I don’t know much about ART, but. …

The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers never went electric, but they sure as shit knew their buses. Freak Bros. © forever by Gilbert Shelton

… I know what I don’t like.

Somebody — multiple somebodies, actually — has intercoursed the penguin in dramatic fashion as regards the Albuquerque Rapid Transit (ART) project, which already had all the positive press of a buddy flick called “Hey, Look At My Dick!”, starring Louis C.K. and Harvey Weinstein, directed by Roman Polanski from a script by Woody Allen.

Seriously, how do you fuck up a nine-mile bus line? And the nine miles of retail that goes with it? That takes real talent. I expect these people to go far, and probably soon, too, before the angry mobs kick down their doors.

• Late update: And meanwhile, as expected here at the Duke City Chuckle Hut, the ACLU comes after Albuquerque for its thickheaded, ham-handed anti-panhandling ordinance. Defending this attempt to keep Those People away from the tony real estate is another budget item we could have done without.

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13 Responses to “I don’t know much about ART, but. …”

  1. mooremediaone Says:

    OMG, the Freak Bro’s are a magical blast from the past! Thanks for that graphic. Brings me back to my stonier days 🙂

    Also:
    ” “Hey, Look At My Dick!”, starring Louis C.K. and Harvey Weinstein, directed by Roman Polanski from a script by Woody Allen.” – is so funny I’m still chuckling.

    Good luck with ART. Looks like you’ll need it.

    ~doug moore

  2. larryatcycleitalia Says:

    Nine miles? Really? Chinese buses? Really? This is the kind of stuff you’d expect in a place like Sicily. Amazing.

  3. khal spencer Says:

    Funny how as soon as the Duke City administration changed, the skeletons came rattling out of the closet.

    Back when I was Transportation Board chair in these parts, I once got so exasperated with a consultant that I told him to not come back until he got rid of all the cutesy slides and showed us some real numbers. You can guess the rest.

  4. JD Dallager Says:

    Always good to know that you’re not in it alone:

    http://thehill.com/opinion/international/358048-denver-has-a-coming-transit-apocalypse

  5. khal spencer Says:

    The problem I see with these pie in the sky government projects is they reflect political desires rather than what the market wants. Plus, like the money-devouring Rail Runner that Wild Bill Richardson saddled us with, these projects often have poor connectivity to real destinations. If you already have to get to the ART district in your car, there is not a good reason to park the car and take the Fabulous Furry Freak Brother’s bus unless the car option is untenable.

    • Dale Says:

      Time to listen to “We’re All Bozo’s On This Bus”.

      • Dale Says:

        Forgot the link.

      • khal spencer Says:

        In today’s culture of microaggression, this stuff would be banned. Gotta laugh as I listen and revel in the increasing distance between now and my misspent youth. Ah, for those old organic chemistry experiments in the dorms…

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        A fave. “Animals without backbones hid from each other or fell down.”

        I saw The Firesign Theatre in Denver once, a thousand years ago, and met some of my best friends as part of an impromptu performance of “Nick Danger” in Greeley.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      In Bibleburg it was “trolleys.” Fake streetcars. Absolutely ridiculous.

      A fat guy on a bicycle could cruise the entirety of downtown, from Colorado College to Old Town Bike Shop, in less than five minutes, and that’s if he stopped for all the red lights.

  6. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Wow, the whole ART fiasco is fugly. It reminds me of the wind turbine on Ft. Huachuca that broke a year after they installed it. The company that built and erected it went belly up, so the parts needed to repair the turbine are not available. The thing has been sitting idle, visible from a major road, for over 4 years.

    However, I have to admit it is better than money spent on a useless war. At least we got something.

  7. ryansubike Says:

    First of all I love the Cartoon VW bus, second duke city has no monopoly on inept public transport departments, in Seattle we voted on light rail in 1996 and it took a decade for any work to get done but there were able to alienate multiple neighborhoods and constituents in that time, and after getting the first line in (downtown to Airport) there has been an equally glacial move to expand – one new line (downtown to UW) in the following decade. Maybe my daughter will get to enjoy a decent light rail network.

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