Stock options

“Stock” art. That’s a publishing joke, son!

What can society do with some well-heeled, ne’er-do-well swell like Mark Zuckerberg, who persists in skullduggery, but unlike your corner dime-store hood has a fine-proof wallet and thinks a cell is something the rubes use to check Facebook?

How about a stint in the stocks? If we can’t shame him, or slammer him, let’s slime him. Food for thought, que no?

Yes, yes, yes, it’s another exciting episode of Radio Free Dogpatch. Grab a basket of rotten eggs, warm up your pitching arm, and take your place in line.

Hur-ry, hur-ry, hur-ry, step right this way! It’s showtime!

P L A Y    R A D I O    F R E E    D O G P A T C H

• Technical notes: This episode was recorded with an Audio-Technica ATR2100-USB microphone and a Zoom H5 Handy Recorder. I edited using Apple’s GarageBand on a 2014 MacBook Pro. The music is some medieval Viking ditty from Kyster at It may have been performed by these dudes here. Other sounds liberated from Apple’s iMovie library. Tim Cook will probably have me put in the stocks for that, if Pøbel doesn’t beat him to it, but they’ll have to catch me first.

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9 Responses to “Stock options”

  1. Pat O'Brien Says:

    I like the applause track at the end. Do you have an applause light in the studio? Nice job.

    The only way to punish rich people is to make them poor. Nothing else works, becasue they own everything else. And, yeah, people, and organizations, still on Facebook and Twitter deserve exactly what they get. We know there is no data privacy, never was. Just like we know the planet is stewing in our own CO2 juices, but most foilks, Americans in particular, are willing to give up anything to try and reverse it. I’m glad I didn’t have any kids.

    • Pat O'Brien Says:

      Unwilling. Duh.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Thanks, Paddy me lad. I fear impoverishing our man Zuck will take some doing, though. How long can it be before the Riches all pile into Musk’s starship and bugger off to Alpha Centauri, leaving us to sink into the sewage here at the old home place?

      And yeah, I’m glad we didn’t go the kid route. Reproduction requires a degree of optimism I don’t possess.

      • Pat O'Brien Says:

        You are welcome, Patrick. All I have to do is slow down and edit my comments before hitting the post button. Optimism is very low with me as well.

  2. Dale Says:

    This may sound a bit harsh, but a Reign of Terror Lite (no guillotine ) may be in order. It may not happen from all of the courts, but at least a cursory financial investigation of all the tax returns of our president, senators, reps, and nearly every person elected to “represent” the people- federal, state, and county is long past due.

    BTW: Anyone know how heavy a decent blade needs to be? Just asking.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      My colleague Doc Google says the guillotine blade and its mouton (lead weight) ran around 175 pounds total. And even that didn’t do the trick every time.

      I’m sure the technology has improved immensely since the Terror, though.

  3. Herb from Michigan Says:

    Ok ok…I’ll cancel that Beach Club membership. It would require me to update my passport. Which I decided not to do anyway since getting on a cruise ship or jet is the last thing I want to do in my downtime. “Think Globally-Punish Locally” sure appeals to me. It would be cool to ride your bike over to the local Pelting Station to chuck a few putrid vegetables or fruits at the Asshat of the Day. I think you’re on to fixing most , if not all, of what ails us POG. What a great feeling it would be to paint adolph.trumps head up as a piñata and take a few blindfolded whacks at him. All while firmly ensconced in the stocks. I think a 7 iron would be the right club.

  4. larryatcycleitalia Says:

    You could be onto something here – think of how angry Dishonest Don got while being ridiculed by Obama at that dinner a few years ago. These a-holes are always seemingly surrounded by admirers and/or sycophants so what better punishment than to get an earfull from the rest of us armed with rotten tomatoes and eggs? And then to get a bill for the entire project. These pricks are legendary cheapskates so paying even a few million would really frost ’em!

    I had to laugh the other day when Don the Con was ranting about his right-wing crackpot friends being tossed out of Zuckerland but now wants the Faux News guy fired for saying he obstructed justice.
    I guess freedom of speech is only for Donnie’s supporters and the rest of us should just STFU? Damn, I’m glad I don’t live there anymoreQ

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