This reminds me of the visual migraines I used to get as a teenager.
So. There I was, doing a bit of yard maintenance with the old string trimmer, when I heard a pop.
The first thing that comes to mind in these parts is, “Did someone just try to bust a cap in my ass?” So I scan the yard for assailants and see bupkis, unless one of the house finches at the feeder has a 9mm Beretta concealed somewhere beneath his feathers.
Then I have a look behind me.
Oopsie.
My guess is the string trimmer found a small chunk of brick paver or a stone or whatever and pitched a Shohei Ohtani fastball at the sliding glass door. Right on the money it was, too. And I do mean money.
In other yard news, the wildife cam reports that Spike the Terrorist Deer and a pal popped round last night to eat most of the roses and sample the immature fruit on the ornamental pear tree while a raccoon inspected the grass for interesting tidbits. Just two more indicators that yards are a plot by the home and garden/psychiatry/whiskey cartels to create a perpetual-motion money machine.
Tags: Spike the Terrorist Deer
Mad Blog Media 
May 16, 2021 at 8:14 am |
I hate shit like that happening. It looks like it didn’t shatter through, or did you omit that part. Still, I imagine one doesn’t want to live with the mess although to be honest, it kinda looks like art.
May 16, 2021 at 8:41 am |
Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Looks like an oil painting. A buddy in college used to get a similar effect by applying multiple layers of acrylic and beating the mortal shit out of the canvas.
The door is double-pane glass, and only the outside got croaked. It’s slowly coming apart and a good wind will put it in a pile on the patio.
The glass dude is popping round on Monday to make his house payment for the month. I’m considering having the yard paved and sprayed green.
May 16, 2021 at 3:32 pm |
I thought of your situation today when I was mowing the lawn and using the weed whacker.
May 16, 2021 at 8:23 am |
A beautiful, albeit costly, photo. You have a good eye. I am also digging the new masthead. And, good morning you hoser, heh!
May 16, 2021 at 8:43 am |
Good morning to you, sir. The photo was pure luck, as per usual. I just happened to walk past at the right time and thought, “Hm, need to get a pic of that.”
May 16, 2021 at 11:32 am |
Patrick, great images are “given” they are not “taken.” It was a gift to you!
May 16, 2021 at 1:49 pm |
And I’ll take whatever I’m given.
May 16, 2021 at 8:50 am |
I was thinking the same thing. Make a 12×18 print and sell it at a gallery to pay for the damage. And then buy a bunch of panes of glass and start doing “art”.
May 16, 2021 at 11:06 am |
And a sling shot!
May 16, 2021 at 11:17 am |
Yes art it is. Although I wonder; did you scream like Munch? It has that kind of a turn back around on itself kind of look.
New glass? What? No duct tape fix, no aluminum foil, no cardboard. What kind of a starving writer are you? Oh yeah, you have a highly intelligent wife that works as well. I guess then that the next dining out will be “in” appreciating the view through the new crystal clear glass.
May 16, 2021 at 1:43 pm |
I didn’t scream, but the click of the eyeroll I performed probably sounded like Clint cocking his .44 Mag.
Meanwhile, all praise to working women. Many’s the time I’ve reminded Herself how much money we’ve saved on duct tape, aluminum foil, cardboard, and plywood because she makes enough money to fix whatever I break.
May 16, 2021 at 1:08 pm |
Looks like a spiral fracture of the humorous to me! Or maybe a kachink from the wallet? 🙂
May 16, 2021 at 1:44 pm |
“Spiral fracture of the humorous.” Hee, and also haw. Well played, sir; well played.
May 16, 2021 at 1:45 pm |
And I thought it was a lame photoshop impressionist attempt of your yard.
May 16, 2021 at 1:49 pm |
My copy of Photoshop is so old, it only works on daguerrotypes.
May 17, 2021 at 8:20 am |
there was a famous glass sculpture back in the early 1900(?) that got damaged and the artist actually liked it better that way. i can’t seem to find a picture of it or who the artist was.
May 17, 2021 at 9:24 am |
So, how bad is it going to hurt to fix the door? Like GS-Mini bad?
May 17, 2021 at 2:54 pm |
Oh, yeah. GS Mini-e Koa acoustic-electric bad. It gon’ hurt, is what.