Mirror, mirror

Mirror, mirror, on the bar; who’s the loony in that car?

I got back on the bike on Saturday for a short spin to blow the ol’ carbon out of the cylinders.

The roads were crusty and dusty, where they weren’t wet and/or icy, so I needed something with fenders (the Soma DC) plus winter tights and a truly ancient Pearl Izumi hi-viz jacket. Seriously, this Day-Glo duster must date to 1994 or thereabouts. It’s old enough to be living in our basement (if we had one) while we paid off its college loans. “B.A.” stands for “barista’s assistant?” Who knew?

There were lots of hi-viz jackets and tights traversing Tramway, so I guess everyone was as sick as I was of huddling indoors or shoveling snow. But boom, come Sunday, we were back in the icebox and I decided to go for a squishy run instead of a second ride.

This time we got rain, which was a nice change. Don’t gotta shovel no rain.

Speaking of shoveling, I see Wally O’Steele hopes to lie straight to our faces in prime time tomorrow, eliminating the middleman (the “fake news”).

I don’t believe that the networks’ news departments are obliged to broadcast fiction — that’s the purview of their entertainment divisions — so p’raps the usual filters will remain in place.

Or maybe Comedy Central could air this piece of performance art, with Garrett Morris on a split screen, riffing on an old “Weekend Update” bit from “Saturday Night Live.”

It’d be a two-fer — delivering news for the deaf from the dumb.

• Late update: The networks blew the call, from James Fallows.

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13 Responses to “Mirror, mirror”

  1. Pat O'Brien Says:

    I donated my mirror (just like it) to El Grupo in Tucson, along with a bunch of other stuff in the “bike box” in the garage. That mirror and I never got along very well.

    https://www.elgrupocycling.org

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I can’t say I’m a fan, either, Pat. I’m limited in mirror selection because I don’t like helmet models and I use bar-end shifters on a majority of my bikes.

      What I need, clearly, is some sort of stem-mounted “smart” iDevice linked to a rear-facing 4K video camera with laser rangefinder that beeps, chirps or hoots to notify me of any approaching hazards, along with checking my email/texts/voicemail, streaming music and YouTube videos, and automatically downloading bike porn.

      Naturally it will be powered by the battery in my e-bike. Either that or the solar panel on top of my helmet.

  2. khal spencer Says:

    I’ve got a mirror on my old commuting helmet, along with lights.

    The only place I want to see Il Douche’s speech is on the Bill Maher show.

  3. Gary Burmette Says:

    As usual, sir, spot on about the upcoming dis-infotainment. Well said. And I shall lie with a pillow over my head, avoiding any dangerous leakage from the TV, phone, etc. Gawd hep us all…

  4. larryatcycleitalia Says:

    We just made a deal today to “lease” a couple of new 2019 SCOTT Aspect 950 MTB’s for the time we’re here in Napoli. We’ll go up and grab our saddles, pedals and some cycling garb from our Piedmont HQ this weekend and be back when the bikes (we hope) arrive at the local shop.
    I popped over to what they call a “Chinese Store” here (which means pretty much everything inside is made in China and sold cheap) to pick up some locks (and blinky lights – just-in-case, since it does get dark here fairly early this time of year)
    A set of “Knog-off” front and rear (red/white) silicone blinky lights cost $2 and the cable locks $3. The high-speed train ride from Napoli to Milan will cost us $15 each…and the world’s best pizza I had for lunch here today in Napoli cost $5. https://www.sorbillo.it/
    We’ve managed to blend into the tourists now rather than standing out as ‘Muricans. They ask “Where are you from?” everywhere we go and we make ’em guess. So far not one has guessed right in their first 3-4 tries. I’m really flattered when they guess I’m from the far north of their country rather than from outside of Italy 🙂

  5. khal spencer Says:

    Ok, for anyone planning on coming down for the Santa Fe Century.

    Effect of swearing on strength and power performance

    Richard Stephens
    David K. Spierer
    Emmanuel Katehis

    School of Psychology, Keele University, United Kingdom

    Division of Athletic Training, Health and Exercise Science, Long Island University, Brooklyn, USA

    https://reader.elsevier.com/reader/sd/pii/S1469029216301352?token=8EEB4FFF0BF1C20E85F2B5B8108610D5DDBA327207278DA1038F2121C188F0B0A9CE5132F9ACAFC73C3CFFB8F67A7BF0

    • Pat O'Brien Says:

      Damn, I knew that shit was true. If Patrick would keep quiet, I might be able to hang with him. For a mile or two anyway. Once he starts with his bullshit, I’ll lose that wheel for sure.

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