First blow, then snow

"Forget about that California dam, hon', we got a real problem right here at home."

“Forget about that California dam, hon’, we got a real problem right here at home.”

Well, it ain’t much of a snow. But the blow more than made up for it. We had to corral wandering bits and pieces of lawn art yesterday, which beats watching Stephen Miller lie on the Sunday shows like a creepy baldheaded teenager caught with a spank mag under his mattress. (“Uh, I read it for the articles? And anyway, the terrorists put it there!”)

Where does Beelzebozo find these alleged people? If you saw Miller lurking around a school playground, you’d probably call the law, amirite? The only video of this penis with ears should come from a vice cop’s lapel cam.

“Hands where I can see ’em, pally. And let’s get the mouse back in his house, a’ight?”

Meanwhile, the National Security Council is taking on Stooge-esque overtones, and not of the Iggy variety, either. Who knew we’d still be dealing with Russian stooges 53 years after “Dr. Strangelove?”

“Sir, you can’t let him in here. He’ll see everything! He’ll see the Big Board!”

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18 Responses to “First blow, then snow”

  1. larryatcycleitalia Says:

    I wondered the same thing -what rock did they find this guy under? Perhaps they thought, “OK, so you won’t let KellyAnne Cornflakes and her alternative facts on your show? Well, take THIS guy instead! You’ll be begging for KellyAnne after 2 minutes of this guy’s bobbing and weaving! Make American Hate Again!”
    But things could be worse – at least so far(?) there’s been no job for NYC’s former SS commandant Giuliani or Jersey’s “Big Chicken”. That’s sumpin’ no?

  2. Pat O'Brien Says:

    They found him under Jeff Sessions rock. Where else? How’s that draining the swamp thingy workin’ for ya?

  3. khal spencer Says:

    When I took the job at le bomb factorie, my mentor handed me his copy of Dr. Strangelove and said it was required viewing. Indeed it was. But I saw it as fiction, not as a premonition to a Trump presidency. Scary shit.

    In the building where I work is a dummy gravity nuclear bomb, down in the lobby. One of these days I have to borrow someone’s cowboy hat and find someone with a laboratory issue camera.

  4. Pat O'Brien Says:

    The two Steves, Bannon and Miller. The only time these guys should be in the White House is to clean out the grease trap in the kitchen’s main drain pipe. The Xenophobic Sweet Potato ( you can steal it guys, I did) can sure pick them. Plus we will probably get another Steve this week. The gifts from Hair Furher (stole that too) never end.

  5. tim Says:

    Peewee Herman should play Miller on SNL.

  6. David Rees Says:

    “Gentlemen! You can’t fight in here – it’s the War Room!”

  7. Dale Says:

    Is it just me, or does Stephen Miller look like he could be Vladimir Putin’s love child? He can certainly channel Count Vlad.

    • David Rees Says:

      And just as dangerous as old Vlad. This man is terrifying; he really believes all the shit he spews, whereas I think Conway is just a tool and a publicity whore. She will go, and say, whatever her handlers tell her to do or say. Miller is a truly evil, twisted man.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      You just know he has a couple of heads in the freezer, or some poor sod chained up in the basement. I can see him pulling on the fishnets and studded leather, with a little Jokeresque makeup, and goosestepping around in high heels.

      Not that there’s anything wrong with that. …

  8. ryansubike Says:

    After watching that video I had to fight down the urge to shout Zu Befehl Herr Hauptmann! Man what a douche what authoritarian regime does he think he’s working for?

  9. Dale E Brigham Says:

    As some wag said on the TV device, Miller’s diatribe probably sounded much better in the original German. (Same was said about Pat Buchanan’s Repug convention speech back in 1992. Bless you, Molly Ivins!)

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