No dicking around with Iran, please

Jaysis. I have no idea why the tired, poor, huddled masses yearning to breathe free keep coming here.

Maybe they’re thinking: “Well, they hardly ever bomb anyone inside their own borders. Even the brown people.”

And they may have something there. I refer you to the late Professor Carlin: “You don’t have to be a history major or a political scientist to see the Bigger Dick Foreign Policy Theory. … It’s a subconscious need to project the penis into other people’s affairs. It’s called ‘fucking with people.'”

But then again, we have the Bill Burr Theory of Homeland Defense and Immigration Control: “You’re gonna build a wall from fuckin’ California to Texas? You actually think you’re gonna get this done? Look at the Freedom Tower. We actually wanted that shit, and it took almost 15 years to get it done. Half the people don’t even want this fuckin’ thing. … I’m telling you, by the time they finished it, this country would be so fucked up we’re gonna be the ones going over it.”

If Professor Burr is correct, it would seem that the Bigger Dick Theory applies to domestic affairs as well. They fuck with us here, too. Maybe all you brown people should save yourselves the climb.

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7 Responses to “No dicking around with Iran, please”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    At least the Marx Bros version of this idiocy was comedy.

  2. Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

    I sent emails to the dolts in DeeCee who supposedly represent me, noting Don the Con’s moronic taunts that Iraq needs to pay us for the air base we built there if they kick our military out and that he’ll blow up Iran’s cultural sites.
    What more does this boob need to do to prove he’s unfit to be the local dog-catcher, let alone the f–king POTUS?
    I have never been more ashamed of the leaders of the country whose name is on my passport. Nixon, Reagan, Bush 1 and 2 – added together are not as awful as this guy!
    #1 on the list of horrible presidents!!! Bigly! The Worst Ever!
    Gawd help us all.

  3. Pat O'Brien Says:

    I was trying to say something profound. I got nothing. So, little fingers? You got a little dick. Deal with it asshole without bombing anyone.

    Meanwhile, Beau of the Fifth Column put out a travel advisory. He cautions being around or in any trump properties because they are prime terrorist targets for Iran’s proxies. Makes sense to me, although you wouldn’t see me around or in one anyway.

    • SAO' Says:

      Maybe getting his own digs bombed was his strategy all along? They’re losing him money as is, so burn it down and collect the insurance. Plus give himself a participation trophy in the War on Terrorism, Inc.

    • Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

      When I visit my SoCal friends for a bike ride we often ride past Don the Con’s golf course on the Pacific Ocean…and I’m always tempted to stop and pee on the sign. But even if the Iranians blew up everything with his name on it, would he even be affected? In a way it would be doing the world a service, but does he actually have any skin in the game in any of ’em? I thought he just rented his name and provided some management so the eateries were cited for unsafe conditions and plenty of undocumented immigrants were employed?

  4. Pat O'Brien Says:

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