Hardest jigsaw puzzle ever

This reminds me of the visual migraines I used to get as a teenager.

So. There I was, doing a bit of yard maintenance with the old string trimmer, when I heard a pop.

The first thing that comes to mind in these parts is, “Did someone just try to bust a cap in my ass?” So I scan the yard for assailants and see bupkis, unless one of the house finches at the feeder has a 9mm Beretta concealed somewhere beneath his feathers.

Then I have a look behind me.

Oopsie.

My guess is the string trimmer found a small chunk of brick paver or a stone or whatever and pitched a Shohei Ohtani fastball at the sliding glass door. Right on the money it was, too. And I do mean money.

In other yard news, the wildife cam reports that Spike the Terrorist Deer and a pal popped round last night to eat most of the roses and sample the immature fruit on the ornamental pear tree while a raccoon inspected the grass for interesting tidbits. Just two more indicators that yards are a plot by the home and garden/psychiatry/whiskey cartels to create a perpetual-motion money machine.

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18 Responses to “Hardest jigsaw puzzle ever”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    I hate shit like that happening. It looks like it didn’t shatter through, or did you omit that part. Still, I imagine one doesn’t want to live with the mess although to be honest, it kinda looks like art.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Looks like an oil painting. A buddy in college used to get a similar effect by applying multiple layers of acrylic and beating the mortal shit out of the canvas.

      The door is double-pane glass, and only the outside got croaked. It’s slowly coming apart and a good wind will put it in a pile on the patio.

      The glass dude is popping round on Monday to make his house payment for the month. I’m considering having the yard paved and sprayed green.

  2. Pat O’Brien Says:

    A beautiful, albeit costly, photo. You have a good eye. I am also digging the new masthead. And, good morning you hoser, heh!

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Good morning to you, sir. The photo was pure luck, as per usual. I just happened to walk past at the right time and thought, “Hm, need to get a pic of that.”

    • khal spencer Says:

      I was thinking the same thing. Make a 12×18 print and sell it at a gallery to pay for the damage. And then buy a bunch of panes of glass and start doing “art”.

    • Shawn Says:

      Yes art it is. Although I wonder; did you scream like Munch? It has that kind of a turn back around on itself kind of look.

      New glass? What? No duct tape fix, no aluminum foil, no cardboard. What kind of a starving writer are you? Oh yeah, you have a highly intelligent wife that works as well. I guess then that the next dining out will be “in” appreciating the view through the new crystal clear glass.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        I didn’t scream, but the click of the eyeroll I performed probably sounded like Clint cocking his .44 Mag.

        Meanwhile, all praise to working women. Many’s the time I’ve reminded Herself how much money we’ve saved on duct tape, aluminum foil, cardboard, and plywood because she makes enough money to fix whatever I break.

  3. JD Says:

    Looks like a spiral fracture of the humorous to me! Or maybe a kachink from the wallet? 🙂

  4. Dale Says:

    And I thought it was a lame photoshop impressionist attempt of your yard.

  5. carl duellman Says:

    there was a famous glass sculpture back in the early 1900(?) that got damaged and the artist actually liked it better that way. i can’t seem to find a picture of it or who the artist was.

  6. Pat O’Brien Says:

    So, how bad is it going to hurt to fix the door? Like GS-Mini bad?

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