Paper view

We’re on a roll here at Mad Dog Media.

Bob Dylan has sold his entire songwriting catalog to the Universal Music Publishing Group for more than $300 million, according to The New York Times.

In related news, Novelty Gag Products & Auto Body Repair of Sinvergüenza, New Mexico, announced that it has acquired the rights to the entire Mad Dog Media catalog for $149.99, a used whoopie cushion, and a vague promise to paint a 2005 Subaru Forester an eye-pleasing sage green at a time and date TBD.

“We plan to target bike shops, portable-toilet rentals, and nursing homes with our new line of Mad Dog soft goods,” explained Novelty CEO Desgraciado “Chuey” Hediondo. “We figure to clean up bigtime.”

“What the hell?” added Mad Dog Media founder Patrick O’Grady. “Ammo’s in short supply, and anyway, I’m tired of hosing lawyers off my lawn. Now get the hell off my lawn.”

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15 Responses to “Paper view”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    Did Soft Weave buy the rights to the paper product?

  2. JD Says:

    You might want to reach out to Vermont Bag Balm as a possible antidote product. Wise marketing always provides a solution that creates a problem that you also have a solution for (sorry, ended with a preposition there). Symbiosis can create ever-growing, self-licking ice cream cones … and huge net revenues.
    I often fantasize that the healthcare/fitness and fast food industries “feed” off one another in an ever-expanding fashion.
    Khal: Is that what entropy is all about? 🙂

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      “Millions for nonsense, but not one cent for entropy.” — Geoffrey Fourmyle, a.k.a. Gully Foyle.

    • khal spencer Says:

      Newton’s Third Law, I think. “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”.

      • JD Says:

        Indeed!!

      • Shawn Says:

        I thought it was his 2nd Law. I had to check. Yep, typical average freshman mistake. It’s his 3rd Law.

        Entropy: Isn’t that when you buy some new fangled gadget from China and you find out that it doesn’t work and you try to get all the pieces, parts, and paperwork back into the box and are unable to do so without distorting the box? Oh yeah, and there needs to be a “God da**m* F**king piece of crap” in there as well.

        Sinvergüenza? I like that.

        • khal spencer Says:

          Sinvergüenza seems a popular place.

          I think Entropy is what happened when I overhauled the engine on my motorcycle during my low income youth. “Now where the hell did this part go? Oh, yeah, it went into that part that I already bolted down….”

        • Patrick O'Grady Says:

          Entropy? Isn’t that the little town in North Carolina that the Rev. Billy C. Wirtz hails from?

          Nope, that’s Chromosome. My bad. His third wife, Roberta, is from Entropy.

  3. Libby Says:

    At least he has only sold the rights. I hope UMG is not in charge of the storage and retention of physical property. See the wiki article about the 2008 fire at Universal Studios. The 2019 investigative piece by the New York Times that uncovered the true scope of damage is linked in the wiki entry. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_Universal_Studios_fire

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      They don’t seem like “top men,” or even reliable custodians, do they? I keep seeing the final scene in “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” but with the guy wheeling the goodies into a blast furnace instead of an endless warehouse.

      Raiders of the Lost Coltrane

      “Hm, lessee here, where’s the Coltrane section?
      Say, anybody smell smoke?”

    • Pat O’Brien Says:

      I would have thought the “Dylan” thing to do would be to put the entire collection of songs into the public domain. Copyright law in this country is total bullshit.

  4. Pat O’Brien Says:

    BTW, “Paper View” is another classic Mad Dog title for a post. Chapeau, again!

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