purrs. I’d rather make a sandwich for Tom Waits. I know what kind of mayo he likes, and I hear there’s some beer left.

Life is but a dream. Hail, Beelzebozo.

 

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9 Responses to “Life is but a dream”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    Ugh.

    “…It was equally desirable, that the immediate election should be made by men most capable of analyzing the qualities adapted to the station, and acting under circumstances favorable to deliberation, and to a judicious combination of all the reasons and inducements which were proper to govern their choice. A small number of persons, selected by their fellow-citizens from the general mass, will be most likely to possess the information and discernment requisite to such complicated investigations. ..”

    I thought Owsley invented LSD in the 20th century? Man, what were those guys smoking? Oh, right. That was the Age of Reason. This is the Age of Logic in 140 characters or less.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      An elitist concept, to be sure. But it sure would be nice to have a catcher in the rye, hey?

      “Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around – nobody big, I mean – except me. And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff – I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it’s crazy, but that’s the only thing I’d really like to be.”
      ― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

  2. Pat O'Brien Says:

    The electoral college is like most government institutions these days; it’s full of partisan party loyalists. There may a token elector or two with some huztpah, but that’s it. So the Blorangeorator gets it.

  3. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Zappa quote for the electoral college.

    “The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”
    ― Frank Zappa

  4. JD Dallager Says:

    Whoa, PO’G…….what time did the Turkinator wake you from your dreamland? And how long after that to compose what to me is an “epic” post? I’m IMPRESSED!!

    And the photo: When I first saw it I thought “Through the Looking Glass”; after reading the post I thought “Event horizon of a black hole”. Some real subliminal suggestions stirring silently there.

    Nice work!! And on an early Monday AM!! Mega-kudos and chapeaux!!

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      JD, this all happened around 5:20 in the a.m. The thing was born fully formed — I grabbed the iPad Mini from the nightstand and used it to shoot the pic, then got up and wrote the post. Bing bang boom. Dictation from the Other World, is what.

      Can’t blame it on what I had for dinner (leftover chicken soup and a salad). Who knows where these notions come from? If I could find out, I’d spend more time there.

      • JD Dallager Says:

        You have a GIFT, Patrick! Thanks for sharing it……and all year, too!

        Still searching for mine! 🙂

  5. debby511 Says:

    Well, if we have enough renegade EC delegates they could elect Hillary. If they give her 270 votes she’s in, right? Extremely unlikely, in spite of the best efforts of MoveOn and others, but everyone (except Michael Moore) predicted she would win the election easily.

    I wonder what all the Trump voters would do if that happened? Interesting times.

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