Boom-boom, sailor?

Mr. Ivanka of Hollywood models the latest beachwear during a visit to Iraq.

Darth Cheeto donned his big black helmet yesterday and — after advising any Rooskies in the vicinity to take it on the Jesse Owens — ordered a barrage of ship-launched cruise missiles against a Syrian airfield, in retaliation for a chemical-weapons attack said to have killed 80 civilians.

Foreign Policy magazine and more than a few politicians of all stripes have questioned the thinking behind and legality of the strike. Congress, naturally, is sprawled on the couch, watching cable news and gobbling popcorn, happy to have someone else in control of the remote while occasionally shouting, “This show sucks!”

These things are always “targeted” strikes “in the vital national interest” and not at all acts of war, of course. And it goes without saying that they have nothing to do with bolstering anyone’s sagging poll numbers, or drawing the One Big Eye away from legislative failures, broken promises and tensions within the Praetorian Guard. Nor could there have been any messaging in the timing of the attack (while hosting President Xi Jinping of China at Mar-a-Lago).

I guess this is why Mr. Ivanka of Hollywood was modeling that stylish Kevlar-blazer combo in Iraq yesterday. The Chinese apparently have yet to supply the matching handbag, but you can’t have everything, y’know. War is heck.

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14 Responses to “Boom-boom, sailor?”

  1. Ira Says:

    So a narcissist with questionable mental stability has just kicked a paramilitary egomaniac in the shins. What could possibly go wrong? This might be fun to watch if the whole world wasn’t an unwilling partner.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      First thing came to mind was the apocalyptic classic “Alas, Babylon,” in which the fun between the U.S. and Russia starts shortly after a trigger-happy redhead fucks up with a missile in Syria.

  2. Charley Auer Says:

    Classy, high quality writing on the debacle we are living through. The missing handbag ruined the picture for me, very tacky!

  3. David Rees Says:

    I’m no apologist for Mr. Obama (as I think he made a number of blunders in his eight years), but there was a reason he agonized over making just this kind of military decision with Syria, and, of course, didn’t do what this unhinged moron just did. Obama understood only too well the global repercussions of such a move and how it would not only destabilize the entire region (while doing nothing to actually fix the problems in Syria), it would almost certainly lead to further clashes with Russia and Iran. Yes, Assad is a murderer and a full-time thug who needs to be hauled out and shot, but he’s Putin’s murderer and full-time thug and Putin will decide who gets shot and who doesn’t. Darth Cheeto has set in motion a chain of events he can’t possibly understand or have any concept of their significance.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Yeah, things were tough enough with smart people at the helm. Now that we’re into the reign of King Donald the Short-fingered, backed by Princes Brylcreem and Vitalis, alongside Princess Handbag, we are truly in the shit.

      Think of your crazy uncle yelling at the TV. Then think of him with access to heavy weapons.

  4. Pat O'Brien Says:

    What follows is my opinion, but I would argue it civilly with anyone. The missile strike on Syria is NOT covered by the AUMF passed after 9/11. The order for this strike was unconstitutional. Trump should be prosecuted.

    Now for gut reactions. Seeing Kunshner in Iraq with soldiers make me want to puke. He can offer them nothing, nothing at all. And Congress is getting ready to go on recess again. Recess is an appropriate word for a bunch of children. Hope they pass a continuing resolution to keep the government going while they raise money for the next election.

    • David Rees Says:

      Couldn’t agree more Pat. And irony of ironies, when Obama was faced with this very same situation in ’13 (agonizing about it as I said) and went to Congress to approve a possible military strike, Congress said no, like they said no to every damn thing Obama wanted. We needed to stay out of Syria they said. What do these spineless clowns say, and more importantly, do now?

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Ahoy, polloi

      Never fear. All is well. Jared Kushner and Steve Bannon have everything under control. “Ahoy, polloi. …”

      • JD Dallager Says:

        Sorry to say this, but my first thought was the infamous 1988 “Dukakis and his helmet on the tank” photo. Totally out of touch with his audience and perceptions.

        As someone once said: “Wisdom isn’t hereditary”. 🙂

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Oh, Christ, did the editorial cartoonists ever have a field day with that one. I worked a Denver event for the Dukakis campaign and a more out-of-touch and arrogant staff I have never seen.

        Until now, of course.

  5. ryansubike Says:

    And of course the fact that he owns stock in the maker of Tomahawk missiles has nothing to do with it……

  6. Pat O'Brien Says:

    This NYT article explains the AUMF and War Powers Act very well. After reading this, I am convinced trump did not have the authority to launch $82M worth of Tomahawks from a company (Raytheon of Tucson) he owns stock in as ryansubike noted above.

  7. Dale Says:

    I feel much safer now that Jared has been to Iraq. Iraqis must be saying “We went to Jared”.

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