All tired out.
So there I was, just riding along, when the rear tire started going softer than Brett Kavanaugh’s FBI background check.
I was already heading home, so I figured I’d just head there faster. But first I stopped to pump the tire up a bit because cornering on the rim at speed is always iffy.
That worked, for a while, but it was clear I would have to stop to give the ol’ Zéfal another workout if I wanted to ride this mess home, where the floor pump, workstand, and air conditioning reside.
So there I was, just pumping along, when a couple young women on mountain bikes rolled up.
“Do you need any help?” one asked brightly.
“No, thanks, I’m good,” I replied. And off they went.
Wasn’t that nice of the younguns, to offer aid and comfort to the auld fella? Lucky for them I wasn’t a Supreme Court justice.
Tags: Brett Kavanaugh, flats, These Kids Today
Mad Blog Media 
September 14, 2021 at 4:36 pm |
If they were cute, you could have asked them to help you pump it up. The tire, that is.
September 14, 2021 at 4:42 pm |
I must look awfully harmless in my old age. “Aw, look at the poor sweaty senile old fool. We should ask if he’s having a stroke or something. Whoa, wait a sec, he is having a stroke!”
September 14, 2021 at 4:44 pm |
I’ve felt that way for years.
September 14, 2021 at 4:45 pm |
Looking at that picture. Did you actually managed to flat a Schwalbe?
September 14, 2021 at 4:47 pm |
I did. First flat I’ve had in months, and I can’t remember the last time I punctured one of these Little Big Bens. But there’s been a shit-ton of broken glass on the mean streets lately and I haven’t always been able to avoid it. I expect the sealant in my tubes has aged out of effectiveness.
September 14, 2021 at 4:50 pm |
I had this huge goathead sticking out of a Marathon Plus on the tandem a couple weeks ago. The goathead gave up in frustration and I finally pulled it out. The Long Haul Trucker likewise has Marathons and Marathon Pluses on two wheelsets. I’ve yet to flat them but they ain’t light.
September 14, 2021 at 5:15 pm |
“I expect the sealant on my tubes has aged out of effectiveness”. I can’t count the responses I could provide to that!!! 🙂
September 14, 2021 at 5:31 pm |
Yeah, that’s what you call your slow, underhand softball right over the plate, eh?
September 14, 2021 at 6:42 pm |
Hee and haw!
September 15, 2021 at 7:27 am |
We have hoed this row into dust. And, ain’t it always the rear tire? I am glad hiking boots don’t need no stinking sealant!
September 16, 2021 at 10:04 am |
For chrissakes POG you can’t withhold critical information with this storyline. Once you arrived home…. What kind of tire levers? Just how old were those tubes and was the sealant stock with them or added on later in the dead of night. Whilst you had the wheel out did you clean the rim walls and attempt to true it up? What was the ambient temperature in the garage workshop? It’s unlike you to short-sheet we readers like this. Little did the two young’uns know they passed by the Mark Twain of bicycle writing.
September 17, 2021 at 7:33 am |
Hey, whaddaya expect from a semiretired slacker and full-time troglodyte? Faced with a technological challenge I invariably hoot dolefully for a few moments (“Ook ook ook), then pick up a smooth, hand-sized stone or some other blunt object and start pounding on things (“Ook ook ook chee chee chee!”).
Whew. Now that the lizard brain has decided to take a nap I can tell you that the bike was a Soma Saga touring bike (cantilever model, now discontinued) and the tires Schwalbe Little Big Bens, a stout, durable, 700×38 tire lacking in sensitivity (not unlike myself) that can be ridden quite a ways while almost completely flat (again, not unlike myself).
Inflation device is a Zéfal HPX frame pump, which is swell for pumping up slow leaks and/or pounding on things.
Inner tubes are Specialized AirLock (Presta valve, 700×28-38) of an indeterminate age. These sumbitches work right nice and for quite a while, though if you leave a bike hanging for a while in cold weather the sealant can clump up in spots, so you’ll want to put ’er in the workstand and spin the wheels for a few minutes if you don’t want to feel like you’re riding a bucking bronco for the first few klicks. I keep a few bottles of the stuff around to goop up other tubes with removable valve cores as necessary.
Tire irons? Whoo, Hoss, you got me there. Plastic nesting levers made in England, and no manufacturer’s logo. They’ve never failed me yet; I must have a dozen of them in various saddlebags.
Ambient temp in the workshop (my office) is 78°, though if I’m feeling the glow whilst banging on things with rocks and sticks I occasionally will nudge the Honeywell thermostat downward a degree.
Finally, “clean?” “True?” Your words are strange, friend. Anything gets dirty or weird around here, out it goes. Unless it’s me, of course.