What in the Sam Hill?

The Sam Hillborne recovers from its efforts in the sunny entryway at El Rancho Pendejo.

Yesterday was a Rivendell kind of day. The trails are usually crawling like anthills on a weekend, and the roads were busy, too. Plus I didn’t feel like doing anything of a serious nature, having chores on the schedule.

So Sam Hillborne and I pooted around on side streets and the Tramway bike path for a spell, just keeping the legs loose.

Some nitwit impatient to make a right turn honked at me as I proceeded through an intersection, with the light and pedestrian crossing signal working in my favor, and I reflected once again how concealed carry is a bad idea on a bicycle, if only for the sag a Ruger Model 3701 puts in a jersey pocket.

Afterward I mowed the weeds and retrieved some video from the old Canon ZR500 MiniDV camcorder, which Herself is eBaying along with a few metric shit-tons of other lightly used and heavily forgotten items cluttering up the nooks and crannies at El Rancho Pendejo.

The process of acquiring video from an old cassette camcorder is time-consuming and irksome, but proved rewarding in this instance. I unearthed some ancient footage of an elderly Chairman Meow and a very young Turkish, back when we still thought he was a she. So stay tuned for a short video trip down memory lane.

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9 Responses to “What in the Sam Hill?”

  1. David Rees Says:

    I admire that you were able to politely call this person who honked at you a “nitwit” – well done. It shows an increasing level of maturity and thoughtfulness in you as you go gently into old age. Blood pressure stays down, adrenaline levels are not skyrocketing – all good things [sarcasm toggle switched to off position]. F**K those bozos who pull that s**t! You shoulda stopped right in the middle of the damn intersection, flipped the clown off and not moved until the light turned and he/she was stuck there blocking traffic. Or, something like that. But that’s just me…

    • Pat O'Brien Says:

      Well, Patrick was thinking about shooting them. But if you pull that shit in Duke City, the cops shoot you back then give your the Miranda speech. Saves on the paper work.

      But I know what you mean Dave. Last time a lady did that to us, I gave her the “look where you are going” sign language.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      The right-hand-turn lanes here are death. Forget about signaling; nobody even slows down for ’em. Doesn’t matter if there’s a little old lady or a mom pushing a stroller in the crosswalk, either.

      If you ride the Tramway bike path, at a light-controlled intersection with the right of way on your side you have to keep an eye out for:

      • Drivers turning right on green.

      • Drivers turning left on green.

      • Drivers ignoring the red.

      • The traffic light abruptly changing on you (there’s really no way to see the light as you approach an intersection).

      • Turning autos running that light from either direction.

      • Other cyclists, skaters, Elliptigoers, joggers, dog-walkers and pedestrians who have no earthly idea what in the hell it is that they’re doing.

      You should see me approaching an intersection. My head’s swiveling like a speed freak watching The Flash and Quicksilver play table tennis.

  2. Pat O'Brien Says:

    You’d think when you’re riding the Sam Hill, they would all just stop and stare at it. It’s a beauty.

  3. ryansubike Says:

    The Sam is my “someday” bike. I don’t need another bike but someday I am getting myself a SamH

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Sam and I need to do a nice long ride sometime soon, maybe up to my old stomping grounds in Colorado. But the weather’s gonna have to settle down first. It’s been a little Coloradoish up there lately, which is to say unsettled, in the same way that the administration of King Donald the Short-finger is, only you can’t fire the snow.

  4. Sandy O'Brien Says:

    Thanks for making Pat a “Happy Camper” today!

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      My pleasure, Sandy. Next time you folks come up you need to bring your road bike and join us. The bosque trail is the perfect flat spin, with plenty of opportunity for sightseeing and all manner of traffic, from high-speed Lycra lemmings to just folks.

      Did I mention that once I saw a skater towing a boat on the bosque trail? True fact. I suspected an acid flashback, but nope. He was really there.

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