Booted up

Bad ankle! Bad, bad, bad! Get in that boot and stay there, thinking about what it is that you’ve done.

Behold the latest in Empire Stormtrooper technology: the boot. Just call me Darth Gimp.

The doc I saw yesterday is a podiatrist and a cutter, but he didn’t see any pressing need to fire up the old circular saw and prescribe a piñon peg and parrot from Largo Juan Plata’s in Old Town.

Dude sez to me he sez, I am presently enjoying an avulsion fracture (basically a severe sprain with extra attitude) and it should respond quite nicely to immobilization (hence the sexy footwear a la Bootsy Collins).

We’ll meet again in a few weeks to compare notes. The doc and I, not Bootsy. Though I wouldn’t object to meeting up with Bootsy, too.

I liked this approach because (a) it reminded me of the spiel I got from an orthopod the last time I did this ankle, back in 1983. I was sporting a fiberglass walking cast, installed by others, that he considered an overabundance of caution. Questions of diagnosis, treatment, and masculinity were raised and examined.

Also, and too, (2), it means nobody is firing up a circular saw and murmuring, “He under yet? Yay, boat payment.”

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23 Responses to “Booted up”

  1. BruceM Says:

    Very good, Patrick! Appears as though you’ve dodged that bullet in fine style. A walking boot should slow you down just enough.

  2. Libby Says:

    That them thar fancy boot is a durn sight better than an ol’ cast! Heal up good and right quick, son!

  3. Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

    So how long before you can ride a bike again? Slap on some flat pedals and off you go!

    • BruceM Says:

      Good thinking, Larry. Otherwise he’s gonna get fatter than he already is!

      • Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

        I wasn’t thinking about exercise, but about getting down to the supermarket for vittles and such and just getting outta the house for a spell. “Ankling” and fixing a cleat on there were never part of the scheme. Perhaps that knee scooter thing’s a better idea?

    • khal spencer Says:

      The problem with something like boot that is that one, it immobilizes your ankle so no “ankling” on the pedal stroke and two, it adds a couple inches of leg on one side. I tried it when I was likewise adorned in 2016 and it was a PIA. Between that broken foot and the rotator cuff/biceps surgery and also a double hernia repair all in one year, I went from 160 lbs to 173 and looked like a fat slob.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Yeh, what K said. That boot throws my whole motheaten carcass out of whack. I usually putter around the rancheroo in an old pair of Tevas, but had to go to a thick-soled hiking shoe on the left foot to keep from throwing my back out with this beast on the right.

      With almost zero ankling capability, I think it’s gonna be a while before I start turning pedals again, even the flat ones.

  4. SAO’ Says:

    Looks way more high tech than the wooden shoes that Uncle Sugar would spring for. The Army’s thought process was, you’re going to show your weakness by breaking something? Then march around in the Clog of Shame for a while.

  5. SAO’ Says:

    Nice photo, by the way. All those years of snapping shots of perfectly level bikes are finally paying off.

  6. SAO' Says:

    Meanwhile …
    … there’s a name I haven’t heard in ages …

    https://apnews.com/58043910be7bdc6818344bdee2096bc2?utm_medium=AP_Sports&utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=Twitter

  7. Pat O'Brien Says:

    It’s an Air boot! Must be a good one. Heal as quickly as you can.

  8. Dale Says:

    Herself leaves you unsupervised for a short time and you go fuck up. Well, I understand. Good luck with the boot.

  9. JD Dallager Says:

    Heal quickly, PO’G!!
    I won’t ask how you kept your left leg out of the way and also kept your balance while taking that photo. 🙂 Shows great core strength!!

  10. T J Mora Says:

    I broke my fibula in 2006 when my foot found a gofer hole. Metal plate and many screws later, all is well. Your lucky. We all heal eventually. And now I can tell you when the weather is changing.

  11. Dave Watts Says:

    Sorry to hear of the injury, Patrick That’s some fancy hardware you’re sporting. Any CF in that to lighten up the mass? And how long was it before you looked at the sole and contemplated how to fasten a cleat to the bottom (in theory, at least)?

  12. Pat O’Brien Says:

    Good morning. Maybe you can use this down time to master those barre chords. You can barre the E and Am to get lots of extra songs into your book. Bm, Cm, F,G,A and sharps and flats await, all above the 7th fret. I am still struggling to get the chord changes done in time, but it lets all 6 strings ring to improve the sound and make strumming easier.

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